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  1. #1

    Default It happens every damn time!!

    The wait always drives be crazy. Every minute that goes by seems to take hours. Each hour that passes is excruciatingly painful. Not in a physical sense, but emotionally it takes its toll. You would think that after so many trips I would have found a way to cope. But I haven't. Perhaps I don't want to. I'm not even sure I have tried.

    Sometimes I feel as though I am perched on some tiny pinnacle on the side of a huge mountain. I am unable or unwilling to move for fear of falling. At the same time, I know that I can not remain in that spot forever. My mind becomes consumed with thoughts as to how to rectify my predicament. There is the part of me that can come up with solutions that will end this torturous self inflicted situation. Why do I hesitate? Why do I doubt my decisions? Would it be better or worse to come to a conclusion one way or the other? I am never sure. I try some deep cleansing breathing exercises. I breath in as much air as I can, hold it for moment and then exhale slowly, blowing my breath out. Again. And one more time. Breath in, hold it, breath out slowly. It does nothing for me. I seem to be paralyzed with fear and apprehension. But there is nothing to fear. This should be a happy time, not one of desperation or sadness. Time and again for every one of our adventures the same feelings return. I am held between extreme ecstasy and improbable devastation.

    As each painfully slow day comes to an end, and before the new day dawns, I am held in limbo. On one hand, I tell myself that I will feel a lot better tomorrow. I will have moved a tiny bit closer towards my ultimate goal. The light will be just a bit brighter, I think. However, with every new morning comes the same disappointment. The twenty-four hours that have elapsed have done little or nothing for me. My anxiety remains. I still teeter on the edge of doubt and indecision. I remain sublimely positioned between a rock and a hard place.

    There was one thing that I thought I could do to ease my tension. Bring down the luggage. With 23 days to go at this writing, I thought it help with encouraging emotions. I set the two bags up here in the computer room. I put a couple of long boards between two chairs so that Frick and Frack will be high enough so that we don't have to keep bending over to the floor. It is a project that has been repeated time after time prior to our leaving. On the floor beneath my two traveling companions, there are plastic bags containing give away stuff. Some for the staff, others for my Amigos. Bags with school supplies. Bags with frogs and lizards. And still more bags with some summer clothes. I always think that the sight of all the preparation stuff will calm my nerves and sooth my ever escalating inpatients. But always, I get the same result. My heart still beats faster and the impending inevitable "J" day that I know will arrive in its own sweet time, actually makes me feel as though it is even longer until we shut off the lights, lock the doors and head for the airport. And will do more waiting there as well.

    Thirty one times before, we have repeated this routine that is now second nature to us. We start to sort our clothes, deciding what will go and what will stay. Again we question ourselves. "Do we really need this item"? Can we get along without that thing"? The answer is almost always the same. Rather take it with us and not use it, than to be there without it.

    On top of these two well worn suitcases, other things begin to pile up Shirts,shorts, beach bag, lighters, bubble stuff and on and on and on it goes. The stuff seems to be coming out of every nook and cranny of our house. The actual packing doesn't really happen until just about a couple of days before we depart. Over and over we sift through each garment and assortments of medicine and toiletries and , oh my, it never stops. We really know what will and won't go with us. But it seems to all be part of the ritual to second guess each other.

    I think that most of us have almost as much fun and get almost as excited before we ever leave the house. I don't find that so unusual. When people are going to a place that they know is going to be fantastic, I think that they would be all hyped up with anticipation and unbridled excitement. Whether it is their first time and especially if they are going back after many times. They know what to expect, they know what they want to see again and eat again and see friends again.. The feelings are not diminished one tiny bit.

    So it is with returning to Couples. Grown men and women carrying on as though they were a bunch of kids. Jumping up and down. Walking around the the house with big smiles on their faces. Putting their hands over their mouth and giggling from the inside. Looking at each other and realizing that, "Wow. Here we go again". It is all we can do contain our bubbling emotions.

    What ever the routine, whatever any couple feels, however silly we may behave, just adds volumes to the actual trip. And when there are groups that have formed from past trips, we just can't seem to contain our excitement. We just can't wait to see each other. To laugh together. To have fun together. To enjoy something that has become so much a part of us, that we are not ashamed to "behave like a bunch of giggling teenagers.

    We still have a couple of dozen days until the "J" day arrives. Each couple will have to do whatever it is that they do in order to pass the hours left. We know it will come eventually. But waiting for anything, especially for something so incredible and powerful and fantastic as another trip to Couples, well, I think that there is no getting around it. Patience is something we all must cope with. Each of us in our own way.

    Soon come, mon. Soon come. I'm waiting for it. I'm waiting.

  2. #2

    Default Spot On!!

    My thoughts exactly, very nicely put. .... It also seems that no one else can understand why I'm practically crawling out of my own skin in anticipation of our departure. This is our first trip and I can hardly handle the excitement!!

  3. #3


    I've got 19 days and 20 hours to go...the wait is not too fun, however I think back to 6 months ago when I booked thinking the day would never come fast enough and it flew by! So I keep telling myself these next few weeks will fly as well :-) Today I tried on all my summer clothes and picked out which 9 cover ups, dinner dresses and bikini's I'll be taking. I think that helped a little. Before we know it we'll be on the beach in paradise.

  4. #4


    Richie, going home soon come mi fren.


    it's all about the kids

  5. #5


    futureMrsCowan Others may not understand your prediciment, but Couples lovers everywhere know. First timers have one level of excitement. Repeaters have another whole level. But just to know that you are not alone in your "craziness" can be very helpful.
    Welcome to the Couples family.


  6. #6


    cliff notes?
    CN-July 2006
    CSA-July 2009
    CSA-July 2011

    Eat, Drink, and be Merry for tomorrow you may die.

  7. #7


    futureMrsCowan, I agree totally! This will b our first trip to Couples and we r about to burse. I think me more then him. Crabracer, u r absolutely correct. It really don't matter where u go u r always to exciting and anxious. My husband & I r coming to CTI n Sept but, my mother & I r going to Reno in May. First time but, she anxious about packing, what to take or not take. We will b doing that n August for CTI. It also seems to me that u wouldn't b as excited after all those trips but, like u say u probably haven't wanted to find a way to crub your excitement.
    Terry & Tonia Collins

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