Thread: Another First Timer Question

Have a question that I know must have been posted before. My wife and I are headed to CN for the first time in June. We’ve discussed going to the AN beach – I’m interested but nervous, but she’s not yet sold on the idea. We both go nude around the house all the time – so, privately no big deal.

So, here’s the question: If I get brave enough to try the A/N beach and the wife does not, is it acceptable to go solo? I could find a corner and not bother anyone else, but I don’t want to seem like some sort of a creep – not to mention, I’m a little nervous about this! My biggest concern is proper respect and etiquette.

Not sure if its an official policy, but you are judged to be creepy if you are a lone male, and may be asked to leave. Its more acceptable once you have gone a few times and guests have seen you with your mate.

I do not believe it is acceptable to be by yourself at any of Couples AN ammenities.

If you head over earlier in the morning the beach is pretty vacant and you can give it a try in private. Maybe go over and get right in the hot tub until you're (or she's) more comfortable with being on the beach - than pick a chair behind the beautiful sea grape tree for added privacy from people peeking as they walk along the beach.

We think the general policy at Couples is that single males are not allowed in the AN area. We were at CTI last year with another couple, and he came over to the island to visit with us when his wife was sitting on the textile beach. He was politely asked to leave by the CTI staff.

First of all, a sincere thanks to each of you for answering my post. As I stated above, my primary concern was respect and etiquette.

Looks like a solo situation would result in my denial of privileges, and I now see there's a “no solo” rule. I was honestly hoping that if I could muster the intestinal fortitude to give this a try, that I could do so at a relaxed/mature resort and not be forced to go to one of those “party” resorts . . . which will never happen, I’m little too old for that sort of thing.

Not to come of the wrong way, but from reading the many posts (not just this one), it sounds like there’s a slight problem with visits to AN beaches from "non-typical" guests, i.e. gawkers and weirdies. Is this the general case (not just at Couples, but generally speaking)? I truly understand why those who normally visit AN beaches would want to feel comfortable with those whom they’re sharing the beach with; and, I’m assuming that’s why there’s an expectation to introduce yourself and make some friends.

Here’s my point, over my many years of going to non-AN beaches, I could throw a towel on the sand next to someone I didn’t know and never say word to them for the entire day . . . and think nothing of it. However, from reading through the message board, I’m gathering that there’s a much more highly developed interpersonal culture within the AN crowd. Am I reading too much into this?

Oh well, looks like this one will be left up to the wife for the final decision.

Again, a sincere thanks.

"However, from reading through the message board, I’m gathering that there’s a much more highly developed interpersonal culture within the AN crowd. Am I reading too much into this?"

Not necessarily. It really depends on the individual and what you are comfortable with. The first time we went we interacted very, very little. Other times we have been a little more social but still not as much as some folks. It really depends on what you want to do.

As far as "problem" people. It can happen and Couples has chosen to make a rule that hopefully eleminates the "problem". Unfortunately folks like you do lose out, but the vast majority of the people that go to Couples' AN facilities prefer it this way. We go to an AN beach in Florida which has no "rules" as far as who can be there or even that you have to be naked. We don't mind the single men that go there and the ones that keep their clothes on. But we have been lucky not to have any issues. But issues do happen when it is not regulated like Couples does.

Have your wife read this message board, especially the thread on first timer's experiences. There really are honest comments on here and she can decide if she is willing to give it a try. One thing for sure if the two of you don't try it you will never know for sure if you could enjoy it. If you do try it and enjoy it great, if not you haven't lost anything.

Rambliman ~ You are over thinking this. There is lots of space at CN to be off by yourself and your spouse on the AN beach. If you feel like speaking with people, do. If you don't feel like socializing then don't. You won't be thought of negatively one way or the other. The atmosphere is very relaxed. Our experience has been that most people who want to chat will pull their chairs close to one another, and those who want to be left alone don't. Someone might walk past you and say 'hello', but they won't strike up a conversation unless you want to. I really can not stress enough how fabulous the AN beach is and how warm and welcoming everyone is without any judgment toward anyone. Get your wife on the message board and have her read the posts. I think they will help her uneasiness.

We just got back from CN and it's interesting to see the dynamics of how things work. Human nature is kind of fun.

Our first time: (Last year)

We talked about it and read the posts here before we even went to Couples. Then we, like many others we noticed, started off by floating by on our beach floatie and gave the place a bit of a look. After a couple of days the GF decided we were going. (It was my idea, but actually making the move was just a wee bit intimidating.) We snuck in the back way and spied a couple of likely chairs. Arranging towel and bag and.....okay she's already naked. Taking off the trunks the first time was a big gulp.

After a short while things settled down and then it was a great thing. What is really weird is that socializing on the main beach doesn't seem as easy as the AN beach. You can sit around the hot tub with 4 other couples and talk about cars or homes or anything and it doesn't feel weird.

Harder than 8 people in the hot tub is the first trip to the ocean. As a big strong and tough man, we're supposed to carry the floatie but you can't carry it so that it looks like you're hiding behind it so you carry it the way you hold your wife's purse at the mall when she tries on clothes.

I'd suggest talking to your wife and explaining that there are no people there who will bother you. There is security there all the time and they care for their flock like the best shepherd you could imagine. Manage your expectations. People will glance at you and you can consider it a compliment or whatever, but you MUST expect it the same as it will happen on any other beach. I think the biggest deterrence for some is feeling they won't measure up well enough. Don't worry, there are all sizes and shapes. If she's just not comfortable then that's the decision, don't make it an issue and she may surprise you.

We haven't been to CN, but do enjoy the island at CTI. There are people who sit in the pool and socialize with each other and people who only talk to their S/O (can be difficult as pool is small, but what ever). There are also those that never come to the pool, maybe the bar only and keep to themselves. We have found people more willing to socialize on the island. But that is just our observation.

We were a lot like you when we first visited CSS this past Feb. I wanted to try but was nervous and she was willing to try if I really really wanted her to try AN. Well the morning of our second day we went to the AN beach and found a somewhat secluded area. We stripped off our clothes and after an hour or so got more comfortable. By day two we were more comfortable yet and on day 3 we actually talked with people. Turns out everyone is there for the same reasons. To relax have fun and get the best tan you can! Remember this is not a swingers hangout it is just a great place to go relax and have fun as a couple. We ended up talking with a lot of different couples and everyone is very friendly to everyone not just couples with perfect bodies.

Not acceptable to go by yourself unless you have been there with your lady/man first and people can see you're part of a couple. we were just there for a week, and we only saw someone by themselves if thier signifigant other was at the spa or something for a short time. Tell her don't worry mon she'll have a great time!

Gang - again, thanks for the continued replies. I'm going to take the suggestions of many have the wife read over the message board, then let her lead the way. It would be so ironic if she did give it a try, and I turned out to be the one unable to "man-up" - Ha! We'll just have to see how it goes when we get there.

Again, thanks - great replies . . . everyone seems really down to earth, and a truly considerate bunch.

Be well.

Tell your wife to try it - trust me she will like it. I was very hestitant to go au natruel, but my husband really wanted to. So I read the message boards and got my courage up. As soon as we got to CN we hit the beach. I enjoyed it so much. I did not want to leave that beach. When I had to put my bathing suit back on I was so upset. My husband was calling me the naked police because every once in awhile a woman would be on the beach with her bathing suit bottom on and I would get mad. Most time the security guard came over and told her to strip but occassionally one would slip by. Try it, you'll like it!

We just returned from CTI 2 weeks ago. I, also was a bit reluctant, even though we had done A/N before at Couples Negril. (CN is more secluded - I was worried about CTI needing to be more "social" on the island.) Well, no worries at all. When we first got to the island, we choose a spot on the right side, my husband went to get a beverage, and when he wasn't coming back right away, I went to join him at the swim-up bar. Needless to say, we ended up moving our belongings closer to the bar and ended up having a great 5 days on the island. We met some great people, and yes, it just does feel good and free. There were some people of course that were socializing, but there were others that just kept to themselves, reading etc. All is OK.

We were first timers last week. We got there late in the day and no one was there. Gave us a chance to get comfortable. They are normal people who are comfortable with themselves and will be more the happy to talk to you.

As to singles: There was one guy there a day or two. He said to himselve, off to the side away from everyone. That told me he was being respectful and not there for unseemly reasons. So, it wasn't a problem. Guess he just wanted to work on his tan.

There for fewer than 20 people there any of the days we were there, which was all 7 days of our trip.

ramblinman, we have been to CSS 6 times and go every year, and in all that time we do not remember any singles on the AN beach. For our first AN experience, it was either both of us or neither of us, since we do everything together. On our first AN visit, we were to ourselves, but we made it fun with our ventures to the bar together for a drink, then quickly back to our spot. After several years of AN experience we still like the private spot, but we often socialize in the pool and around the pool bar. We look forward to the AN options at CSS and TI every trip with no regrets. My advice is that you both review the message boards together, and both make your attempt the second day about 9:30am, before everyone else has made their way to the AN beach.