Couples Massage Question (CSS)

[kiki23]

This will be our 3rd time to CSS, but so far I still have been unable to convince my significant other to join me for our couples massage. I know it's fantastic and relaxing, but I am looking for suggestions (maybe from the men?) as to how to make it more appealing to him. Our brand of romance isn't real cute-n-cuddly, and I don't believe in the guilt trip approach, but I am sure he would enjoy the experience, so I need some help!

124 days and counting!

[Daire]

What are his reasons for not wanting a massage?

[NeedBlueWater]

Funny, last trip to CSA, we overheard a woman at the spa making a reservation for herself and her husband. She told the spa employee to make sure everyone knew to "call it nothing else except a 'SPORTS MASSAGE' or my husband will get up in the middle and leave." I guess sometimes we have to go to the little white lies.

[rjammin]

What are his reasons for not wanting a massage?

Daire, I'm not sure you'll get an answer from any guys on that question. I had my first massage at CN back in 2004 and get at least one every time we go to Couples (every year). I'm a 6'4, 230 pound guy who has been a jock my whole life. At first, to me, it wasn't a "macho" thing, only women get a massage. Kinda like getting your nails & hair done thing. How stupid is that? All athletes get them on a regular basis from some muscle bound guy in the training room. When the subject has come up between myself and my friends, I would have to say at least 70% have said they never had a massage and will never do it. When asked why, they have no answer. I have my own theories but I'll keep those to myself. I (and the others that have had one) always tell them that they don't know what their missing. There is no describing having a hot rock massage in the hut on the cliff at CSS listening to the waves. I usually try to get one in the first couple of days we arrive. I work at a very stressful job and it's amazing how relaxed I "finally" feel after that.
As far as the couples massage, it really doesn't appeal to my wife. She's not sure why either. I always enjoyed the couples massage but, after trying it a couple of times, we skip it now and just waste the free ones we always get from the Romance Rewards. She always gets a massage when we go but it's not with me in the room. I quit pushing the issue years ago out of love & respect of her. As long as I get my massage(s) at couples, it's all Irie!
CN in 178 days!!!!

[Mestralle]

My husband and I are definitely not the "cute and cuddly" couple you describe, either, and he initially wasn't too keen on the idea of a massage, but now that's one of the things he most looks forward to.

Without knowing your husband, I can't know what approach would best work. I think the sports massage idea is a great one. Another one that may work if he's frugal (and in some ways, who isn't in this economy?) is to remind him that it's already "paid for" and shouldn't go to waste. Or you could bring it up while talking to other couples: In my experience, most guests have availed themselves of the spa services, and I don't know anybody who doesn't think it fabulous, man or woman.

I guess I'm also confused at his reluctance. Not to sound indelicate, but if he's afraid of "showing appreciation" to another person massaging him, you could mention that he'll only be lying on his stomach in front of the masseuse (unless you get the 90-minute massage, I believe).

Did you take advantage of any of the specials where you get spa credits? If you did, I guess you could look at his refusal as a blessing in disguise: Last year, my husband and I fought tooth and nail and resorted to all sorts of bribery and trickery to use them for ourselves.

[kiki23]

It's not something he would regularly go do, even at home. Mostly it's because the idea of a massage seems a little "touchy-feely", which on one hand, that's the whole point, but on the other massages aren't just for the ladies either. I think the "sports massage" approach just might work! Thanks!

[river]

I got one with my wife last year and it was so relaxing.

[schwarz]

Make sure it is a masseuse and not a masseur - for some guys having another guy massage them would NOT be cool.

[Barren]

I had my first massage at CTI last year when I was there with my girlfriend, now fiance. She had been there before, so we got the romance rewards free couples massage.. I believe it was 30 minutes. It was the first time I ever had more than just a shoulder massage from a professional and it was amazing! I wasn't too concerned whether it was a male or female, but it ended up being a girl, and actually, I don't recall seeing any of the spa staff being male. Anyways, so we did the couples massage, both of us getting a massage in the same room and it was a good time... VERY relaxing. I wish my fiance and I had discussed extending it because it was awesome, I could have laid there for hours.

And definitely, no issues with "excitement" that I recall.

I'm not sure how to convince him to go there but it feels wonderful!

[jjprescott]

I may be missing something here. My wife and I always get a 'couples massage' (two masseuse) and it is fine. There is no 'cross touching' or anything that anyone would seem to have a problem with. It is two massages taken at the same time. Did we book the wrong thing? Should we be on the same table? Sorry, I don't see the problem.

[sblovin]

*snort* I love this conversation. My husband does NOT like massages because he is uncomfortable being touched by someone else. Also, he is so tense and so tight that massages are very painful for him.

However, since we were in Jamaica...he had one. He enjoyed it. He had had one prior to going, back in the states, and he noticed (as I already knew) that the draping laws are a bit different. In America you are draped more than you are in Jamaica. However, he was with me next to him and that made him more comfortable. He had a woman (I have never seen a man work at the spa, but I've only been to CTI once) and he enjoyed it. He was a little shocked because she was uhummmm..."up in his junk" when massaging. Again, that's the whole "draping" laws that are different and I think her fast, powerful hands might have touched the boys a little bit... However, he was super relaxed and was able to get through it knowing that he would feel better, in the long run.

He also got pretty burnt and ended up having an aloe wrap while I had a mud wrap. Now that was an experience that he wouldn't do again, unless he needed to!

[jon1963]

Ask him again when you book it, I go with my wife at CTI, she likes the massage. I do not think it relaxing, must be a guy thing.

[jamie&penny]

Kiki23,

Tell your husband I am 58 years old grumpy old guy and got my first massage last year at CTI. I wish I started long ago. That being said I do not get massages here in the states but I do a lot of things in Jamaica that I don't do here. Tell him to give it a try and if he does not like it go to the bar and get a drink and put it on my tab.

[jhs]

I take it that the "draping laws" are "how much towel coverage"? My wife and I are going to try the massages also. What types of massages do they offer? or is just different lengths of the same. yup as we get older the massages tend to be more appreciated to help straighten out the sore / tired muscles. Didn't need them when I was younger. Even in my varsity days.

[coffeekitty]

I am going for my honeymoon and all I had to tell him was "It's Free" lol...but he isn't as psyched about it as i am. oh well. more money for me to spend at the spa if he isn't interested.

[Questor]

Umm. Can one of the parties just get a double? We're eligible, but it's just not for me. The GF might enjoy the extended time though.


What reason. Not really sure, but there are some things you don't pay for ....or have done by a professional. This IMHO is one of them.

[KarenON]

Questor - Oh, my friend, I feel so sorry for you!! You do not know what you are missing out on!!! It is a wonderful feeling, and also romantic, as you are being soothed by the sound of the waves below, as you and your GF experience an oh so relaxing massage together! Karen and I always upgrade to a rolling stone massage, it is absolutely wonderful!!!

[NeedBlueWater]

Umm. Can one of the parties just get a double? We're eligible, but it's just not for me. The GF might enjoy the extended time though.

QUestor:

This is NOT an option. See this related thread:

http://couplesjamaica.biz/mb/showthread.php?t=10600

[HAWGFAN]

Well I am a female. I would not get a massage if you paid me to. Mine is I can't stand to be touched. If its not a family member I don't want to be touched by anyone. So I can completly understand not getting a message. My husband uses our repeaters message and I drink at the bar. He thinks I am crazy.

[LisaPat]

Allow me to say(in the most appropriate way)...what seems to be skirted by everyone else....why would guys not WANT to get a message?...could it be that it might feel so good that it could become "embarrassing" for him?...and that...compounded w/ the fact that he may not want his wife seeing what a strangers touch might do? ....Get over it!! ..as long as you ladies don't get the wrong idea...it's as natural as anything...heck, it even happens to babies.I think it's for this reason alone that they have you lay on your stomach 1st, so no one hurts themselves..LOL

[iriesue]

Hurray.. I have been trying to convince my husband to try a massage for years as he has a bad back. I mentioned the Perk to him and he was reluctant. Then I told him if he doesn't use it, we lose it. He said he would give it a try because he doesn't want to lose a perk. Hurray. I hope he enjoys it because we are doing a split trip and he gets it twice.