What's the deal with some of you ???

[markandjannett]

Look .... this is not intended for everyone, but it seems like quite a few people showing up at Couples, or at least CSA, have a serious problem with lack of courtesy towards others.

We have always noticed it to an extent, and no offense intended, but in the past it seemed to be primarily European guests. Go ahead, flame away. I can take it, I'm a big boy .....

During our most recent visit, last week, it really seems to have gotten worse, and includes people from EVERYWHERE.

It was nothing to meet a couple on the sidewalk, and you know that they are not wide, and they would refuse to budge and make room. Personally, when we meet someone or another couple, I take a step back and follow my wife until we are past others. It makes passing easier, and I think of it as common courtesy. It seems that MANY simply say "screw it, they will move over" and will basically walk into you or force you off the sidewalk. And yes, it was both men and women ...... Oh, and by the way.... it it so hard to say "Hello, etc." when someone speaks to you ???

Another thing I noticed was that many people seemed to believe that the staff at CSA were "below" them and treated them as such. Yes, they are our maids, bartenders, cooks, servers, etc., but they are no different than us in that they are doing their jobs just as we do here at home. Most are going out of their way to make your stay the best it can be. Treat them well, and respond when they speak to you .....

Probably the worse thing I saw was a couple making their way down the sidewalk one evening when they met one of the maids. The maids cart was high and her vision had to have been partially blocked when she met them. They stopped in front of her cart and would not move. She had to go around them ......

Alright, I'll get off my soapbox now ......

354 days until we return "home" .......

[REH]

I agree there are some very rude people. I have seen the same thing where people do not move over to let you walk by. I have seen people be rude to bartenders, servers, etc. A smile and a thank you goes a long way.

However, (and I am not European - I am Canadian), I don't think it is appropriate to state that a lot of these rude people are Europeans.....not a nice thing to say at all.

[cleversole]

Many of those are probably the same people who complain about the staff not being friendly, but I have seen many people on here say exactly the way I feel...Treat them like you would want to be treated. They are doing a job and if you smile and are nice, they will be in return. Most often you get what you give...We found the staff to be wonderful. And fortunately when we were there last year, most of the guests were as well. Hope some people see this and realize who they are.

[scottnkim]

You will find people that have no common courtesy anywhere you go.... be the better person and you will be rewarded.... peace and love....

[JDzWife]

Well said MarcandJannett. It's been two years since we've been to CSA and are excited about our trip this December. While there in 2008, we noticed disrespect from the guests such as you mentioned, not moving over on the sidewalk, or even saying thank you to the CSA staff.

Your post is a good reminder to take our manners with us when we go. The staff at Couples do a great job and little things such as thank you's, etc., certainly goes a long way.

Sorry you had to experience rude guests.

[mbhines]

I can't say that I have often witnessed people being rude to the staff and each other. My only complaint that I have ever experienced was on our last trip to CSA (Dec 2009). There was a large group of people at CSA for a wedding. They decided that CSA was a party resort and would do shots at dinner and start yelling! It was very rude and annoying. Nothing quite like trying to have a romantic dinner with a group of twelve people yelling train noises beside you. Several couples asked to be moved to the opposite side of the room or simply left. I did complain to the server and was told that it would get louder now that they were doing Bob Marley shots. Not the answer I was looking for. Then when we went on a snorkeling trip they were very rude to everyone else not in their group.
I am happy to say that I this is the only time (out of four trips) that I have experienced rude vacationers.
I think people should be embarrased if they have the nerve to be rude to staff or each other on a trip to CSA. We should be there to enjoy ourselves and not to show someone else how hateful and egocentric we can be.

[Mrsd]

This is sooo true, I thought i was the only one who realised this. We were there are few weeks ago and realized the same thing. So rude. They would also be walking on either ends on the walkway and would not even try to get out of the way.

Thanks fot this>

[jasonamanda]

I could not agree more with you MarcandJannett. The sad part to what you mention though is it's not just peoples manners at the resort. These people that you mention probably behave this way from what ever part of the world they hail from. It is all becoming to familiar with the word "entitlement". They think they "deserve" more than others. I see it in my home state everday, everywhere I go. People have forgotten how to respect other people. We just came back from our weddingmoon at CSA and although you did see this some, by and large the majority of guests were very respectful to the staff and to one another.

Sorry we ALL have to experience people that have forgotten about common courtsey.

Respect and Soon Come
Jason and Amanda Loukota

[dandj]

I don't think it matters where you come from. There is just a complete general lack of thought and manners worldwide these days. It seems many feel self entitled and do not care about anyone but themselves. Just my two cents.

[Jimnmariann]

Maybe I am not looking in the same places but I did not see what you are talking about at CN. What I saw was guests going out of their way to praise and thank the staff for all they did. I saw friendly, courteous people who were so happy to be there that everyone was smiling at one another.

[Sue and Randy]

we have seen this to different degrees on our trips there. sometimes the dynamic changes during the week. we'll just keep smiling and saying hi to folks and if they don't reply, c'est la vie.

Randy

[Margi]

I think this "me, me, me" mentality is happening everywhere. People seem to be so self absorbed that they forgot there are other people around. It's not getting any better either because people are raising their kids with all these entitlement issues. I wish we all thought of everyone as being in a big friendly community. Show some respect and caring. It makes the world go round much nicer.

[Sue_&_Mike]

I don't think it matters where you come from. There is just a complete general lack of thought and manners worldwide these days. It seems many feel self entitled and do not care about anyone but themselves. Just my two cents.

danddj "They feel ... entitled" is exactly the word I would use.

My distaste for this type of traveller is similar to everyone here. Why they have this perception, I have no idea. I can't understand treating your hosts like that in any situation let alone when visiting their country and partaking of their hospitality. Whether you paid for the privilege or not. I live in a very large city and even there complete strangers greet you with a "good morning". I can only hope those same people didn't have the vacation they expected and don't return while I'm there. When on vacation I am my most relaxed and just happy to be where I am. How can you not pass that on when dealing with others you come across?

I've seen this behaviour at several resorts and it blows me away. At the very least, a little common courtesy won't make you look like a complete creep, but then again.....

[Serenity]

Unfortunately, bad manners seem to be a plague in the world today. On our recent trip to CTI we did not see much of this awful behaviour. The guests were mostly well mannered and the staff was warm and friendly. Oddly enough, the few hours we spent at CSS showed the exact opposite. The guests we encountered at CSS tended to be less relaxed and had fewer manners. It's so sad that people have gotten so caught up in the ME syndrome.
Here's to people who remember what courtesy is everywhere!!!

[BC]

When we were at CN last November we also were fortunate enough only to see people who brought their manners and good attitudes with them. We were impressed with how genuinely friendly and respectful the staff were to guests and each other as well! I think this was the norm there and not the exception because everyone we spoke with felt the same way.
We have been other places in the past where we were less than impressed with how guests treated staff and other vacationers, and how staff treated each other but none of this was evident at CN. I think that is part of it's charm that won our hearts and is bringing us back this November again!!

[warmweatherfriend]

I did not see the same type of behavior earlier this year at CN. There was one very rude lady in the internet cafe' on her last day of her trip, was dissatisfied with EVERYTHING and complaining very loudly to all. I finally had to speak up and tell her that I did not agree with anything she was saying and that in fact, I think the complete opposite of what she was talking about and that she could be right about one thing... she's a jinx! lol Hey...she said it first, I just agreed. She even tried blaming mother nature for the wind & waves that aren't typical at this time of year. It's the luck of the draw m'am, sorry! She finally left...thank goodness....but, we are going to CSA Feb. 2011 so I hope not to experience what markandjannett and some others have described on this thread. I have so much respect for the people of Jamaica and the Couples staff that I would be sad & offended if some people left their manners at home.

[Tommywommy]

markandjannett

You have hit the nail on the head..We have been to CSA twice on day passes and your post listed the reasons we will not return.

Hugs

[dirtleg]

I have long been a "people watcher". I have always been fascinated by watching the way people act and react to situations and each other. Nothing profound, but just something I have always done. From my own observations there have always been folks who act in this way; rude, self absorbed and selfish. It is not a new trend. These attitudes and traits have been around forever and there will always be people that tend to elevate themselves above those around them. Especially in surroundings where, for the most part, they are anonymous. When they feel they have no connection to the people or the environment around them they tend to become more emboldened to act the part of the ogre. They see being impolite or boorish as a display of power on their part.
I usually just try to ignore them. They are not likely to initiate any sort of personal confrontation as this may require some actual self confidence, which they most likely do not possess. Fortunately these folks are generally in the minority, so they are only a small inconvenience in most cases. Try avoiding them as best you can, but don't let them ruin your vacation. There are plenty of civil guests that will present a much more pleasant and enjoyable social experience and that appreciate those that share their good character and civility.

Just my 2 cents on the subject.

[Jackson618]

It's horrible that people can be so rude when they're at a place like Couples. The theme is "No Worries," yet they make it difficult for others.

[medic_1181]

Good Job Mark. I have yet to go to couples and am very much looking forward to my honeymoon there in January. However rude people just bother me. And as far as looking down on the staff regardless of their jobs thats bull. I've traveled out side of the states many times and this seems to be a problem most places, honestly as an American those people work alot harder and longer hours than we can even find conceivable and do so to live below what we consider the poverty level and take care of their family.

[mr2cool96]

I think it is the responsibility of the more civilized guests to point out when someone is being rude to the staff. I'm not saying to be confrontational ( although it has crossed my mind LOL), but someone could be pulled aside and told that they were being a jerk. Coming from NJ, we KNOW what rude is and I don't know if I would be able to be very diplomatic with a jerk, but I would certainly try. The way I see it is the staff are all so wonderful to us, we should make sure that they are treated with respect as well. I'm sure that if a staff member was ever rude to a guest ( which btw I have NEVER seen happen) they would be corrected by one of their peers. I for one would have no problem having a "discussion" with someone who was rude and abusive, and I'm sure there are many other guests who feel the same. I have seen people snapping their fingers at bartenders, not using please and thank you, and just come off with that "I'm the King" and you're the serf kind of attitude, and I have spoken up about it. Usually the "jerk" will just go away and hopefully with a little enlightenment. As for the people who would not get out of the way for the lady with the cart, I would have NO problem saying "can't you see that she is trying to get through"? As a matter of fact I think I would have taken the cart myself and pushed them out of the way, and I would have apologized to them for being so rude.

[Vybz]

We've been to Jamaica 15 times at different resorts, mostly Couples Negril. On average, other guests have been polite and easy going - we've thankfully never had a trip ruined or stained by rude guests. Of course, any resort changes from week to week, and a week of laid-back guests can be followed by high-strung, unhappy and rude guests. And it doesn't take many to change the "feel" of the resort.

As for Europeans, I think people might seem to be rude because they don't speak English, and are shy about conversing in a second language. We just got back from JA yesterday, and there was an Italian couple. The first time I said hi he just looked at me. I didn't know he was Italian, so he seemed rude. The second time, he said "Bonjourno!", and all was well.

Of course, not everyone wants to converse, and if people want to be by themselves, that's OK too. But that doesn't mean they can't say hello on the sidewalk, or politely make some room in passing.

Don't forget also that Americans have a pretty bad rep when it comes to travel politeness. I think that Euro guests are often surprised that the vast majority of the Couples guests are Americans, and might be put off by that. Especially when a few of them show up at dinner, badly dressed, drunk and on poor behavior.

[jamaican_junkie]

Without disputing the validity of the points made by everyone on here, I just wanted to bring up a related counterpoint.

While there are definitely acts of blatant disregard towards others, it also seems that sometimes people are too quick to bestow judgements upon others when their ideas of their vacation conflict with others. Yes, there are people who act with an inappropriate sense of entitlement, but there are also many people who feel "dissed" by every little thing. I have noticed this at Couples but moreso on this message board. For instance, while a small group of people who are having a few drinks and laughing with each other may view themselves as having a good time with friends on their vacation, others may view them as being loud and obnoxious. In other words, not everything is black and white, and not every action is right or wrong.

As dirtleg and others have pointed out, relax, enjoy your vacations, and don't sweat the petty things.

[Guernsey2]

I feel embarrassed that Markand Jannett had to witness rudeness from the Europeans (yes we are on that side of the pond). Sadly there are people out there who were raised with no manners or feel above the need for manners. On our last trip (CSS) my husband and I were astonished at the number of people (sorry, but they were mostly American bar one couple who were German) who seemed to be unable to say the words "please" when asking staff for an omlette, coffee or whatever and the number that walked away without saying "thank you" when handed or presented with the item they'd requested.

Important to remember though, it's not the nationality that dictates the rudeness or the "world domination" attitude but the person themselves that have a problem, regardless of their nationality.

We are delighted to call some of you friends (from various countries), having met you at CTI and CSS and all have been polite, friendly and a pleasure to be around.

Infact most people on holiday are so glad to be in such a beautiful place that they naturally are well mannered but there's always the few who are ignorant and will be, whereever they find themselves.

I very much hope that Mark and Jannett won't have this same experience next time. Trust me, there are some polite Europeans out there - US for instance!

[rjammin]

I have to agree with markandjannette on this. I also have to agree with the ones that pointed out that this was not the case at the other Couples resorts. My wife and I spent 9 days at CSA this past April and came away pretty disappointed for some of the same reasons you mention. We have been to CSS and CN 2 times each so we know how those two compare. After we got home it was a week or so before we really discussed what was so different about CSA that we didn't enjoy it anywhere near as much as CSS & CN.
In our opinion, it was the size of the resort and the layout. At CN & CSS, it's much smaller and you see a lot of the same people each day. I think people will tend to be more polite when they may see another couple in the week to come. We were amazed at how rude people on the path were. There wasn't a day that went by that my wife didn't comment on that. We always went single file and said hi to the people we passed, very rarely getting the same courtesy back. As far as the layout, you really have no choice but to use the common walkway to get from one end of CSA to the other. This makes for a lot of traffic. I don't think having the new restaurants & pool at the far end was a good idea. If they were put in the center of the resort, it may have made a difference. It was still Couples with great service, food and especially the staff but we won't be back. Next April it's back to CN. Friendly guests, fewer wedding parties taking over the place and the best pool of them all.