It's been so long since I've posted that I needed to re-register my name. Wow!
I just wanted to write a quick note to say a thank you to all the regulars who keep this board going. A few years ago, I was planning a trip for my boyfriend and myself, and I couldn't decide where to go. And then I found this message board, and after reading some posts, my mind was made up. If this many people loved this resort brand this much, it was definitely worth a try.
You guys made my first trip to Couples Swept Away so amazing. Reading this board got me even more excited to go. Just hearing how much each of you loved this place, and all your insider tips (knowing which night lobster night was helped me figure out what nights to book!), made me confident in my decision. My ex and I went to CSA for 6 nights, and then when we had to leave, I cried. I'd never loved any place so much (and I've traveled to several countries). We saved our money and were very fortunate to be able to go two years later. And when my boyfriend, after 6 years, proposed to me, I knew exactly where I'd have my honeymoon: my favorite place on earth, CSA. Heck, I would have gotten married at CSA if I knew my family would all come out for the event!
Well, as much of a fairytale that my life was, it didn't quite end that way. Three months before the wedding I learned my ex was not the man I thought he was. It was bad. And I had to cancel my wedding. And at that moment, I realized that not only had I lost what I thought was the love of my life and my "perfect" wedding day, I'd also lost my favorite vacation spot.
I know it sounds silly to most people. But many of you should probably understand. I just love CSA. The beach, the food, the people, the tree frogs at night, the hammock in the Atrium rooms. Oh, and did I forget about the soft serve ice cream machine on the beach? They all sing to me. That's where my heart is. But, I can't imagine ever going there without my ex fiance. I can't imagine bringing another man to our special place that we spent 2 glorious vacations. While I might consider other Couples resorts, I'm really afraid that it just won't be the same. And what guy would want to go with me to a country I had already experienced twice -- with an ex? I feel like I've lost my favorite thing to look at in the whole world - the CSA beach.
So I'm bummed. Maybe I'm being a little dramatic. But, I don't want you to think I'm falling apart. It's been a year now since we canceled the wedding, and I'm doing much better. I even started a blog chronicling my life as a newly single girl (http://simplysolo.wordpress.com).
But I have to tell you guys - thank you so much for keeping this message board going. Even though I didn't post often when I was here, and mostly lurked, I really enjoyed your posts. I enjoyed watching the weight loss challenges, seeing who won the photo contests (and entering one, but I definitely didn't win!), laughing at the constant arguments over which beach is better: CSA or CN? (CSA - duh!!! haha jk).
And maybe this post is to tell you - appreciate what you have. You guys have people that love you and who go with you on vacation every year, every ten years, whatever you can afford, to some of the best places in the world - Couples resorts in Jamaica. I'm a little jealous
Wow. I am sorry that the guy turned out not to be the right one for you. Small conciliation, but good that you found out before the wedding. Glad to hear you are overcoming the heart ache and I wish you luck in the future.
Don't write off CSA completely. At some point down the road you may find a guy that is worthy of you and the urge to experience CSA and Jamaica with him may strike in spite of your current feelings. CSA is just a place, it is the people that make it special. It is the couples that makes Couples. Our interacting with the people of Jamaica and the unique combination of quiet elegance, beautiful beach and wonderful, attentive staff that makes it our little piece of paradise. Don't confuse the bad experience you had with the wonderful vibe of CSA and what it offers. Jamaica and the beach are still there, as beautiful as ever, and will be waiting for you to return, with open arms.
Take time to heal. Take time to strengthen. Look forward, carry on. It appears you are doing the right things to get on with your life, good for you. And I sincerely hope that someday you will hear CSA calling you back home. Soon come, soon come.
I had to take a break from CSA (then Swept Away) when I was no longer part of a couple. I first visited the resort the first year it opened and returned a half dozen times until I got divorced in 1995.
I did return once with a man I cared enough about to bring him to my most special resort and that was in 2004.
Then another long break until I returned with my new husband in 2008. The resort had changed quite a bit with the additions of rooms, great house, etc., and Feathers was no longer across the street - which I personally miss.
While I must say I loved CSA even more before the expansion, it was great to return and still qualifies as a tropical paradise in my eyes. We are headed back this month and look forward to our Couples vacation as a great way to reconnect.
I suspect when you return you will feel the same connection with CSA you felt during your first two trips. Good things are worth waiting for.
Markcat - don't give up! Go to CN instead! My wife and I have been to CN twice and love it...have #3 scheduled for April 2012 (and playing around with sneaking in #4 in December before #3 even gets here .
When you find the right partner, it won't matter. It will be a new experience for the both of you together.
Don't give up hope. You never know what the future may hold. You most likely will meet the right man for you and you may decide that you can share your special place with him. Time heals all wounds they say and hopefully this will be the case for you. God bless you and stay strong.
In response to your comment: "While I might consider other Couples resorts, I'm really afraid that it just won't be the same. And what guy would want to go with me to a country I had already experienced twice -- with an ex?" (sorry I don't know how to snip...)
The kind of guy who would want to go with you to a country you've already experienced is the kind of guy who will love and cherish you, and value your opinions and experiences - that's who - and that kind of guy is a "keeper!!"
Having gone through a painful divorce many many years ago, I totally feel for you, but be lucky you found out about your incompatibility BEFORE the wedding!! It IS possible to find love again, and even to return to Couples!! I'm confident that you'll be back, and you'll be stronger and better for the hardships you've endured.
Take care of yourself - maybe a girl's trip to another Jamaican resort is a possibility?? My best girlfriend and I went to Jamaica 2 days after my divorce was finalized, and it was the BEST thing I could've ever done!! :-)
My heart breaks for you and praying that you do heal completely(which you will). I love Bert's idea of trying a new resort but you know everyone had such nice things to say which is another reason why I love this message board.
Keep your chin up and never give up hope please!! I have never been to Couples but will be there Dec. of 2012 so maybe...just maybe I'll see you there!! Hang in there girl!
Dirtleg Ė Thanks so much. I completely agree, I am so happy that I found out before the wedding. That was the major blessing in all of this. As far as CSA, I know what you mean about the couples making Couples and the people making it special. Unfortunately, right now anyway, I canít imagine going to CSA with anyone but my ex. I think about all the memories we created together and how the last night of our first stay was probably the most romantic night of my lifeÖ Iím afraid that if I went there with someone else I would spend the entire time comparing the experience to my previous experiences (and hence, comparing the new person I am with to my ex fiancť). I feel like I would be haunted by the memories and it would get in the way of the experience. Times like these make me wish that Couples Resorts were open to singles . But maybe Iíll change my mind someday, or maybe Iíll find somewhere else that I love just as much. I appreciate your kind words Ė every day it gets better and I know Iím on the right track.
Beach-bum Ė Thatís what I keep telling myself. Itís helpful to remind myself of that every once in a while . Everything happens for a reason, right? God bless you too.
Caviargal Ė Thanks so much for sharing your story. Itís nice to hear from someone who has gone to CSA with different people. Was it hard? Did you feel like you were comparing the experience the whole time? Or had the resort changed so much that it felt new to you anyway? As far as the connection to CSA Ė I still feel it. Itís so strange. Iíve never felt this way about a resort in my life. So I canít imagine it going away any time soon.
Bert Ė Ha! Thanks for the idea! I did visit CN when I was there last, and it really is quite beautiful. I think I would consider going there, more than CSA, I think. I do hope you are right when you say that when I find the right partner, it wonít matter. And maybe my right partner will help me discover somewhere else I can love just as much as CSA.
kycouple Ė When we first broke up, I used to get so angry at people who would tell me that time heals all wounds, but now I know it to be so true. Iím not completely healed, but it gets better pretty much every day. Iím just trying to be positive about the future and that Iíll find someone I can love as much as I loved my ex. We had quite the life planned for ourselves and I still want it Ė more than ever. I have to believe I will get it in time. I appreciate your kindness.
gonegril Ė I think you make a good point, but I also see the other side Ė If I were dating a guy, I would NEVER want to go to a resort where he went multiple times with an ex. It would just be too weird for me Ė like I was replacing his ex. Maybe thatís immature, but I feel like it would make me feel uncomfortable knowing heíd had such a romantic experience with someone else on this very same resort. But maybe these feelings will pass, and maybe someday Iíll meet the person that would be understanding of my love for CSA . Iím sorry to hear about your painful divorce, and hope (well it seems) that you are doing better now.
You are SO right that I am lucky this all went down before the wedding. I think about that all the time. And, Iím young, and I have plenty of time to find love again (knock on wood Ė LOL). Itíll happen.
I actually am trying to get some girlfriends together for a trip now, and we are considering Jamaica. I just love the country so much, I canít imagine giving it up forever just because of what happened.
Soonerfans Ė I really appreciate your reply. I know Iíll be OK Ė it takes time, heck, it has taken way more time than I thought it would, but I am healing. I get a little anxious sometimes because I want to be all better immediately, and thatís just not realistic. There is no set timeline for this. I just need to learn how to let it happen. I really hope you enjoy your stay in Dec 2012 Ė I am sure you will love it just as much as I do!!