I just read a new review on Trip Advisor that has literally left me with a sore stomach from laughing! The reviewer gave the resort 4 stars out of 5 but the comments are priceless. It is entitled " Service at an Arm's Distance." It is written by a doctor. For those of you that don't want to read the entire thing, here are the highlights:
This couple do not drink alcohol and he states that it cost extra to have his mini bar restocked with more non alcoholic beverages. Really?
The entertainment was too loud ( he could hear it from his room)
The entertainment was not conducive to dancing.
The entertainment, if it were conducive to dancing, would have been great for in room dancing. WHAT?
The portion sizes were too small. His orange juice was no more than 120cc's! Really Doc? I always prefer more cc's too.
The water served at Cassanova was "nearly ambient temperature."
The resort should have informed him prior to arrival that they had in room wifi.
He loved the property but the spas, pools and ponds were "inexplicably closed at night with very poor lighting!"
The Couples lounge at the airport was "disorganized and wasteful" especially for non drinkers.
The rooms do not conform to ADA standards due to uneven tile.
(Isn't the ADA the American Dental Association?)
Only a few rooms have jacuzzis and you should ask when making reservations. (no kidding)
The showers accommodate 2 but "in a minimalistic way." HUH?
Check out is like "herding." "Everyone goes to the airport whether they need to or not." - I swear this is a quote, I could't make this up!)
He suggests "a shortened and more controllable segment from resort to plane would be appreciated." It took too long for him to get home.
Reviews like this are the reason so many of us answer questions on this board and on other sites. I cannot imagine going anywhere without doing my research first. It's half the fun!