How to say No Thank You

[marleymom]

My husband and I are naturally social and have met some wonderful people while vacationing at Couples Resorts. We have enjoyed their company through out the day and inevitably, we are asked to join them for dinner. It always appears to be an awkward situation if we say No Thank You, so we end up spending dinner time with others when we would prefer to dine alone and rehash the day. Without appearing snobbish or rude, any suggestions on how to decline? Thank You

[Daire]

Anyone who is staying at Couples should understand if you simply say that you prefer dinner to be just the two of you.

[caviargal]

You could thank them and tell them you have a romantic evening planned with just the two of you. Perhaps suggest meeting for a drink before or after.

[scottnkim]

Oh we cant tonight... we had a romantic dinner for two planned then you can say we can meet up after...

[katielee]

Perhaps you could just say, "Thanks so much, but night time is our "Couples" time!" Then change the subject to something else as fast as possible so it's not awkward.

[Vee]

Try this: "Thank you so much for your offer. You are very kind. We actually have a little family rule that our dinners at Couples are only the two of us, since we get so little alone time at home. We'd love to meet you for lunch/drinks/snorkeling/fill in the blank tomorrow, though."

We have that same rule at Couples, and it's worked very well for us. The only exception to that is the repeaters' dinner and the beach party.

[Ian and Vanda]

Hi
We meet lots of people each day at Couples especially other divers, however we don't get asked to join them for dinner.
The reason I'm sure is my personality. I'm always "playing the fool" - it comes naturally for me. This can be very irritating for others, so consequently we don't get invited to share dinner.
My advice - practice hanging your spoon on your nose, and always carry a water pistol - the invites will quickly dry up.
Hope this helps.
Ian (and Vanda)

[grayturtless]

Great question. I also am anxious to hear people's responses.

[Bearso]

No thank you, we want to spend some quality alone time together tonight. Simple as that.

[sstobbe]

Maybe just tell them you already have dinner reservations/plans and you would prefer not to change them.

[Jamerican352005]

You tell them, "we loved spending the day with you but tonight we are going to have some alone time and fall in love all over again. Hope to socialize with you all tomorrow." WORKS EVERYTIME No worries mon

[E2AV8tor]

The truth sometimes works the best. Most couples go to Couples Resorts to spend a romantic week with their spouses. So, you can always politely decline a dinner invitation and tell the other couple that dinner is your vacation private time, and perhaps suggest that you meet them for drinks after dinner at the bar.

[Spiff542]

Just tell them the truth..

"I'm sorry, but we are really looking forward to having dinner with just the two of us tonight. Its a romantic vacation for us."

I doubt anyone will be offended.

[Jimnmariann]

This has happened to us.Have dinner with them one night and after that just say you're not sure what you're going to do for dinner.

[rae_Dave]

Nothing wrong with just a heartfelt "Oh, THANK you, but we always reserve our dinners for just us. You understand...the Couples thing and all?!" We have very good friends we meet up with every year and except for once or twice the whole week, we all meet up for pre-dinner cocktails and then go our separate ways. Sometimes, we gather again afterwards for the show.

No one takes offense!

[islandgirl]

Simply say, "While we have enjoyed our day with you today, we have promised each other to spend evenings alone". If they are at Couples, I am sure they will understand.

[Sublimebrad]

Tell then you already have reservations or are thinking about checking out another place to eat. We had that happen to us and since it was our honeymoon we didn't want to do it. We usually just said that we had eaten there the night before an wanted to try someplace else.

[Coloradojuli]

I think this question should go both ways. We enjoy meeting people during the day and sometimes at night will ask them to join us. But we always phrase it that we would enjoy having dinner with them unless they have other plans. It gives them a way out. So...if you are the one asking the question, remember to always give the other party a way out.

[dirtleg]

We have some very dear friends with whom we have shared our last 4 trips to CSA. In fact we met them at CSA and actually live live very far apart. On the first trip we had almost every dinner together for the week we were there, almost. We, and they, had no problem with declaring a couple of evenings to be "couple" only time. We parted at the end of the day and would meet up again the next day at some unplanned point. In subsequent years we have met up at CSA and shared vacations together, again with no qualms about asking for an evening or two, or afternoons for that matter, as just couples.

I think that most people at Couples "get it" and would have no problem with allowing you to bow out for the evening.

Side note: We have gone to dinner as a couple on several occasions and in the course of the evening would strike up a conversation with the couple at the next table, or two (mrs. dirtleg is very sociable). We wound up pushing our tables together, even at Feathers, and having dinner with new friends. Not the usual, but it has happened. Couples is a great place to meet new people and still allow each other all the "alone" time you need.

[marleymom]

Thank You all for your sincere helpful hints- my husband if presently praticing the spoon on the nose trick, while I'm memorizing a polite Thank You but...!

[EricnDiane]

We usually meet with our friends for dinner and have one or two nights to enjoy each other over a romantic dinner. We realize at the end of our vacation that by having such a good time with friends, we missed our opportunity to have the romantic times we wanted to have as well. This year we will reverse our typical routine and have a few dinners with friends and more dinners by ourselves. After dinner, it's time to party again. This thread gave us food for thought and will be our mantra. Thanks.

[KrisJamie]

We have dined with other couples once in 7 trips (a week + each). I think everyone understands the reason we go.

Well, maybe not the rowdy group of 10-20 that had waaay too much to drink...

[Deet1114]

HAHAHA Ian!!!
Annoying people with squirt guns!!

I remember someone with a squirt gun get hosed down by the dive shop!!

And we didn't find you at all annoying either

Mel and Tom

[Justdiane]

Well Eric of Eric and Diane.....I think the first romantic dinner should be spent at my personal favorite Bayside. In 27 days I will be more than happy to join you there and enjoy your company, over some stars, ocean and oh yes, some delicious cusine!!

Can't wait to be there with you again!!!

[The2ofus]

Hi
We meet lots of people each day at Couples especially other divers, however we don't get asked to join them for dinner.
The reason I'm sure is my personality. I'm always "playing the fool" - it comes naturally for me. This can be very irritating for others, so consequently we don't get invited to share dinner.
My advice - practice hanging your spoon on your nose, and always carry a water pistol - the invites will quickly dry up.
Hope this helps.
Ian (and Vanda)

You mean you shouldn't hang spoons or bring water guns? oops.