Worst week ever!

[Soon-to-be-Mrs.H.]

So...as I am planning my wedding for November 19, you just hope things don't go wrong. Well - this past week my fiance's mom went into the hospital, his sister moved in with us to our 2 bedroom apt. as she is having a hard time right now...and the cherry on top? My fiance just called me and said that his new job is not going to approve his time off for our trip to Couples EVEN THOUGH they hired him with the condition that he got time off for our wedding and honeymoon :-( SO...we lose our deposit, we have to re-plan our trip for 3 months AFTER our wedding....and at that time the vacation prices are over $1000 higher.

I am SO crabby right now!

[zambam]

sorry to hear that. I know it's hard to get a job right now, BUT I'd have your fiance tell them to take their job and shove it, doesn't sound like a great company and not a good way to start with a new employee. It's not just some random trip, its your honeymoon...that and family should always come first to an employer. A trip to couples is worth it. You shouldn't lose your deposit (I don't think) as your just changing your reservation, plus you're well ahead of the date.

[5moremins]

Don't be discouraged. Anticipation will make the trip that much better, and the stress will begin to melt off you the minute you reach the airport. Watch the specials, trips can be cheaper that way...
Good luck and congratulations.

[Margi]

I think if you call Couples and tell them the situation, they may just move your week. Not sure on this, but you sure could try. Good luck. I hope your week gets better.

[BrendaandBruce.PA]

I feel for you but try to find the bright spots. You are still getting married to the love of your life, your fiance has a job(a lot of people are out of work), you will still get to go to Couples and will just have more time to look forward to it. Just think, the week you would have been back you can say, I still have it to look forward to. Also, you should not lose your deposit. It should just be applied to the new date.
Concentrate on having a beautiful wedding. Maybe you will get a lot of money for wedding presents.
Congrats on your wedding.

[Ruthjfj]

You poor old thing - I really feel for you and am sending lots of love your way.

So - remember - however horrid it all feels right now, "this too will pass". Things will move on, joyful events will happen, love will fill your world and this tough month will be part of what made you strong.

[Kari]

Im not having the best summer ever either. My mother has been sick for afew years now and well she just pass away 2 weeks ago. Ive been planning my wedding at the resort for awhile now. Didnt get to show her any of it. Had to plan her funeral by myself. None of my family would help. Trying to loose weight. Ended up stress eating and gained 10 lbs. Now Im scared to death about how Im going to look in my swim suit. Had 10 to loose in the first place since I quit smoking 1 year ago. So my stress level is way up there. Trip and wedding are still on an cant wait to go and get away from all this and relax and have a great time. Going to try and forget this summer

[Fluffin]

Why do you loose your deposit? Can he not take the time off unpaid?

[Rum Girl]

Soon to be Mrs. H,

I'm SO sorry to hear about all that has gone wrong for you!! That really sucks that your soon-to-be husband's employer won't hold-up their end of the bargain! Any chance they might come around?

I hope that your future Mother-in-Law gets well soon. Also, that your future Sister-in-Law situation improves.

Most importantly, best wishes for a BEAUTIFUL November Wedding!

Take care and let us all know if anything changes on the Honeymoon plans ~ I so hope that they let you have that week!

~ Lori (a fellow "Mrs. H")

[Crabracer]

Britnee, I am so sorry for you. I hope for improved health and a speedy recovery for your future mother-in-law. I know it must seem overwhelming right now, but life has a way of going on, with or without us.
On your wedding anniversary each year, you can recall all the chaos surrounding your wedding. I know you'll smile, somewhere down the line.

Stay well.

Richie

[keki60]

Call Couples, see what they can do. Good things come to those who wait. Plus if you cant go for 3 months after you might want to wait til may when the rates are much better.

Randymon as CRO is there any way you can help them to keep the same prices? or anything you can do? I know the policies of most companies are straight across the board but I think this might warrant a little extra "Love"

[oxbgirl]

I am so sorry to hear about this. Could you shorten your trip and still have your wedding there? Would your fiance's job let him go for a long weekend? I'm just trying to look at options.... I know if you go in February, that's the most expensive time. Let us know what happens. We're rootin' for you!

[5moremins]

Have to say, pretty amazing the support you get from a bunch of strangers!!!

[Crabracer]

I noticed the support given too. Couples couples are just the nicest couples.

[Vee]

I know things look bleak now, but chin up! Three months before our wedding (which we were having at my in-law's country club) my MIL decided that she didn't want us to hold it there and cancelled it. Yikes! Even better, since it was a December 14th wedding, we couldn't get ANYWHERE else that late in the game..... so.....

We rescheduled for January 2. Re-ordered invitations, made a bunch (okay 100) phone calls, changed our theme from a Christmas wedding to a New Year wedding and moved forward. That was 15 years ago, and now, we look back and it seems SO unimportant. We have an awesome marriage, two fabulous (most of the time) kids and a great life.

Trust me... It'll all be OKAY!

[Soon-to-be-Mrs.H.]

Wow..yes - thank you to everyone for the words of comfort and encouragement!

First - the good news...My fiance's mom is doing much much better now! She has been moved from ICU to the rehab center, and within a few months she should be good as new. So praise the Lord for that!

As far as telling my fiance's job to shove it - oh man - I wish I could! But he got the job he has been wanting forever. And to clear things up - we were not planning on getting married at Couples, but here in Minnesota. Then our lovely 10 day trip is slotted for the Monday right after our wedding. We did our trip through a travel agent. So we will lose the deposit we gave to the agent. We are desperately trying to get his bosses to change their minds...as when they hired him they approved his time off and they took it back.

I know waiting till May-ish would be a cheaper time, but February is when his company said they would be able to give him the time off.

So...I am patiently waiting for some more information. We have until October 15 to make the decision to cancel our trip and reschedule...and my fiance left today for a week to Missouri for training...so we won't be able to do any convincing of any bosses this week. I guess we will see how it goes...

But thank you so much everyone for all the kind words! I come to this board to be happy about going to such a wonderful place someday and you are the reason why!!

[wileeandrr]

I noticed the support given too. Couples couples are just the nicest couples.

Absolutely!

[Soon-to-be-Mrs.H.]

Update:

My fiance's mom has moved to rehab. She got released from the hospital and is going into treatment. Things are getting much better for her...praise the Lord! Keep praying for her to stay on the same path of recovery!!

The sad part...I don't think I will be going to Couples at all. We had to cancel our November vacation as Trav's work couldn't give him the time off. Now we aren't sure if we will be able to afford a honeymoon at all, much less to Jamaica. So we have started looking into other cheaper alternatives...maybe Florida.

So I guess for now, I will only be checkin the message boards to hear about everyone else's vacations. Maybe someday we will be able to step off the bus in paradise...but for now we will just keep dreaming...

[Crabracer]

Well, it certainly is good news for your future mother-in-law. Rehab will help her a lot. It's a slow process, for her and for the family. I hope she continues on her path to a complete recovery.

Now, the rest of the story. This is not a happy story. I do not like it one bit. And I know you don't either.
I wouldn't give up the idea of Jamaica just yet. It may not be this November, but there are a lot of months out in front of you. Focus on getting married for the time being. Let everything else take care of itself.

Best of luck for Travis's mom. And for you too.

Richie

[oxbgirl]

Thanks for the update! Glad to hear your future MIL is getting better. Save that money for an anniversary trip to Couples. I hope you had trip insurance so you can get your money back. Look for the Wednesdy specials for a future trip. They have great deals!

[madtown mom]

I'm so very sorry about couples. Congrats on all of the goodness.

[negril4life]

You can afford a honeymoon, maybe just not
One to Jamaica for 7+ days. Find some state park with cabins, get away after you are married, even if only for a few days. Your husband can drive to work Monday and then back to where you're staying.

In an apartment with family members needing help, new job, new marriage is a lot going on. Save the funds, live debt free, then come 3x/year when you're older!

My wife's dental school moved spring break after we planned our wedding/vacation. They had done it the year before and promised us it wouldn't change. Grrrr...

[gonegril]

Hi Soon to be Mrs H - Negril4life offers some great advice - with this economy, life isn't like it was even as few as 10 years ago....plan a long weekend getaway after your wedding and focus on saving for your trip to Jamaica....I'm assuming you're still young, and sometimes the anticipation can be (almost) as good as the being there....

All the best to you with your new marriage and your soon to be hubby's new job. Focus on the positives in your life, and other good things will come your way!!

[artbcpa]

Glad to hear that the family health issues are working out. That is certainly the most important thing. As for the hubby's job, although it might seem like the "perfect" job right now especially when so many people are out of work, the company has already shown its true colors. Based on 40 years of working with and for companies as a CPA, HR consultant, and Wall Street Journal columnist, I have to tell you that it is only a matter of time before he realizes that this is not the right company for him. Unethical people and the companies they work for who would renig on a promise and don't value their employees personal lives are probably doing a lot worse that you just don't know about yet. My advice - keep the job for the moment, but update the resume and start looking NOW for a real company with honest people who care about their employees. Couples will still be here when the other much larger issues are resolved.

[Soon-to-be-Mrs.H.]

Hello and thank you all for your thoughts and prayers...this might be the last update for awhile...

The awful news is that my fiance's mom was home recovering and went back for a checkup. They did a CAT scan to find the issues behind her not recovering quickly. They found that she was in full cirrhosis of the liver and that her kidneys were failing. This happened Sunday, October 14. She got progressively worse over the next 36 hours and passed away on Tuesday October 16. Lori was a wonderful lady and she will be missed by many. This is a very hard time for us as we lose one of our family members in the same 30 days as our lives together start. My fiance and his family are doing OK but there are still really hard times ahead. Please keep our family in your prayers.

As our wedding draws ever nearer (19 days now) the realization that his mom won't be there becomes more in focus and it hurts everyday. We will need strength to get through this, but we know she will be watching us from up above, and that is a type of comfort.

Thank you everyone.