I have been seeing this gentleman for over a year and a half. We will be moving in together in September. He has no idea I'm planning this vacation. He's overstressed and overworked. He's a 5-star chef who does not know when to turn "it" off and just relax and enjoy himself. I know he''ll be trying to figure out the food and how to do it at home--but that's beside the point. He's very critical of what he eats.. not picky just critical.
How do I tell him were going to couples for a week next year for my birthday? Yes, I'm serious.
Congratulations on the next step of your relationship. You didn't say if you were paying for the vacation, going Dutch or expecting him to pay for it. IMO, that makes a big difference on how you approach it.
Having been married for a long time DH and I do not spend over a couple of hundred of dollars per purchase without talking about it. Before we were married we talked about a tropical vacation before we took one. He had a very successful career but felt he could not afford to splurge on a vacation. We did take a very nice vacation together to Jamaica but we each paid our own way. A side note.....he asked me to marry him on that trip ;-)
You sound like he is going to be upset for some reason......
Make it appear as a gift for HIM that just happens to be a trip over your birthday.
Between now and then, when you want to give him a present (his birthday, anniversary, house warming, Christmas, Hanukkah, whatever), box up and wrap some "Jamaican" items for him. Perhaps things like, a bathing suit, small Jamaican Flag, a bottle of Red Stripe, some sand in a bottle (representing the beach), a toy palm tree, a toy airplane, etc. etc. etc. Got the idea? Use your imagination. Perhaps include your resort confirmation and/or airline confirmation in the box or in a greeting card to see if he can figure out the final destination.
Let him know what he means to you and that you want to do this for HIM to let him relax from his hectic, professional lifestyle. Let him know that it'll also be a romantic get away for the two of you.
But that's just me. I'd down play the "my birthday" part. I'd focus on the romance and love and not the birthday. The birthday in paradise would just be a bonus for me. The real gift is the time the two of you will spend together and how special Couples will make it for BOTH of you.
Write him a love letter. At the end of the letter, lay out the travel plans. Contact Randy Russell (Randymon on this board). He is The Chief Romance Officer (among other duties) for Couples. He will call your "gentleman" and read him your letter. When the reading is finished, he will know all about your trip together.
I did something similar for my wife a few years ago. I just told her to request time off from work for specific dates. Told her I was taking her somewhere, but it was going to be a complete surprise. She didn't have a clue where we were going.
I only guided her through what she wanted to wear -- told her it was going to be warm where we're going, so select light clothing. She sat all that aside a few days prior to the trip and I did all the packing.
She didn't even know we were going to the airport until the shuttle arrived at our home to pick us up! She didn't know where we were flying until we arrived at the airport, and then she only knew that we were headed to Jamaica...still no idea of where we'd be staying once we arrived at Sangster!
The suspense was killing her, and it made for very interesting conversation on our departure day. I just kept reassuring her that we were going somewhere nice and that she needed to chill.
Get a hold of his employer and schedule vacation time for him. Then two weeks before you leave, pull out the suitcases and start the shopping trips. Just a little bit at a time. The clothes that you're buying should be a good clue.
He'll ask "what's up?", you won't tell, he'll get pissy, you'll say "Honey, I love you, let me do this for us".
Make sure your passports are current and valid! That may be the only thing you have to get him in on if they're not.
You could order the brochure from Couples which is like about a 8x10 thick book and leave it sitting somewhere so he will pick it up and start looking at it!! he can say "where did this come from?" and you can say " I dont know, it just showed up in the mail" I know it sounds pretty cheesy but I bet he would start looking thru it, I know my fiance would be in a heartbeat!! haha It takes weeks to get that brochure trust me, probably atleast 3 weeks! My fiance picks up everything and anything so it would work for us! Good luck!!
As a sous chef, I think you need to tell him what you have planned, There are times it is very difficult to leave work, I have lost one in the past on vacations where one minute I am set to go and the next day, I can't leave, this is one of those professions where the world could fall apart if you're not there.
Thanks everybody. But wrapping the birthday gift sounds nice. Save up the money... find out how HE feels first and then pay in one lump sum. Sounds wonderful. That way if he doesn't want to... I still have $$ to go somewhere else. I know I want couples SA but it's his choice. Thanks Mon... maria
This sounds like such a great idea that many would love. But as you really think about it you yourself said he is a very busy person who does not take time for himself. I understand you wanting to give him this wonderful vacation in paradise. My only concern is this... Some people (like myself) live life busy, fast paced and dont take much time for ourselves. As much as I know I deserve a vacation, want a vacation for my Husband to just make plans without me knowing ahead of time...that would spin me into a tailwind. We are heading to TI in January of 2012 and I am already planning the trip, I could never imagine not planning my own vacation and having all these days to count down to paradise. No matter how he takes it one thing is for sure. Once he is there with you he will forget how he ever got there or how it was planned! Have fun, let your love shine and be happy.
I just did the same thing to my husband...SUPRISE were going back to couples for your birthday! And he was so suprised in fact that he had no response really. I expected him to jump for joy and go nuts but he asked one million questions. It was a shocker. Hes more excited now and is really looking forward to it. We LOVE couples...but I am still a little disapointed by his reaction.
Men. Whatta ya gonna do..lol