Fear of flying...anyone? Raise hands kids...who's with me?

[Asheville NC]

All right...it takes a LOT to get me on board an airplane. I'll admit it. My mother-in-law has to supply me with some "airplane pills". It doesn't hurt to have a daybreak cocktail to get things soft for me.
I'm a mess in the air. I don't like it cuz I don't know if everything is cool. "That bump...that waggle...we still OK?" I am a terrible passenger in a car...if I drive then ...I'm cool. If I'M in control...no worries mon.
So here I am...staring down the barrel of another 2-flight (each way) trip back home (to CN) in about 80 days.
And don't mess around...I AM going. There's no "if this" or "if that"...DADDY'S GOING HOME kids, just don't u worry.
So I've downloaded the app on my iPhone from SOAR. It's groovy. But...when push comes to shove...is this little app going to help me? HELP me? Really?
So...is anyone where I am with this flying business? More to the point, does anyone have any good cures for me? Tried anything that helped?
ANY input here would be remarkably helpful. Your help would most likely earn you a souvenir from Negril (and I'd write a profoundly fancy haiku on it and send it to ya)

[STB42002]

You sound just like me. My advice: check out the website Fear of Flying. Gave me valuable insight into various kinds of turbulence and different sounds the plane makes when turning, speeding up and slowing down. It helped me . . . Plus some Xanax!

[Wally]

Oxycodone!

[warren.cple]

Well, I'll be honest I'm not afraid of flying. I'll admit the first time I went anywhere in a plane, I was a bit nervous, and the landing startled the HECK out of me, but since then for the most part I'm OK.

Generally the two worst points during a flight, I think, are the takeoff and landing. For me, being a geek, I technical-ize the whole thing. When the plane is going down the runway, and the nose lifts up, I'm thinking to myself "rotate." Once the plane is in the air, and I hear the gear going up I'm thinking to myself "gear up." Landing is pretty much the same thing, only in reverse.

I suppose one thing to keep in mind, is that statistically, flying is safer then driving or walking somewhere...

Jason

[MeandT]

Hello Asheville! My Mom lives near you (Flat Rock) so I know your airport well. I'm kind of the opposite of you, have had years of flying 250K miles/year for work. Have had very nervous fliers sit next to me, and have told them "watch me. If I'm not looking worried, then YOU don't need to look worried. You can ask me what the noises are if you like." So, since I won't be able to sit next to you this trip, see if maybe the person next to you flies a lot. Watch their reactions. Watch the flight crew. If no one else is looking worried, it's all good. Believe me, even though flight crew are well trained, they aren't used to REAL emergencies (just drills), and would look worried if there was one. I won't say I've never been a bit on-edge in the years I've been flying, but it has been rare and all worked out fine each time. I am in no way trying to minimise your feelings - I was nervous as anything on my first few flights!

Maybe on your phone load up some great photos of your "home" beach. Flick through them and focus on your destination. On your music player, load up a bunch of music that keeps you happy. Consider using Rescue Remedy (herbal anti-stress drops), available at the pharmacy. Start using it at home a few weeks before going, in a safe situation, to "program" your brain. Ditto with scent - our brains are very tuned to scent. So if putting on your favourite tanning lotion calms you, put a little bottle of it in your carry-on and put it on your hands/arms on the plane. Breathe deep! Or if you don't like the tanning lotion idea, try calming essential oils (lavender, etc). Origins has some good ones for sleep and stress relief (the blue oil). May all sound a bit "hippy-dippy" but some of this stuff can help. I use the essential oils to help me get over jet lag - use the "sleep oil" for a few weeks at home as I go to bed. Get to destination, use same routine, and it helps me wind down despite a 5+ hour time difference.

You're strong, and you have a GREAT reward at the end of your flight!!!

[dnbmccann]

I have no suggestions, I just know I have the same problem!! LOL Not a fan of flying AT ALL. I have to have a seriously tight hold on my hubby the entire time. My jack and cokes help me a lot too

[Melvin76]

Oxycodone!

or hydrocodone

In all seriousness, I feel your pain. I'm the same way, but found that flying with my honey helps me relax. If we're going down, at least we're going together! I suppose that doesn't make you feel better, eh... ok, well, a drink or two helps. Headphones helps. Gum helps. And focusing on where you are going helps.

Good luck and enjoy your time at CN!

[Vee]

Two things that helped me a lot (other than xanax....)

1. Breathing. When we become scared, we tend to hold our breath. Which increases our anxiety. When I start to freak out on the plane, I take long, slow, deep breaths.
2. I have a friend who is a pilot. One thing that he told me is that turbulence in the air is just like driving on a bumpy road at home. You pay a little more attention, and maybe drive a bit slower, but inherently, it's not more dangerous. Pilots do the same thing. They pay better attention and might actually slow down a bit, but it's not more dangerous... Just bumpy. So when we hit turbulence, I just tell myself "bumpy road, bumpy road." and that helps too.

Oh, and did I mention xanax?? Good luck.

[Crabracer]

Can I assume that you will be flying to Jamaica? If so, just keep thinking about where you are going. There are a lot of things that frighten us. Surgery is no picnic, but the end result usually makes us feel a lot better. Fear and apprehension feed on themselves and take things way to war to the extreme. The destination is defiantly worth the aggravation. And there are meds that can help you too.

[Patrice&Kevin]

All I can tell you is that as a Private Pilot, airplanes just don't fall out of the sky. Relax and enjoy. The people flying that fast little tube through the air want to get there as safely as you do.

[tcberry]

I have a HUGE issue with flying. The take off and landing do not bother me, but the plane turning in the air does.
Noone seems to understand this The only thing that helps me is Adivan and wine That sets the mood
to land in Jamaica too. The way I will get through it this July is imagine the sand in my toes....its worth it

[MeandT]

BTW, you can try and guess which branch of the military a pilot was in by his landing. If he/she floats the plane in , lands gently, and takes the full runway = likely Air Force (used to landing on proper runways). If he/she slaps the plane down and stops quickly = Navy (used to landing on aircraft carriers).

[faraway]

I feel for you Asheville. I was just like you years ago, a mess in the air! I have since found the more I fly the easier it gets.

Planes do make strange noises, and sometimes bump a bit. I think MeandT is right, if no-one else looks worried, then sit back and relax. Do you have Fear of flying courses in the US? Taking one might be useful in order to understand all the quirks of an aircraft.

Personally I download some nice sounds to listen to, including the sound of the sea, and tree frogs. Sit back, close your eyes and let the sounds drift over you, knowing that in a few hours you'll be in paradise.

[Nanmac1]

I, too, have always been afraid of flying. This past year, my first trip to Jamaica and Couples, I finally asked the doc for something to ease my anxiety. I did not want to be a blithering mess heading to my ultimate destination! Ativan was prescribed and worked wonders! I was not all gorked out from it, arrived happy and ready to start my 20th Anniversary trip!

[mgraulie]

My husband is like you...wants to be in control. A couple of Bloodies at the airport seems to help!

[MnK]

I never liked flying. Then after 9-11 I became petrified...and I had to fly quite a bit for my job (in and out of DC, too). At first, medication was helpful. I found the more I did it, the better I was. Now I think very little of it, total pro.

I think immersing myself in some other activitity (work, a good book, a movie, a game) helped alot. Anything to get me out of my head and focused into something else.

I do remember flying to Hawaii for my honeymoon. We were traveling with my hubby's best friend and his wife. He was a helicopter pilot for the Coast Guard. She flew Hornets for the Marines. They were sitting directly behind us. Whenever there was a sound or slight turbulunece, they would say, "That doesn't seem right, does it. I never felt that before, etc." Ha ha ha...they were so friggin funny. It actually put me at ease after awhile.

Good luck! Between the pills, the cocktail, and the app...you'll be fine. Throw in some humor and remember where you are headed!!!!

[jayb]

i would recommend music and some pictures in your hand of jamaica. hopefully this will ease your mind and help you relax.

[zaraforty]

It was told to watch the fligth attendants, if they don't look worried all is well.

[Beach-bum]

Don’t worry. It’s not like your flying over Cuba or anything. Oh, I guess you could be. I always look for those surface to air missiles.

Life is good

[Asheville NC]

Thank you all so much for the advice. My SOAR app strongly advises against ANY anti-anxiety medication. I don't care for pills that make me feel loopy anyway so I'm leaning toward taking this advice. In lieu of this decision, I'm wanting several good techniques at hand for coping. Many of your suggestions are excellent and I will use them.
I LOVE the idea of putting suntan lotion on me to smell while on the way. I am TOTALLY doing that! Smells are so powerful for me too.
Thanks again so much, Y'all

[zaraforty]

I love the part when you fly over Cuba, because you know your almost there. YAY.
From Detroit you always fly over Cuba.

[Carla Lee]

I am horribly petrified to fly. I drive 12 hours to visit my sister instead of flying. But I know the only way to get to my favorite place in the world is to fly, so I fly. I also get nauseous when I fly, so I can't drink because I would totally be sick. I tried Xanax the first time but I was so loopy the first day it was not good. So now I suck it up, take dramamine, pray, watch movies and every once in awhile I may cry for no reason but that is getting better.

Carla

[Patrice&Kevin]

I love the part when you fly over Cuba, because you know your almost there. YAY.
From Detroit you always fly over Cuba.

I remember just tooling along last year and looking out the window and I was like , Hey, that's Miami! We literally flew over the top of Miami so we had to have flown over Cuba as well. From what I remember of the plane ride it was only one drink(because the airplane was out ot booze)from Miami to MB. 5:00 AM flight on Saturday morning can't come soon enough.

[Patty]

It's not the Flying i am afraid of IT'S THE CRASHING that worries me.
But i still love Air Crash Investigation watch is all the time.
Having a good pilot seems to be a key, as your American "were going to be in the Hudson" Pilot showed.
Very good and brave Pilot
Having said all this i still do not like flying but i go, just to get to Couple and a few G & T's do help
see everybody in June!!

[shellyb]

We just got back from CN a week ago. I suffer from anxiety and being stuck on a bumpy airplane tops my list for panic attack situations. I did take a low dose of Xanax before each flight just so it could be more enjoyable. It doesnt take make me feel loopy or out of it. It just helps me calm down. We had some really rough flights and it helped looking through pictures on my iPad of our son and family. Also helped to read and watch a movie to help pass the time. Good luck! It will be worth it!