Concerns about this message board

[jamaican_junkie]

As a member of the MB since 2005, I have seen a couple of growing trends that are somewhat concerning. I would like to preface this by saying that I am bringing these issues up only for consideration with no intent of pointing fingers at any specific posters. In fact, I could point the finger at myself on occasion.

On my soapbox...

Issue #1: The slowwwwwwww posting process.
There have been days when it seems the messages are posted once per day. I realize that there may be several reasons for this, but one possible reason could be the significant increase in postings that the moderators need to peruse through. There seems to be more and more threads of a personal nature that are unrelated to the informational and "meeting up at..." purposes of the MB. I have seen plenty involving discussions between groups of friends on topics such as health, family, finances, etc. Sometimes, even just for checking up on a specific person. I would think that the MB would run much faster if these personal threads were shared privately on the many other various avenues available (email, Facebook, Twitter, etc.)

Issue #2: Rude and disrespectful posters.
Couples is so many different things to different people. But I have seen more and more snobbish comments when someone's idea of a vacation is different than the poster's. Remember...everyone has the right to enjoy their vacation however they want within Couples guidelines. There are threads where people ask a question on fact (e.g. "Can we find any late night parties", "Are there TV's to watch football", "Can wife keep her bottoms on at the AN beach") and they get bombarded with opinions on how they should spend their vacations rather than answers to their questions. There was a recent thread where someone asked about proper shoes to wear to the fancy restaurants. Even though the question was answered after the first few responses, it continued on for about another 50 responses into a slightly heated discussion about what constitutes proper stylish closed-toed footwear (which probably also contributes to issue #1 above). All I can suggest is, before you hit the "submit response" button, imagine that you are talking face-to-face with the person. That seems to help bring the humanity aspect back to a MB like this.

...off my soapbox.

Ok, who wants the conch?

[KrisJamie]

n soapbox:

Did you mean to post in the thread from the "Help and Instructions" forum that allows for suggestions?

Teasing.

Post approval isn't delayed by "personal" chatter. People make friends here. We're like a family. Are you suggesting we take the bits of personality off this board? That's what makes it special.

Regarding the second point, there was humor, suggestions for types of shoes, etc in the footwear thread. These thngs would happen face to face.

Your last sentence in paragraph two flies directly in the face of your first point.

...

[WVUGuy275]

I raise my Red Stripe to you, Junkie.

[Terri_Steve]

jamaican_junkie,
Well said! In respect to point 2, I have also found that some of the responses border on disrespectful/rude, and others are downright disrespectful/rude. Part of the problem is likely because we're communicating electronically and therefore you can't pick up on the subtleties of communication when you can't see the person you're speaking with.
In relation to point 1, I personally don't have a problem with this, but you raise a good point on why the board may be slower recently.
Cheers,
Terri

[Vee]

I'll take the conch.

1. While I agree with the fact that the posting process is slow, I for one, do not mind the personal nature of some of the threads. I like the fact that people are making friends and keeping in touch on the MB. I would add to this though: the slow posting process makes it so that when someone asks a simple question, it is likely going to be answered 15 times before the posts catch up.

Also, (and I know I'll get some heat about this one....) people don't search the MB or the FAQ prior to posting. SOOOOO many questions on this board are repeats. And not just once, but 50 times. (I have been a MB member since 2006 -- before our first trip to CSA.) I certainly don't mind answering questions for people, but da-harn. Maybe we could put a sticky at the top with a list of top 10 most posted questions:

1. weather
2. dress code
3. rooms
4. Free upgrades
5. WIFI
blah, blah, blah, etc.

2. AMEN sister. One of the things that I try to do both personally and professionally with both MB postings and email is read it back before hitting "send." Sometimes, even a nice post can come off as nasty and if you are trying for sarcasm, it's probably a good idea to put some kind of indication that it's sarcasm. When people are reading your posts, they don't know the look on your face or the tone of voice in your head.

A couple of months ago, I responded on a post where someone asked if they could get WIFI in their room, and a couple of people took it upon themselves to educate the original poster and myself that if they had to take their computer on vacation, they didn't have a life. WOW. Niiiiice. All the guy wanted to know was if he could get WIFI in his room. A simple yes or no would have sufficed.

Thanks for starting this post jamaican_junkie. I, for one, appreciate it.

[cypresspeeps]

Maybe an off topic folder is in order?

It may also help to have a sticky post with a link to the FAQ about each resort.

just a thought...

[KrisJamie]

I agree that a "top ten" list sticky would be awesome.

[Seandymon]

Hello Everyone,

I wanted to chime in here. The message board is moderated first thing in the morning, every couple of hours during the day, and also before bed at night. Have you noticed the process being slower than the old board? Because if you say yes, I would be very surprised. The old board only let us moderate 5 posts at a time, and took forever to upload. So, please expand your thoughts on posting slowness.


We, too, agree that some posts are rude in nature. We are sure that you have suddenly seen threads disappear, this is usually why. We want to allow your voices to be heard, we am not going to be parenting while we moderate, but at a certain point, if we all can't be respectful in our posts, threads will be eliminated entirely, and if we notice a trend with someone continually being rude—we will suspend their account.

Additionally, we agree that there are a handful of questions that are repeated time and time again. The original question gets approved, and then we come back in 10 minutes to moderate and there may be 15 people that have answered the same question. One option would be to only approve the first correct response to the question. What do you all think about that?

Allowing people to share personal stories and things of this nature will continue. The message board is very safe and special place for a lot of people, and many of you have become close over the years. These posts are not slowing down the moderating process, but rather bringing some people closer together.

We look forward to your responses!

[Lou]

I take up the conch.

In regards to point one, I think one of the things that sets this board apart is the feeling of belonging. I love the fact that we were able to support Lisa and her family during Jana's serious illness, as well as her triumphant return to good health. That we were able to support them in their time of need on a resort based community is great.

Point 2 is very valid. Too many times there is sniping and very catty responses to other posts. Respect for each other should be foremost. Opinions are like hands, everybody has at least one and more thought should be give to whether yours might be viewed like a slap to somebody else. It is fine to differ in opinion, but it can be expressed without the personal flaming. I was one that posted on the mentioned shoe thread, but tried, as I always do, to do so constructivley and informationaly.

Think about how your response reads before sending.

[KrisJamie]

One option would be to only approve the first correct response to the question. What do you all think about that?

This could be a slippery slope.

My suggestion would be to see if you can find the VB widget that, at the start of a new post, pulls up threads with similar titles/content. I can get with our Admin on my board and check what version of VB is required, and how he implemented it...

[drbcwp]

I would NOT be in favor of limiting responses to posts.

[Papa_Smoke]

Seandymon - and who would determine the "correct response"?

ie@ "Which resort is best for a relaxing time?"

Do you freeze responses after someone has posted "Couples Negril" or do you wait until all four resorts have been mentioned?

Very problematic, indeed!

[dirtleg]

With conch in hand, I proceed. (Nice literary reference by the way).

Speed and pace of MB updates has been an occasional topic of discussion for as long as I have been on the message board, since 2004. It seems that all can not be pleased. Patience is the best advice if you are waiting for something to show up, as I think that they are doing the best they can. The personal nature of the board is something that has evolved over the years and is one of the things that gives this particular MB its wonderful charm. It would be sorely missed if that dimension was eliminated. I suggest simply skipping over threads that seem to be of too personal a nature for your taste.

As far as attitude, or tempers, occasionally showing up, well that's just how folks are sometimes. I agree that sometimes there seems to be an intollerant or snappy answer to an innocent question. I think that some of the MB members that have been around a while have seen this come and go with the passing of time. I have seen threads disappear as a result of words becoming too heated in back and forth responses. I have to admit that I think I may have been responsible for this occuring once or twice over the years. I apologize to the moderators if this is a fact. But sometimes words can blur our judgement and we say things that probably did not need to be said, or written in this instance.

Over all this is one of the best moderated and most civil of message or comment boards on the net, in my view anyway. If you have ventured into some of the boards or comments of some sites on the web you would realize what a nice little oasis we have here.

Hang in there, try to be patient and maybe a bit more tollerant with some of us. It really is a pretty nice neighborhood we congregate in here at the Couples message board.

[MikeandMegan]

I am a moderator for a website that uses the exact same layout and format as couples. We let every post go on the site and there around a group of us that constantly combs through posts and deletes inappropriate ones. Couples seems to do the opposite and goes through the posts before and then puts up on the message board. Essentially it's the same thing except when you do it the way my site does it, you don't have to wait 3 to 4 hours to see your post. On the other hand there is a chance of an inappropriate post being up for a few minutes.

[LaurieK]

Junkie - your post is right on.

I was on the receiving end of a slightly rude comment. Not Irie.

There should be nothing but love shown on the message board!

[Crabracer]

This message board, like Couples, has a heart and soul. Individuals who post here, feel comfortable enough to reach out to one another. Never having met. When someone writes that a member of their family is quite ill, and could we send our prayers and support. We respond.
When individuals need a place to vent, they come here. To where their family is. And we respond.
When a family reaches out to complete strangers to help carry the burden of their overwhelming load that was thrust upon them. We respond. And in doing so, many, many of us were caught up in one family's terrible turmoil. A family that could have been any one of us. We all are better human beings for the wonderful sharing and support that was found here.
The time that the moderator is spending reading my post, certainly is detracting from time that could be spent with things, perhaps, more beneficial to the Couples audience.

My guess is, that more people than not would want the board to stay as it is. The verbal avenue that is available to us is so much more than "just another message board". That's like saying that Couples is "just another resort".

I do agree that there have been some sharp barbs tossed around from time to time. My feeling is, that's just a reflection of our society. I also agree that many times there are posts concerning clothes, food, what's this, what's that,yada-yada-yada. And no matter how many times people are told about the FAQ sheet, the virtual tour, where to get answers, again, I think that it's much easier for some to "just ask". Then again, maybe they don't even know that there is a "most frequently asked question" page. Or maybe they searched it, and still didn't find an answer. The point is, people are just people. Some listen. Some learn. Some don't.

I have been on the MB for a long time. I don't know exactly how long. More than a few years ago, the very same issue was raised. This board should be for "all things Couples". Not a place to find a recipe, or have to read about someones personal struggle, or put up with, what some deem, less than necessary things.

Maybe. Maybe not. If you ask ten people, you will get twenty answers. My personal feeling is that, this board does fulfill the original intent to discuss things related to Couples. To give everyone a platform to ask and be answered, to speak and be heard, without fear of any sort of retaliation or overly harsh comments. That last part, "overly harsh" is very subjective.

Okay readers. Where do you stand?

Richie

[jon1963]

Seandymon

You guys are doing a good job for the postings that you deal with everyday.
Yes, faster would be nice, but I do understand.

Maybe you need to add a forum for each resort that would allow people to post questions about that resort. This will help when someone tries to search because you will only get information about that resort. The search function can search only one forum if go advanced and pick the forum to search. The search function today works too good and comes up with too much information and is very hard to sort through it all.

I think you still need to keep the general forum for general questions.

I also think you need to show all answers/posting because sometimes others ask more questions based on the answers supplied.

As for some people not appearing to be nice all the time, I think that sometimes they are trying to be funny or just having bad day. Not much more you can do for that.

Just my Idea's.

[fabfifty]

Wholeheartedly agree with dirtleg's response.

The response time only seems slow in this hundred giga-byte, internet speed world. Couples, (indeed, this message board) is HUMAN, and that is one thing that makes them so lovable. I never have assumed that a Couples employee is hunched over an LCD, watching as the MB's messages come in. On some days, they just might not get to it. It is, after all, a wonderful "extra" that Couples provides for us.

Of course people should think before they post. Civility should rule. But folks will be themselves on the board, and that adds, rather than detracts, from its interest.

When new posters come fresh to the board and ask questions that have been asked dozens of times before, or who don't really have a clue about Couples, well, that is our chance to mentor them a bit. I like that. It's fun, and it feels good to try to help.

I do believe that totally personal threads, such as one-to-one communications, (unless someone is trying to "find" someone else they met at Couples), would be better done by private e-mail.

Thanks, Jamaican_Junkie, for encouraging discussion on these topics. It all helps us to keep things in perspective!

[jamaicaplayground]

I agree with junkie. How about just keep your sarcastic comments to yourself. People come here for information about the resort. They are paying money just like everyone else to stay at these beautiful resorts. They have a right to ask whatever they want. If you don't like their question, just move on to the next one.

"Can't we all just get along?"

[jamaicaplayground]

I am not in favor of limiting responses. I feel that if the message board can be used for friends to communicate personal stories about each other's families, etc...then we should be able to read more then one "correct" response to a question. IMHO.

[Tommywommy]

I respect all of your opinions.
My opinion is leave the message board alone.It's fine with me just the way it is.

[Snownyet]

I agree with the comments regarding rude and disrepectfull people, but the purpose of a message board is to support conversation amongst a group of people with a common interest. I suppose if someone wants their information short and to the point theres the FAQ's for that.

[Coloradojuli]

Well said dirtleg.

I've been a member since 2005 and the board seems to ebb and flow. I really enjoy the personal touch to the board and sometimes the same question being asked over and over again annoys me, but I just skip over those threads and head on down the page to something that interests me.

Seandymon, you are doing a great job. Thanks for all you do for the message board.

[Margi]

Let's all relax and enjoy the message board. As in life you will come across rude people. You will also come across lots of useless information. That is life. Go with the flow. Use the message board for what you want out of it and otherwise, browse on by.....

[Wally]

Seandymon,

I have been seeing only 1 or 2 updates per day during the week and maybe 1 or 2 all weekend. During the week (this week) I see one about 8:00 AM CDT where "hundreds" of posts hit the board. So many that the same question in answered 15 or 20 times all in one shot. Some of the new ones are shoved so far down the page that they probably don't get seen by very many people. Maybe you guys are updating more often than that, but they are not hitting the message board. When I get up in the mornings and check the board (about 7:30 AM CDT), there have been no new updates since before 1:00 PM the day before. Do you guys actually look at the message board to see if the updates are being done? Or do you just process the emails from the message board and then submit the upload process? The old message board used to update several times per day!

Wally