Booked but Feeling a Wee Bit Guilty...

**DirtyBanana** · February 9th, 2011, 12:24 PM

I am so excited, just booked one week at CSA but in the back of my mind I have this nagging feeling of guilt for leaving the little one with Grandma for the week. Anyone ever feel an eensy bit bad for trying to sneak in some kid-free quality time with your significant other?

**klmurphy2005** · February 9th, 2011, 01:48 PM

Well, my kids are 13 & 16 so I say "NO". LOL But I do remember when they were little feeling guilty, but just think the time will pass quickly and the little one won't even remember the time you spent apart when they were little. I personally think all couples need some alone time. Don't feel bad! I'm sure your little one will be spoiled rotten when you get back! I think it's healthy for kids to spend some time apart from their parents. It helps them be independent and more adaptable to change. :O)

**mellypops** · February 9th, 2011, 02:15 PM

Yes i've got the guilts too for leaving my little girl, I'll be leaving her for 10 days in September. I'm gonna take my netbook and skype her though while we're away, thats if her nan can work out how to use it !!!!!

**carrie&corey** · February 9th, 2011, 02:33 PM

We left our 18 month old last year with the grandparents, and this year he's a year and a half and we're leaving him with them again. I found that I drove myself crazy with worry and guilt, but in the end he was fine. The grandparents spoil them so they can't complain too much lol! It's always worse for us than them. I miss him like crazy by day 4, but it's important to have kid-free time too!

**BruceandKelli** · February 9th, 2011, 02:35 PM

Originally Posted by DirtyBanana

I am so excited, just booked one week at CSA but in the back of my mind I have this nagging feeling of guilt for leaving the little one with Grandma for the week. Anyone ever feel an eensy bit bad for trying to sneak in some kid-free quality time with your significant other?

It wasn't until after our third trip that we stopped feeling guilty. We finally realized the grandparents love having the kids to themselves for a whole week (we live in Texas and all three sets of grandparents are in Michigan), and the kids love getting spoiled rotten. They hardly realize we're gone!

**Janeinpenn** · February 9th, 2011, 02:37 PM

Originally Posted by DirtyBanana

I am so excited, just booked one week at CSA but in the back of my mind I have this nagging feeling of guilt for leaving the little one with Grandma for the week. Anyone ever feel an eensy bit bad for trying to sneak in some kid-free quality time with your significant other?

OH heck yes. I am leaving a 9 month old home with grandma. The rest of the kids are teenagers so they do their own thing. YES its a nagging feeling but we NEED to do this, everybody I think needs that. It will be ok! When you going to CSA?

**sherrynchuck** · February 9th, 2011, 03:15 PM

I think time for just the two of you is important, parents with a healthy marriage are better equipped to be good parents. It's not something you do every week or every month and it's not a ridiculous length of time. It's a rare treat and it's good for all of you.

**dnbmccann** · February 9th, 2011, 03:15 PM

We went for 8 nights this past June for our 5 year anniversary. We left our 2 kids at home with grandma/sisters. I felt guilty and I had a hard time leaving, just because I always worry about my kids. But I am telling you, it was worth it. You will be better parents when you get back. You have to have time together to be the best parents you can be so don't feel guilty. We are pregnant with #3 and we hope to go back in a couple years. I am sure people will have their opinions on whether or not you should spend that money on yourselves, but I feel strongly that we all need that time away from our kids to bond with eachother again. It made a difference in our lives to go back after 5 years and 2 kids. We are trying our hardest to get back before our 10 year anniversary. You will go back and forth but once you get there you will feel great and be really glad you went

**Jay&Jen** · February 9th, 2011, 04:14 PM

Here's our take on this one:

Yes we feel a little bit guilty when we head off to Jamaica to be alone with each other, leaving the little one behind with the grandparents.

BUT...

First and foremost, we both feel that our family, and our relationship with each other are more important then anything else. Although it's important to do everything you can to keep your family relationships strong, it's equally important in our minds to take time to work on our relationship with each other.

This is why we take vacations together, without our kids. In this day and age, where divorce and separation is rampant, we just feel that we need to take time to work on US, so that we can be stronger together for our family. If we don't do that, then our son will never learn what it is to truly love each other, and to fight for each other in everything we do.

And of course, Couples offers the facilities and experience that is tailored to doing exactly that, cultivating your relationship so that you are a stronger COUPLE.

**Melvin76** · February 9th, 2011, 04:20 PM

This will be our second time to CSS in 75 days. Last time we left our 3 girls with Grandma, and this time too. I did feel guilty the first time, and wished I only booked 5 days until I got there. The first night was hard (my girls were 6, 4, and 2 at the time) but after that I let myself enjoy the time off and was really glad we booked 7 nights.

I'm sure I will be a bit sad when we leave again, but remember... a happy, well-rested Momma makes for a happy little one. Sometimes you just have to stop and take care of yourself. Let yourself enjoy this time and know that the little one is in the best hands, Grandma's!

And besides, absence makes the heart grow fonder....

**Pamela** · February 9th, 2011, 05:57 PM

We always feel horribly guilty about leaving our DOGS with a pet sitter. Dasher turned 15 in December; Rudy will be 14 in April and lost his sight last year. My job is home-based, so I'm home with them all day, every day, and they're very dependent upon me. Last time we returned from a vacation without them, Rudy put his head in my lap and cried. It's heartbreaking.

**dirtleg** · February 9th, 2011, 08:47 PM

Originally Posted by Janeinpenn

OH heck yes. I am leaving a 9 month old home with grandma. The rest of the kids are teenagers....

Woah! Teens to nine months? Now that must have an interesting story to go along with it.

Everyone, have a great trip to CSA! Don't worry about the kids, or feel guilty either. We are leaving our two "kids" (24 & 20 now) home alone in June. I'm not sure if that is better than leaving them with grandma, but they are both working and going to school, so I suppose we should not worry or feel too guilty.

**katielee** · February 9th, 2011, 09:25 PM

Yes, my DH and I also feel a little guilty, though for a slightly different reason! We are planning a trip in May for our ten year anniversary, leaving our 4 and 2 year old daughters with grandparents. I am a stay at home mom and am with them all the time, but I know they will have an awesome time with their grandparents. I just feel a little guilty having the grandparents do all the work, even if they are having fun! I just hope the girls are easy going! Because I have a feeling DH and I will want to go back. :-)

**Captain Jim** · February 10th, 2011, 08:30 AM

Originally Posted by carrie&corey

We left our 18 month old last year with the grandparents, and this year he's a year and a half and we're leaving him with them again. I found that I drove myself crazy with worry and guilt, but in the end he was fine. The grandparents spoil them so they can't complain too much lol! It's always worse for us than them. I miss him like crazy by day 4, but it's important to have kid-free time too!

Isn't 18 months and a year and a half the same?.....LOL

**DirtyBanana** · February 10th, 2011, 08:52 AM

Thank you so much for all your responses, I truly appreciate you taking time to share your opinions!

My husband and I are definitely in need of a little R&R and some alone time to reconnect. We love each other more than ever but I think a little of the romance has been lost and replaced by sleepless nights, dirty diapers and a little diva who loves attention

I think a week at CSA is just what the doctor ordered to give us a break from the day to day routine and let us be husband and wife for the week vice Mama and Dada. It will be nice not to be covered in mac n'cheese, applesauce or whatever else Addie decides to use me as a napkin for.

I know I'll miss her to pieces and will probably pester Grandma to death checking in but she'll be in good hands and will be spoiled like a princess.

So CSA, here we come 2-9 June...hope to see some of you there! We can drown our guilt in some dirty bananas :P

**Crabracer** · February 10th, 2011, 01:11 PM

There is no question that when we have to leave our children, especially the real young ones, we are going to miss them. But if you don't start making the seperation now, it only gets harder the older they become. And for those that have grandparents or other family members that can take care of the kids, it should be a piece of cake. You're not leaving your kids with strangers. Our first trip to Jamaica was in 1993. At that time, we had been married for about 25 years without any time away by ourselvs. And we were leaving a child with special needs, who didn't like the idea of mum and dad going away without her. Even with all the people that we had made arrangements with to care for her. And the next year when we went away again, Syd didn't like it any better the second time. But every trip we made, not only gave us confidence that she would be okay, we realized that we would also be okay.
Take the trip. Things will be okay until you get back.

Richie

**Jamerican352005** · February 10th, 2011, 01:13 PM

Guilt happens. I try to focus on the other 360 days a year I spend with my kids. That seems to remove all guilt and allow me to enjoy that time with my spouse without guilt. You are a good mom. I know this because you are on a messageboard asking for advice. Grandma did a good job raising you. Now let her enjoy her grandkid/kids. REMEMBER NO WORRIES?

**klmurphy2005** · February 10th, 2011, 03:38 PM

DirtyBanana...........your daughter is a cutie pie!!! :O)

**Jimnmariann** · February 10th, 2011, 06:16 PM

And to chime in on one more thing. Try not to be on the phone talking to the kids all the time. You two need real quality alone time. We sat near a couple on the beach every day and their phone rang non stop. The kids were calling to ask where something was located in the house or to talk about other non important things. It seemed like the parents never really got away from them.

**klmurphy2005** · February 11th, 2011, 09:35 AM

Jimnmariam........I agree with you. We keep our phones off, and we only call the kids once a day before dinner. Our family has the number to the resort so if an emergency were to happen they know how to get a hold of us. Other than that, we are not taking calls. LOL :O)

**Nick&Nora** · February 11th, 2011, 11:37 AM

We leave four kiddos (now age 5,7,8 & 11) behind with relatives. We Skype with them once a day while we are there, email them pictures and little messages, and bring back goodies for them. A funny story though, they asked me why they couldn't go with us before our first trip and I told them because there are no children where we are going. Well, after we returned we are all watching television and a "Come to Jamaica" commercial comes on and our children are like "hey, how did those kids get to go to Jamaica!" and I told them I had no idea, it must be a different part of the island.

Of course we did explain the difference, and we take many "family" vacations during the rest of the year to keep everyone happy.

**sweetlastname** · February 11th, 2011, 02:56 PM

I felt the same way! We are returning in October for our 5 year anniversary to CTI - we were married at COR in Sept 2006 and haven't been back since. We have a 2 year old, who will be turning 3 shortly after we get back.

When we went to Jamaica for our weddingmoon, we stayed 14 nights. I had to compromise at 10 nights this trip, because I was really nervous about leaving my little man that long.

I am so excited now though. I'm sure when the date gets closer I'll cry (more then my little guy, because G&G will spoil him rotten) but I also know we need this trip for our relationship, and we plan on having #2 next year, so it was now, or not for a long time.

Knowing there are other moms who are feeling the same makes me feel better

**Margi** · February 11th, 2011, 03:30 PM

I have 3 kids and ever since the first one was a baby my husband and I have gone on long weekend stays away from home or every couple years we take a week at a Couples resort. I've always thought that a strong family starts with a strong couple. In order to keep the heads of the family in tune to one another, you need that couple time. I think that is why a lot marriages fail, because parents tend to put everything as top priority, but not their marriage.

Yes, you will miss your baby, but what you are doing is keeping your union strong. That is the best thing you can do to have a happy family. Have fun.

**Chris** · February 11th, 2011, 09:24 PM

Don't want to make light of your dilemma, but...

Been there, done that, got over it... both of ours are now grown, gone, on their own, and no worse for wear...

Enjoy...