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Thread: Vacation Guilt
November 26th, 2011, 04:49 PM #1
- Join Date
- Jun 2009
Can any of you relate to feeling guilty about going on vacation? Guilt because of what's going on in the world, or because someone you love isn't able to afford rent, much less a vacation? My mother-in-law has been unemployed for over a year now and it's been tremendously stressful for her and everyone who loves her. I'm usually the one who plans vacations for my husband and me, and I insist on them. Our next vacation is coming up in January and my mother-in-law's troubles have cast a gray cloud over any excitement and anticipation for our trip. This feeling is familiar to us, since my mom had similar troubles between '05 and '09 (during which time we planned and paid for our wedding and honeymoon and several vacations) and I can completely sympathize with the way my husband feels. However, we have been emotionally and financially supportive of my mother-in-law, and she also has a strong support system in her siblings and other children. It's just hard to convince my husband not to feel guilty and that our vacation is justified because we work very hard. We're a young couple in our late 20s and a combination of good luck and good choices have allowed us to live a nice lifestyle for our age. But I feel like I have to feel apologetic for having a (modest) car, a (modest) home, and money for vacation while some of our less fortunate family members don't have those things. Every time we treat ourselves to a dinner out, or new shoes, we feel guilt. Perhaps there's an argument for giving my mother-in-law the money we would otherwise spend on our vacation, but I have to be selfish and take care of my husband and myself first. We need time away - we need to re-charge and relax and spend time with each other, and we agreed when we bought our house that our vacations could not be sacrificed. It's a tough choice to make, but I made the same choice when my mom was going through rough times, and I know she wouldn't have wanted it any other way. I just feel so hurt that my husband can't look forward to our vacation, which is such a big treat for us and the only gift we give each other all year.