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  1. #1

    Default How to help my wife feel more comfortable

    I'm looking for advice. My wife and I have been together for 15 years now and as time and age and kids and career things have slowed down for us. We are both middle aged and have gained weight over the years. We are now to the point where my wife is embarrassed and upset about her body and it's a struggle for her to get naked in front of me. We are not skinny and we are not gigantic and I tell her I love her body no matter what and I did not fall in love with her body but the whole person but the issue is in her own head and she knows that.
    I want her to feel more comfortable and adventurous and was wondering if going to a clothing optional adults only resort might make her more comfortable we are not swingers (been there done that and not going back) and not gigantic partners.
    I'm wondering A if this will help and B are there resorts with people that look like us so that she may feel more comfortable showing a little more skin.

  2. #2

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    Ok, I'm not in shape. My wife loves me to death, tells me I look good, but I'm just not. Or even close to it. I find I have more confidence on regular beaches, after being on the AN beach. It's weird, but I guess baring it all and showing the world makes you accept you more. (or me at least) I'm more comfortable on the AN beach than the regular one at Couples. AN folks are SUPER accepting of all types. Maybe because everyone is vulnerable together.

    I didn't get a hint of any swingers my 2 trips, but I didn't hot tub it at night with some of the partiers. They were still mad cool when we hung out on the beach, and during the reggae party for example.

    My advice is get a little drunk, little stoned or what have you, and TRY. Try early in your vacation. I went from I could never do that, to this is awesome and we're headed back for year 3. You can always put your clothes on and retreat. But at least you can say you tried.

  3. #3

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    We just returned from CN and decided to give it a quick try. On the first day after a little liquid help we kept checking to hot tub until it was empty and then snuck in for a bit. It helped us get used to being nude. After an hour on the textile side we did it again only when we were done we got out and marched down to the ocean and went for a dip. After that.....no problem again. We didn't hang around the AN but would take several swims a day.
    Ease into it but do it early on your trip. (Like day 1)

  4. #4

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    Quote Originally Posted by Cruton View Post
    "together for ...years now" "age and kids and career" "middle aged" "gained weight" "I love her body no matter what"

    I'm wondering ... are there resorts with people that look like us so that she may feel more comfortable showing a little more skin.
    I sure hope so, because you easily could have been describing my wife and I, and we are spending a week au naturel split between CTI and CSS in November.

    I say go, relax, enjoy yourselves and rekindle the romance. Nobody will judge. Au naturel sunbathing is the most relaxing activity there is. Mix it with a few (or several) rum based cocktails, and you will be back to the early days of 15 years ago, without kids, careers or cares. That's our plan.

  5. #5

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    Quote Originally Posted by Cruton View Post
    I'm looking for advice. My wife and I have been together for 15 years now and as time and age and kids and career things have slowed down for us. We are both middle aged and have gained weight over the years. We are now to the point where my wife is embarrassed and upset about her body and it's a struggle for her to get naked in front of me. We are not skinny and we are not gigantic and I tell her I love her body no matter what and I did not fall in love with her body but the whole person but the issue is in her own head and she knows that.
    I want her to feel more comfortable and adventurous and was wondering if going to a clothing optional adults only resort might make her more comfortable we are not swingers (been there done that and not going back) and not gigantic partners.
    I'm wondering A if this will help and B are there resorts with people that look like us so that she may feel more comfortable showing a little more skin.
    I am not sure anything will help outside of her own mind. However, CSS SSB is the best place to experiment. You can be as social as you want to be, especially if you go during the slow season.

  6. #6

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    We felt the same way, we just passed 20 years together. Bad habits and gravity fornlast 40 years and all and we talked to several folks and we are just gonna try it.

  7. #7

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    If you are going to CTI you can go be by yourself and ease in to being with other people. I haven't seen to many Ken and Barbie types there either way. I'm very insecure about my weight. And I'm middle aged, but I love the AN beach @ CTI the people are wonderful and no one cares what you look like. That's what's so great about AN.

  8. #8

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    You will see all types of people - old, young, in shape, out of shape..... Guess what? No one cares. We were super shy the first time we tried it and now my wife can't get her clothes off fast enough when we get there. Now we are ruined in the fact that we don't want to go to a textile beach and put sloppy, wet, itchy bathing suits on anymore. We are limited in the beaches we want to go to, but couples seems to have everything we want and need. Just try it - it's weird for about 15 seconds then you see that no one is watching you. You'll also meet some of the nicest people in the world. You won't see them again..... ooops - I suppose we seem to meet up with the same crowd every year, so now we are all friends.

  9. #9

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    Our first trip to Jamaica and we went to CTI, I looked at hubby on day 1 and said let's go over to the island, that way if we like it we can go back, if we don't we will stay at the beach. We didn't want to miss out if we did like it, and we did. The first few minutes we were naked we just laid on the lounges in the sun, then decided to go to the pool. You wouldn't believe how relaxed you become when you get a drink and just start talking to someone or they talk to you. You don't really think about being naked, (even when your eating lunch naked) you just enjoy the freedom, the conversations, food and the drinks. Made some friends and had a blast playing the games.

    We would start our morning at the beach, then the island. It was so much fun that we are planning on going back! Try it, you don't have to stay if you don't like it.

  10. #10

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    Try hugging her more often & let her know how sexy she looks compliment her & mean it let her know she still has it at night cuddle with her if you bring back her confidence it shouldn't be a problem

  11. #11

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    I used to feel exactly like your wife, unattractive and overweight and had a lack of confidence. The first year at CN I wouldn't go near the AN beach but on our second year I was the one who suggested it. We both needed some dutch courage before we went on and we were the ones who went to the sea with the floats wrapped tightly around us and sunbathed on the back row out of sight. On our third visit we were so relaxed we were sunbathing in the front row and dragging our floats to the sea behind us. I am still overweight but have found the naturist experience to be liberating and now all of our holidays are based around naturist resorts. If you need some dutch courage don't worry - you probably won't be the only one but rest assured those that enjoy the naturist lifestyle are the nicest and friendliest people you could meet. Try it at the start of your holiday because if you do enjoy it you may regret not trying it earlier! Enjoy!

  12. #12

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    Been doing AN beaches for years and in fact would not vacation where I had to wear clothes, nobody judges, your confidence increase significantly , and people are just much nicer!!! My first AN vacation I cancelled twice b4 we went I was totally freaked out, but now I could not imagine any different!!! I have never met a couple who thinks it was a bad decision!! Cheers!

  13. #13

    Default careful with the liquid courage

    Good morning! Just an few observations from my time at CTI, regarding your wife and her comfort level. First, the vast majority of the people my husband and I met at the A/N island were just like us! Most everyone was middle aged and losing their fight with gravity! There were a few perfect bodies, of course, but the rest of us had stretch marks, cellulite; all the hallmarks of a life well lived I was hesitant at first, but loved it after I tried it! My husband and I visited the island nearly every day we were there. We are going back in April of 2018 - a split trip between CTI and CN. Can. not. wait.

    I would also caution against too much liquid courage. On two of the days that we went to the A/N island, there was a guest on the island (both times it was a woman) who was clearly not ready to try the A/N experience, and had tried to shore up their strength by getting sloppy, messy, hammered drunk- not a good look for anyone. The one woman spent the whole boat ride throwing up over the edge. It made me very uncomfortable to see them both so unhappy, and I felt so bad for both of them. Sometimes, you have to just accept that something isn't for you. That being said, I hope your wife loves
    herself ( ALL of her) enough to give it a try and enjoy some time with a man who obviously loves her very much! Best of luck to you both

  14. #14

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    I have to agree 100% about the "liquid encouragement" - a little can be good but I have witnessed one too many who thought a lot of encouragement was necessary...

    If you are trying it for the first time and want to blend in - being the drunkest on the island is not the way to go....

    Instead go on the first boat, first thing in the morning butt sober - won't be but a few couples there - if its not right at that time, it never will be so you can quietly leave without anyone noticing.

  15. #15

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    May be but I am not sure anything will help outside of her own mind. CCS is best experiment place. But one more idea just relax, enjoy yourselves and the romance. Nobody will judge its best activity.

  16. #16

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    Cruton:

    We first went Au Natural at Tower Isle and were we nervous - you bet.

    But tell your wife, once she takes off her clothes and sits on a lounge chair, she will never go to the clothing area again. I mean it.

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