Frustrated and dont know what to do!

[MnK]

Sounds like a crappy employer. I'd fix that first.

Sublimebrad summed it up nicely. And I have to agree with others about not doing anything to put his job in jeopardy. I am a boss... my employees don't have to ask permission to take vacation, just make me aware and ensure work isn't impacted. All in all, I try to be one of those empowering, stay-out-of-their-way-and-let-them-do-great-work leaders. BUT...lying makes me insane. It takes away the trust and hurts the entire team. And I do think it is grounds for termination. Integrity is important in all areas of life. Encourage your hubby to do the right thing...and support him in efforts to find a better employer who is more supportive and accommodating.

And like others have said, Couples is very accommodating and you can move your dates.

Good luck!! And I'm sorry you've been put in such an icky situation during one of the happiest times of your life.

[jacksalliecat]

Sadly, you're at the mercy of an employers' policy...with that said...I can't imagine that he won't be able to get any time off sometime after the wedding.....So, check with his employer to see when he can get approval and then plan to go then.....It's OK to not go on a honeymoon immediately after you're married....you can always book a couple nights after the wedding at a lovely bed and breakfast and enjoy the moments after becoming husband and wife.....then you get to anticpate a wonderful honeymoon/vacation.....patience.......imagine being the couple that can't afford such a thing.....patience...good things come to those who wait!

[cigarmanpa]

hope he has another job lined up for when he gets fired

[MsKayla5]

Here is the situation. I cant really say where he works. He doesn't want me to say just in case someone does see this. But, at his job they have to put there vacation time in a year in advance. Since he doesnt have that much seniority people above got the week off instead of him. But, he will be going to his senior manager this week if he cant work with him hes going to to higher up. Plus, his manager knows the situation and knows that he is trying to do whatever he can to get it off. She also knows that if he doesnt get it off the right way off that he will be using his sick days so she knows that hes not going to be there. The reason why he gets written up is because of where he works it goes against your attendance thats the only reason he would get written up. also what is frustrating is that his manager is not working with him in the situation he had to go someone and ask for them to change their vacation time. Which the guy agreed because he understands that its his honeymoon then she went and said well if I let you switch with someone then Ill have to let others do it. Why would anyone need to know and plus if someone was willing to give trade with him then he should of gotten. But, I have had family members who have worked for this company and they said that more than likely his senior manager will work with him to get it off.

I agree that a job is more important than a honeymoon. I understand that we can put it off. But, we dont know when we could change the date to due his work year is May to May and not January to January. So if we do change it to a few weeks later he cant ask for that time off until next May. We dont want purchase the flight and then he get denied again. Its just a very difficult situation. We are doing everything that we can think of to work this out. I am not in no way making this a priority over his job. We have been looking forward to our wedding and honeymoon for over a year now and we just want it to work out the way we planned.

We do know that no matter what, we are still getting married and that we love each other and that we are in the together for the best.

I appreciate all of your advice! Thanks!

[wileeandrr]

Having a job allows for vacations at Couples...Sorry,but I would not try to mess with work.

Hugs

ita!

[lowelyisland]

Is there another option, such as taking a few days 'unpaid leave'? I would definitely not call in 'sick', unless I actually *was* sick.

I can understand if there are operational challenges presented at the job, they may not want to grant vacation time, but I would expect they give unpaid leave, which would allow them to backfill your position.

[Blondie]

I am very confused. I understand that he might have to put in for his vacation a year in advance, my husband's company works that way as well. But if one of his employees puts in for a certain week or certain time and can't get it, they can go back and try for another week. To say that he has to wait until next May to put in for a different week makes no sense at all.

I know a honeymoon seems like it is the most important thing in the world, but trust me, his job is much more important and when you finally do get to take a honeymoon you will enjoy it that much more knowing that he will not be putting his job in jepordy.

As for what you have already paid to Couples, that is not an issue, their policy is a full refund if you are more then 45 days from arrival. You are well within that range.

[gonegril]

I'm so hoping you'll appreciate the advice given by people who are saying "don't mess with your job!" Although things are looking up, we're still in a recession in most segments of our economy, and even if your future husband theoretically "can" use his sick time and only suffer a "writing up," please consider that this write up could be the first nail in his work coffin. I know that's pretty harsh wording, but honestly, most people DON'T want to put themselves in a position for being considered disloyal and being the first person on the lay-off list....Honestly, I'd see about scheduling a shorter vacation at Couples - maybe 7 days or something? Please try to seek a compromise between you and your husband before he does something that might jeopardize your financial future....Or not....after all, it IS your life....Good luck!

[sallytee]

sounds like a bit of poor planning if your hubby to bee scheduling is so tight maybe you should have him lock in a week first then schedule everything around that

[Jagar]

Remember even the newly married Prince and Princess had to postpone their honeymoon because he couldn't get leave from his job either. It will be ok, you are in love and will Mr. & Mrs. no matter where in the world you are. Jamaica will be there waiting for you whenever you finally make the trip.

[MsKayla5]

Thank you all for the great help you have been and for the reminder of no matter what we will be married and not jeopardize our furture.
I wanted you all to know that he talked to his boss about the situation and his concern. His boss is giving him the vacation time off! So, it all worked out and we can go on our honeymoon as planned.
Now we can't wait til next May!

[TravelBug]

Although this is really awful and it's so frustrating, your fiance shouldn't jeopardize his job or professional reputation.

Companies have policies in place for a reason and if they do bend the rules for one person, the policies become meaningless. Depending on whether or not the company is unionized, this can also trigger greviances. To circumvent policies by calling in sick when a person isn't really sick is unfair to the company and to the other employees. If your fiance does this, he could certainly permanently damage his relationship and reputation with management which could affect his long term goals, such as eligibility for promotion or other benefits.

For example, my father's supervisor didn't see eye to eye with him, and I understand they had a few "exchanges" and "bumps" over the years. A few years before my father's retirement, the company ended up closing due to market conditions and it was up to the supervisor to decide/recommend whether my father would receive a buy-out package. He didn't get one. Retirement could be very different for my father right now had his supervisor recommended he receive a package. $200,000 extra towards retirement would have allowed him to buy a place down south and be a snowbird in the winter. Not only could he not find another decent job because of his age, he missed out on this package which is very sad.

The company knows how your fiance feels about his vacation application being rejected and it is good that your fiance communicated his disappointment. They obviously can see how important this is to him when he's trying every possible route to be granted the time away from work. Your fiance must feel very undervalued and oppressed! Your fiance can try to go further up the "food chain" and hopefully a senior manager can do something to help him out. However, remember that to do something underhanded to get what you want can have consequences that are not obvious or important at this time.

I chuckled over the prince/princess comment in the one post, that even they had to postpone their honeymoon because of the prince's obligations with the military. It's so true! Sometimes life's obligations get in the way of what is "supposed" to happen when you get married. We get caught up in the emotion and yes, you deserve a fabulous honeymoon celebration right after the wedding. But if it's just not possible, you have to be flexible and understanding and let your fiance know this and that you support him. Together, come up with a plan, and schedule the honeymoon for another time when your fiance can receive the approval for the vacation time you need. Your fiance may be feeding off of your reaction and may be trying everything possible to keep you happy and not have anything overshadow the joyous occasion of your marriage.

Your fiance can job hunt for a new job in the meantime if he wishes and maybe things will work out so you can have a honeymoon sooner rather than later if he finds new employment that offers good pay and a more flexible vacation policy!

[Ruthjfj]

If its any consolation, Prince William could not get time off for his honeymoon straight after his wedding last month and had to go back in to work for a few weeks first. I am not sure I completely believe there weren't other factors but as this what was formally announced by the UK royals, it is a good line to share when people query your changing plans if you don't want to badmouth his employers.

[jacksalliecat]

SWEET!!! Things always seem to work themselves out!!! Happy planning!!!

[Sublimebrad]

I booked a trip several years ago tha I ended up canceling for different reasons but I had just started with a company after I booked the trip. I didn't have the vacation to take so they were gonna let me take off without pay and then I could make hours up the week before and after. Not sure what kinda job he has or if this is an option. I'd start looking for a new job or cancel the trip.

[mainesunlover]

Do what you want to do and let the chips fall where they will

[Spiff542]

It will cost you absolutely nothing to look for a new job. Worst thing that can happen is that you do not find one. My limited experience has been that I always find a better one. Even in a bad economy. I left a " safe " job in September of 2009 after 12 years with that company, simply because I thought the company had lost it's way. Best decision I ever made.

Lying to get time off, can however cost you quite dearly. Once your integrity is lost, you can never really get it back.

[Vee]

Just a thought.... We ended up having to reschedule our ENTIRE WEDDING 4 months beforehand. We had ordered invitations, planned flowers, etc. To make things worse, we had planned on a "holiday themed" wedding (right before Christmas) and at that short notice could not get a location during December. We ended up rescheduling for January. It was a royal pain in the patootie, however, 12 years later, it ended up being OK after all. Could you possibly move the entire wedding back a few weeks in May or April so that you CAN go on your honeymoon? You still have a year after all..... Again, just my .02, for what it's worth.

[vacationman]

Call in each day with a case of anal glaucoma...you know, where you can't see your a$$ going to work!

[doncindy]

I say delay it if you can. His boss already knows the days he has requested off. If he risks using sick time for those days, his unreasonable boss (we know this right?) surely would hand down a more severe penalty... he may deem it insubordination, which will get you fired from most jobs. Could you really enjoy yourselves with that hanging over your head? Go with no worries and come back with great memories. Good luck!

[KrisJamie]

It wasn't our wedding, but we had to forgo our annual trip for our Oct anniversary last year because of my responsibilities. CTI was just as beautiful in Sept, and I'm still securely employed.

Sometimes, you have to sacrifice for your future/present.