Sensitive Subjects ????

[Rob_N_Dayna]

I am really hoping this thread does not get automatically locked or not even posted as some other threads have been lately. I am not trying to spark any arguments or heated debates for sure but I just don't understand something. In the past few years since that I have been constantly glued to reading all of the wonderful posts on this site I can't help but notice a division between it's members. There has always been the rivalry between members who jump online at the drop of a hat to profess their love and devotion to one resort or another, the age old question of the weather, nightly activities at each resort, even au natural vs. not. These threads go on and on and you can find them on any page of the message board. But here recently I have noticed some getting locked very quickly, I am sure because the moderators are cautious of the direction they are heading in, but sometimes it may not be a bad thing to give these threads some time to breath and let members resolve some issues on their own.

That being said, I have noticed from a spectators point of view it this site has changed and it is not all for the better I might add. I have seen some of these veteran posters that are here all the time treat some posts as if they are completely astonished or horrified that some of these questions or even asked. This is very sad that a message board dedicated to such a wonderful chain of resorts can turn into such an ugly environment over something as simple as a wedding or a hangover question.

Anyone who has been to Couples and truly enjoyed the resort will always hold it near and dear to our hearts. But, unless our name is followed by the initials C.E.O. or owner of the resorts, then sometimes " It is best to just let a sleeping dog lay". If a poster asks a question as members we should try to inform them of the facts we know try to point them in the right direction for their answers. If Couples does not have a problem with what the poster is asking or doing and they are not violating any policies, then it makes no difference what our opinion on a particular matter is. Everyone that chooses to spend their hard earned money at Couples Resorts, no matter their lifestyle choices, sexual orientation, married, engaged, single, widowed, rich, poor, old, young, beautiful or any other thing. If COUPLES decides they are welcome at the resort than that is all that matters.

If there is no violations of any policy in the eyes ofCOUPLES RESORTS, than they have the right to be there just as much as any of us no matter how many times we have been to the resorts, Couples was designed for all of it's guests to enjoy, not just the select few. We all go to these resorts to enjoy ourselves, and it is a certifiable guarantee that there is no way we all enjoy the same things on vacation. Some enjoy reading books on the beach, me I would never spend my day in a book while I am in paradise, but you no what that is the beauty of this world, we are not all alike nor should we expect everyone to act the same way, like the same things, dress the same. We are a world of different cultures, races, and personalities and some people just need to accept that.

Sorry for such a long post, I don't even know if this will make it to the board. But if it does I hope we can all take at least something from it. COUPLES is a wonderful place and we all dream about it all the time until we are back in paradise. If we can let's all try and take a little of Jamaica back with us when we are on this board as well and just remember, "RESPECT" - TO ALL......

[dirtleg]

Perhaps you have answered your own question, or so it appears to me. We are all different, including those that post on the message board. Yes, there are sometimes responses that seem curt or unfeeling, sometimes downright rude or cruel. But that is the way of the world. We are not all kind, generous and understanding at all times. Especially, it would seem, when we are speaking with an anonymous voice. Most of us try to remain civil and helpful and for the most part I think that is how the majority of the board members present themselves. But all the message or comment boards that I follow or have observed have their share of, let's just say "not so nice" participants. I find the Couples message board to be one of the gentler and least intimidating of all the boards I visit. I think if you take a fair assessment of the folks that post here you will find they are genuinely interested in being friendly to each other and helpful and welcoming to new visitors. Most of us try to maintain that "Jamaican" vibe even after we leave the island and keep it alive here on the message board as well.

Hang in there, we are not such a bad lot really. Even the best of us will sometimes hit "Submit Reply" when we probably should not. And once it is gone there is no getting it back. Oh, and I know from first hand experience that the moderators will indeed put the kibosh on posts that need it. They take pretty good care of the kids in this sandbox.

[Soonerfans]

Nicely said!!!!!!!!!

[suzyQ]

Rob_N_Dayna,
I totally agree! I love CSS but I would not presume to tell anyone who can or cannot come and share the same joy that I feel when I hear the phrase "Welcome Home" when I enter the Couples Lounge. I hope that all the opinions shared are made out of caring for the loving spirit of the resorts and not out mean-spiritedness.

One Love,
suzyQ

[lpmp]

I totally agree!! I recently posted some thoughts about the CN AN beach and you would've thought I was trying to start a revolution! I just had some thoughts and wanted to see what other viewpoints were, but felt like I was being attacked!

Thanks for bringing this up - I've seen it in the past and it does seem to be getting worse.

[Margi]

Great post! I totally agree. Spread the love.

[Patty]

Well said, I couldn't agree more. Each to his own, Although i must say we will be going to CSS next year.
Just not enjoing CTI as much as we used to, it seems to be getting more of a party atmosphere latley, loud groups and the like, which is not what us old biddies are wanting and there seems to be much more of the touting for tips than before, like our housekeeper knocking on next to last day saying she had forgotten the leave flannels when there where some in the bathroom already, it was obvious what she was wanting, now i am not saying i would not have left something it's just being asked that was not good and there were a couple of other instances.
We did not get that at CSS which was very nice but we now have the problem of telling all our wonderful friends at CTI that we will be going to CSS nect year.
I know i have digressed from the original post maybe just getting things out that are floating around the old brain we normally do a split trip week in each but this year after much discussion the tips situation and various other things that we prefer CSS and after all it is our holiday.
But i would appreciate any advice on how to handle the situation of telling friends that we will be going to CSS, don't want to do a Trading Places day as i think the staff would be offended that we just went over for the day.
So any advice would be welcome

[johnirene]

Agree with your sentiments and the fact that sometimes threads get closed quite quickly.

I would also like to offer a suggestion on closing threads, whilst appreciating that it is solely the moderator's decision on when to close any thread, perhaps a good idea would be for the moderator to state Couples policy on the subject being raised/commented upon before closing the thread. This would eliminate posters starting a new thread to add their comments/opinions or in an effort to discover the official Couples policy and not the opinions of MB posters. As a veteran repeater to Couples over many years I believe I am aware of Couples policies on most things relating to Couples Resorts but, hey, policies change and it would be good to have the Couples policy stated on the MB, particularly on potential contentious issues where posters' opinions differ.

Just my 2 cents worth - Love and Peace

[Rob_N_Dayna]

Perhaps you have answered your own question, or so it appears to me. We are all different, including those that post on the message board. Yes, there are sometimes responses that seem curt or unfeeling, sometimes downright rude or cruel. But that is the way of the world. We are not all kind, generous and understanding at all times. Especially, it would seem, when we are speaking with an anonymous voice. Most of us try to remain civil and helpful and for the most part I think that is how the majority of the board members present themselves. But all the message or comment boards that I follow or have observed have their share of, let's just say "not so nice" participants. I find the Couples message board to be one of the gentler and least intimidating of all the boards I visit. I think if you take a fair assessment of the folks that post here you will find they are genuinely interested in being friendly to each other and helpful and welcoming to new visitors. Most of us try to maintain that "Jamaican" vibe even after we leave the island and keep it alive here on the message board as well.

Hang in there, we are not such a bad lot really. Even the best of us will sometimes hit "Submit Reply" when we probably should not. And once it is gone there is no getting it back. Oh, and I know from first hand experience that the moderators will indeed put the kibosh on posts that need it. They take pretty good care of the kids in this sandbox.

Sorry, I guess the question marks at the end of the subject may have thrown it off alittle. I wasn't really asking a question, I was speaking of the way that these other threads have been getting locked so quickly when different parties have different perspectives on subject and some of these other subjects just keep going on and on week after week.
I totally agree with you that this board is one of the more milder and respectful than other message boards I read. But I still see some people on here who literally take the "Welcome Home" phrase alittle to much heart. Couples wants their resorts to be enjoyed by all who visit them. I was merely stating that not all of us have the same ides of what we want our vacation to be. Some may want to play sports all day or ride jet skis up and down the beach, some may want to lounge around their verandahs or read a book on the beach, some may want to knock bac shots at the pool bar all day, or leave the island and hit some excursions. The point is if no one is violating policy and the Couples Staff says they are not doing anything wrong, then it is not our place to say what another guest can or cannot do. We call our Couples or second home but some of us need to remember that it is not actually our home. It is someones home, the owners and property managers of the Couples franchise, and they are the ones who decide what can or cannot be done in their home, just as we all would do if we were in our actual homes.

So sorry if the heading was confusing, I was really just trying to vent on how I have noticed some of the post on this message board turning from helpful to flat out rude...

[muck]

I'm gonna take the perspective of the "unkind" and "cruel" posters here......

What makes Couples special to many is the fact that it IS a COUPLES resort. It's a resort that caters to couples looking to reconnect and discourages children and singles from visiting. There are resorts in Negril that are family friendly, there are some that promote the wild side, and then there is Couples.....which, in the opinions of some, make it special and unique.

The fear (maybe misguided, maybe not) is that if singles start booking stays there, the thing that makes Couples unique is lost and it just becomes another Beaches.

For those that think it's OK for the singles to stay for the wedding, do you feel the same if a couple getting married also decided to bring their children along as well? Does the age of the children matter? How about 15 year olds? 10 year olds? 2 year olds?

I don't think people were being "unkind" or "mean"...A question was asked by the OP, and they simply offered their opinion. There are people that work extremely hard to save their $$ to stay at a resort for Couples and, quite understandable, become protective of that.

Personally, I wouldn't be offended if there was a single or two who attended a wedding...but would I be considered "mean" if I said that I would be very upset to see children running around the resort and splashing in the pool? I love kids (have two myself), but my wife and I booked a trip to Couples to get a break from all that.

Just my opinion......

[Cathy_Joe]

I do believe one of the down falls of a message board or any printed media is that tone and inflection are lost. I often in the past have send in a short answer that when I read it later sounds very curt and that is not the way it is meant.
We have been going to Couples for the last 7 years. And I must say we have seen many changes in that short amount of time.
I do have to respectfully disagree with the following statement though:

Everyone that chooses to spend their hard earned money at Couples Resorts, no matter their lifestyle choices, sexual orientation, married, engaged, single, widowed, rich, poor, old, young, beautiful or any other thing. If COUPLES decides they are welcome at the resort than that is all that matters.

I have seen nothing on the Couples website or the message board changing what Randymon said many years ago that Couples Resorts are for couples in love. Any couple in love. And while the company would not be grilling people about their status, the reason I went to Couples was for the experience of being at a Couples only resort. And that I believe is why many many people return.
I would reconsider my vacation choice if Couples was suddenly marketed to singles. It is of course their perogative and it may be very lucrative, however, the repeaters that go to Couples for the couples ambiance would probably not be returning, although I ofcourse can not speak for everyone.
I see nothing wrong with people stating their opinion. I do agree it should be done with civility.
We are pretty much on a "Couples" break right now as we are saving for weddings and trip to Ireland next year. I have always loved staying a Couples and if I can enjoy the experiences I have had with Couples in the past I would have no problem returning.
But, if I find like Patty did loud groups and a party atmosphere, I would certainly be making a different choice in where I spend my vacation dollars.

[Questor]

Well I have touted (On other boards) this board as being a true source of real information about Couples with all posts being allowed, both negative and positive. In the past few months I have noticed this is less true. I have had several topics not posted even though they weren't all that negative.

I'd really rather have an informed discussion here rather than on the regional forums, but when they don't get posted here that's where they end up.

I realize forums must be moderated to prevent self destruction, but censorship takes away from the credibility of the place.

Just my two cents.

[lanellboo]

THIS IS A GREAT THREAD!

IT'S ALL ABOUT THE VACATION!...I am not the type of person you speak of. My past posts ALL support my statement. Feel free to read them... Couples is a resort chain business & a good one. As such I'm glad when they stifle negative posts/opinions.

I'm excited to go on vacation and like to keep it that way. Also, I cannot begin to tell you how much helpful information this message board has provided me with. I never dreamed that I would be a regular visitor & feel very fortunate. After we book, I generally live on the message board until my trip..I CAN HARDLY WAIT! let's give others the same feeling with our positive & informative feedback

[dank120]

You will hear this even more off the resort than on it, and this should ring true to everyone... NO WORRIES! Leave 'em at home! That's why you go to Jamaica. If you want to get bent out of shape about stuff, be all up in other peoples' business, and let other people get to you... There's always D-World!

[Rob_N_Dayna]

I'm gonna take the perspective of the "unkind" and "cruel" posters here......

What makes Couples special to many is the fact that it IS a COUPLES resort. It's a resort that caters to couples looking to reconnect and discourages children and singles from visiting. There are resorts in Negril that are family friendly, there are some that promote the wild side, and then there is Couples.....which, in the opinions of some, make it special and unique.

The fear (maybe misguided, maybe not) is that if singles start booking stays there, the thing that makes Couples unique is lost and it just becomes another Beaches.

For those that think it's OK for the singles to stay for the wedding, do you feel the same if a couple getting married also decided to bring their children along as well? Does the age of the children matter? How about 15 year olds? 10 year olds? 2 year olds?

I don't think people were being "unkind" or "mean"...A question was asked by the OP, and they simply offered their opinion. There are people that work extremely hard to save their $$ to stay at a resort for Couples and, quite understandable, become protective of that.

Personally, I wouldn't be offended if there was a single or two who attended a wedding...but would I be considered "mean" if I said that I would be very upset to see children running around the resort and splashing in the pool? I love kids (have two myself), but my wife and I booked a trip to Couples to get a break from all that.

Just my opinion......

In this post you have taken this thread right back to where the original post came from. Like so many that only saw the words " Single" and "Children". My post stated any guest that abides by" Couples Policy". Their policy clearly states a minimum age requirement to stay on the resort. So the comments of children splashing in a pool is one that really did not to be made because these policies are in place. If someone does want to bring children that young to a wedding or resort, than they clearly would need to look at an age appropriate family resort, but in this case everyone being discussed was of the appropriate age set forth by the Couples Policy. This is a direct relfection of what I was saying in my original post..You proved my point for me.

[Rob_N_Dayna]

I do believe one of the down falls of a message board or any printed media is that tone and inflection are lost. I often in the past have send in a short answer that when I read it later sounds very curt and that is not the way it is meant.
We have been going to Couples for the last 7 years. And I must say we have seen many changes in that short amount of time.
I do have to respectfully disagree with the following statement though:



I have seen nothing on the Couples website or the message board changing what Randymon said many years ago that Couples Resorts are for couples in love. Any couple in love. And while the company would not be grilling people about their status, the reason I went to Couples was for the experience of being at a Couples only resort. And that I believe is why many many people return.
I would reconsider my vacation choice if Couples was suddenly marketed to singles. It is of course their perogative and it may be very lucrative, however, the repeaters that go to Couples for the couples ambiance would probably not be returning, although I ofcourse can not speak for everyone.
I see nothing wrong with people stating their opinion. I do agree it should be done with civility.
We are pretty much on a "Couples" break right now as we are saving for weddings and trip to Ireland next year. I have always loved staying a Couples and if I can enjoy the experiences I have had with Couples in the past I would have no problem returning.
But, if I find like Patty did loud groups and a party atmosphere, I would certainly be making a different choice in where I spend my vacation dollars.

You are right Cathy, I should have chosen my words differently when I got to this statement. I also enjoy the Couples theme and atmosphere and enoy the fact that knowing this is demographic that Couples is trying to serve. I in no way would ever want to see the resort overrun with singles or entire families that are packing their three elementry grade children and the family dog or a group of collge kids there on spring beak with 40 of their friends.

Couples is special because it is geared towards people that are in love and for the most part that will be married couples. But their are different types of Love, Siblings share love, would anyone be offeneded if two sisters who were in thier late 60's for example, each lost their husband perhaps and wanted to take a trip together and were sharing a room on the resort, I highly doubt it. I also feel this resort is unique and cannot wait to return myself. I was just going with it when I wrote the original post, it was really not meant to be just about the one subject that is being discussed here. I was just trying to say that sometimes posters forget we are not the policy makers and should sometimes really read a post and speak from their head and not only their hearts, when some people post their opinions sometimes they don't see or realize just how offensive an opinion can be, if someone is just trying to find out a simple fact.

This thread really was just meant to shed light on somethng that I and obviously other peoplae have been seeing on the MB. The whole guest/wedding/sister thread was not my real reason for writing this thread. It was just one of the treads that was a heated debate and some fo the posts started to vary from the OP and it got lost in there somewhere, maybe that is why it was locked. The Hnagover thread was another example, one person asked a simple question and for the most part it was people joking and answering the question and trading secrets, than one person read something way more into the OP and automatically pictured this wild drunken part scene and just like that "Wham" and my father just walked into the room and slammed the door. The opinionated posts that had nothing to do with the OP began, some could look at it as nothing but some could have been offened or even feel looked down upon because of opinions. This type od f thing is what I was discussing, if you are trying to answwer and OP question or provide insight that is great. If you ae just chimming in to throw your opinion around and not offer any true insight, than maybe sometimes it is best to just not say anything at all. Sorry that response was alittle more than I was planning on, just trying to get the rest of the OP out there from when I worte it I guess...LOL

[dank120]

And the train leaves the tracks...again...

[ORV]

Well I have touted (On other boards) this board as being a true source of real information about Couples with all posts being allowed, both negative and positive. In the past few months I have noticed this is less true. I have had several topics not posted even though they weren't all that negative.

I'd really rather have an informed discussion here rather than on the regional forums, but when they don't get posted here that's where they end up.

I realize forums must be moderated to prevent self destruction, but censorship takes away from the credibility of the place.

Just my two cents.

I've been a Couples patron for over 10 years now and have followed this message board since it began. I'll have to respectfully disagree with your opening statement. The appearance has been there but the reality is that it is highly controlled.

I don't agree with letting it be a negative flamefest but I do believe OPEN discussion should be allowed unless it crosses the line.

[jamaicamecrazy]

For those that think it's OK for the singles to stay for the wedding, do you feel the same if a couple getting married also decided to bring their children along as well? Does the age of the children matter? How about 15 year olds? 10 year olds? 2 year olds?

I seriously don't think you can compare children and single adults. I mean how do you know the two single ladies hanging out on the beach reading their book aren't just waiting for their husbands to return from diving, or if they're two single guests of a wedding party, or two ladies in a gay relationship?

However, on the other hand children are quite obviously children. No doubt about that one. Yet Couples policy is to allow children (no age restriction mentioned) to attend wedding cereomies and even stay for the photos.

The OP puts it so well. We're all different and have different opinions and preferred ways to enjoy the resorts. So the bottom line is indeed that it is up to Couples to set their policies, whether on single, children or outside resort wedding guests... or smoking. Luckily I have never seen one child on a Couples property yet (other than passing on CSA's public beach). Surely it's a no-brainer that children would never be allowed to stay at the resort... or use the pools, or stay and eat.... ?? ...but who knows? While I have to respect Couples policy, I can make up my own mind whether or not I choose to live with it or not go any longer. However, I really do think Couples tries very hard to please couples.

I don't think it should be wrong to express opinions.... to a degree. But I have to agree that some people don't exactly put their opinions nicely at all. (saying things like - "Couples is for COUPLES, go somewhere else" - using lots of caps - is pretty harsh) Put yourself in the posters shoes. They have a concern. If they didn't care what people thought they wouldn't even post - they'd just do it. But here they are asking what people think, only to get attacked. After awhile one becomes afraid to say something even remotely negative for fear of attack. I know, because prior to my own wedding in 2008 I was attacked. I was one of these couples who had 2 singles (I know! - stone me now!). My adult niece's husband was killed in a horrible vehicle accident. It had been long enough for the real grieving to be over and she could certainly be around couples, but she would be bringing a girl friend instead of a man. I just wanted her to enjoy fabulous Couples and be part of our wedding. The responses can make want one want to cry and go somewhere else. However, we went and had a wonderful time, and in reality no one actually gave us a hard time once they're in paradise instead of hiding behind a keyboard. That is why I like to show my support.... but I know I take the risk of attack. I love Couples but sometimes things are not 110% perfection. We should be allowed to be honest..... I don't like Couple's choice of house wines whatsoever... There! I said it. Attack me for it? ...Pleeeeease, can't we all play nice?

[BettyinToronto]

Love this thread and totally agree. When I first booked CN in the spring and started asking questions about diving I was attacked by two people. I later found out on the scubaboard forum that they are husband & wife. Whoah. Tag team

I also agree about postings not showing up. I posted a question about tipping because I was a first timer and was confused by conflicting stories. Randymon did not post but instead sent me a wonderful e-mail explaining it all. I really liked his answer but thought it should have been shared on the board. Because a few days later someone else asked the exact same thing and a new thread was born.

I just returned from CN (Sept 10-17) and LOVED IT. It was exactly what I expected because of all you wonderful people sharing your stories. We are booked again for next fall (could not pass up that early bird special) and am now just surfing the MB for the next 11 months. I do though have a dive vacation in January to Cozumel; but I know I will comparing it to CN.

Thanks again

[markandjannett]

Well I have touted (On other boards) this board as being a true source of real information about Couples with all posts being allowed, both negative and positive. In the past few months I have noticed this is less true. I have had several topics not posted even though they weren't all that negative.

I'd really rather have an informed discussion here rather than on the regional forums, but when they don't get posted here that's where they end up.

I realize forums must be moderated to prevent self destruction, but censorship takes away from the credibility of the place.

Just my two cents.

And my God help you if the palapa topic comes up and you don't agree that people should be tarred and feathered for actually being awake in the morning and claiming one ......

[randymon]

I am not sure what more can be said - without the inevitable rude and attacking posts popping in again.

Couples Resorts is for ALL couples in love. We do make exceptions for singles - as do our competitors - attending a wedding. Children are strictly prohibited, but we have also been known to make exceptions ONLY for them to attend the wedding ceremony. This has been and will always be at our sole discretion.

RE: moderating the board vs. not, I will continue to moderate in what I believe are the best interests of our company. Towel art in the shape of a penis - as an example - has no place on this board.

I have tried to let conversations run as freely as possible. This thread is an example of what happens when personal opinions, prejudices, biases and religion interfere with providing a simple answer to a simple question. With Respect, I am closing this thread.