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Thread: Nervous wife

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
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    Default Nervous wife

    Visiting CN for the first time March 13 to 18. Can't wait. My wife and I have never gone AN before. She is very nervous and hesitant about it. Any suggestions on how to make her feel at ease and try AN?

  2. #2
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    Feb 2010
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    A couple of drinks and she won't be so nervous.

  3. #3
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    CSS April 29-May 10, 2013

  4. #4
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    Jun 2009
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    Have her read some of the first timer threads
    Everyone has those same nerves
    For most it is a great experience and hearing from them helps a lot

    John

  5. #5
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    Jul 2009
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    We were nervous about this also but found a few things that helped.
    1. Going early in our visit so that if we didn't like it we could say we tried it and not go back (which didn't happen).
    2. Going early in the day, before others got there, which gave us time by ourselves to get used to the AN idea.
    3. Sitting off to ourselves, near the bushes, allowed us to not feel so exposed to those passing by.
    4. Having a favorite alcoholic beverage helped take the edge off as well.
    It's one of those things that once you do it you'll wonder why you were nervous. By the end of the first day we were even willing to take a floatie (as a cover-up) and go for a swim in the ocean.

  6. #6

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    I was the same way before our first AN visit to SSB at CSS last February. I had a whole year from the time we booked until the day we hit the beach for me to wrap my head around AN. I decided that I would go for it. Just remember that AN means EVERYBODY. Your wife won't be the only nekkid person there. Nobody judges. No problem Mon!!
    12 days till CSS!!!

  7. #7
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    Feb 2012
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    13

    Default thanks for the advice.

    I appreciate the feed back and will try some of your suggestions. I think it is a little bit of a body image with her (although her body is fine). Be nice to meet some folks. Anyone going to be there the week of March 12th?
    Attached Images Attached Images  

  8. #8

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    Seems like a bunch of folks on the March Maniacs will be on the AN side...we'll look forward to meeting you!

    Bob

  9. #9

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    Quote Originally Posted by kjnshark View Post
    I appreciate the feed back and will try some of your suggestions. I think it is a little bit of a body image with her (although her body is fine). Be nice to meet some folks. Anyone going to be there the week of March 12th?
    First, a short rant:
    WHAT IS IT WITH WOMEN AND THEIR BODY IMAGES??

    (Yes, I know, media crams it down their throats that if they're anything larger than a size 0, they're horrifically overweight and should only wear muumuus and one piece suits)

    kjnshark, your wife is lovely and will fit right in on the AN beach. As has been said, no one judges, no one comments. As vacouple suggested, read over the Feedback thread on the AN experiences, and more importantly, have your wife read it over! My wife was very nervous about going AN, as neither of us had ever done such a thing before! We were at CTI, which is nice for the AN as the only place for it is the small Isle. You still get looky-loos going by on the hobie-cats, but it's not as big a deal as one would expect.

    Finally, I agree with Bart and Bug, go early. Both early in the am, and early in the trip, and give it a try. If you go on your first day, first thing after breakfast, and you / she doesn't like it, then you've gotten it out of the way and have the rest of your vacation. If you do like it, then you won't spend the last day or the trip home going "why didn't we try that sooner?"

    Lastly: My post in the Feedback thread on our trip: http://couples.com/mb/showthread.php...368#post151368

    Jason
    CTI again in 469 days!

  10. #10
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    Jan 2012
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    Quote Originally Posted by kjnshark View Post
    I appreciate the feed back and will try some of your suggestions. I think it is a little bit of a body image with her (although her body is fine). Be nice to meet some folks. Anyone going to be there the week of March 12th?
    As has already been said....she has nothing to worry about. She looks great, even bundled up in the jacket. Heck, who knows, the week you are there she may be the smallest woman on the beach and all the guys will be checking her out! Even if she isn't the smallest, she's beautiful and I am sure she will fit right in! Tell her to relax and as I like to say...If you've got it, flaunt it! And she's got IT!

  11. #11

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    kjnshark - I have NEVER met anyone...maybe I have been lucky...that tried AN facilities at a resort and regretted it. The only regrets that I have every heard...and experienced this ourselves...was not going earlier in the trip.

    Typically the two hangups are self image...which NEVER should be a problem...and those who cannot separate nudity and sexuality. The two do NOT have to go hand in hand...and should not.
    2012: Apr 22-29 Couples Tower Isle; Jul 21-28 HBR
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  12. #12
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    Nov 2011
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    We all have a first time and we all are a little bit nervous about it...one of the things that helped me in my early AN experiences was focusing not on the "perfect" bodies but on the less-than-perfect bodies, thinking if they can bare all, so can I.

    Really, as others have said, nobody cares, nobody judges - personality matters more than appearance...besides for the veteran AN people among us, we have seen hundreds if not thousands of nude people, so there is little we haven't seen before.
    CSS - March, 2012
    CTI - March, 2013, 2014, 2015

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
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    Go early in the trip and early in the morning. Head right of the tower - its pretty private there until 11 or so. You can even position yourselves facing away from the tower so no one can see you. This pic is of the last set of chairs (our spot) on the Island. (my bad, didn't see the CN reference)

    When you see the glass bottom boat, either moon them or roll over.Name:  20100822_1369.jpg
Views: 3611
Size:  37.3 KB
    Last edited by ct ti fan; February 13th, 2012 at 04:42 PM.

  14. #14

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    CTI fan - that's a good idea for when they go to CTI, but for this trip it's CN

    I was petrified! But I figured, what the heck, I'll never see these people again. Of course, we do see the same people again because we tend to travel the same time of year.

    One thing is this - people look you in the eye when carrying on a conversation. How often does that happen? You'll really like it at CN. The AN area is pretty quiet and alot of folks generally keep to themselves anyway. I wrap a floatie around me when I go out to the ocean but when I go to the bar or the washroom it's my birthday suit only.
    It's the kind of place where you can go and relax with your partner and/or get to know others if you want, it's up to you. You can meet people in the big jacuzzi and that's easy because you're all under water.

    Please try it your first day and go early if you can, set up your chairs the way you want, get your stuff out, go get a drink even, then disrobe like you do it every day (because you will be) and relax.

  15. #15
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    Jun 2009
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    No problem mon! You will find the folks so friendly that you will forget your worries so quickly!

  16. #16
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    Dec 2009
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    ct ti fan,
    Awesome pic! But it makes me miss the island even more.
    Don

  17. #17
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    Apr 2010
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    Ya know these body image posts always make me think of the movie Shallow Hal. What first timers don't realize is that it's as if Tony Robbins is standing at the entrance of the AN areas greeting everyone with a screaming "DEVILS COME OUT!" and from that point forward all anyone is seeing is everyone else's "Inner Beauty" just as their spouse does.

  18. #18

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    Kjnshark, We'll be arriving 3/15 and depending on the time of day we get there..we'll be heading off to the "island"...You'll both love it! ElectraGlide here! See ya there.

  19. #19
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    Jan 2012
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    I love your picture. so I have question are the towels already at the beach ??

  20. #20
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    Jun 2009
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    Quote Originally Posted by kjnshark View Post
    I appreciate the feed back and will try some of your suggestions. I think it is a little bit of a body image with her (although her body is fine). Be nice to meet some folks. Anyone going to be there the week of March 12th?
    ***We second everything that Bart and Bug said -- most assuredly yall will love it! If she decides it's not her thing, then no worries,regroup and go over to the clothed beach or pool...

    Noting your Harley gear - we like ya already!! LOL Hubby rides his every day (and I mean, every day!)

    We will be there 3/9-19 - looking forward to meeting you!
    Check out the March Maniacs 2012 thread on the Meet Up board - a lot of us going during that time!

    Rhonda

  21. #21

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    We booked SR this year but we've gone to TI or the last three years and we always spend some time on the island. I was the very nervous wife the first time that we went. The suggestions for easing into it are great. Our first trip was just after the CTI remodel and there weren't so many people so that helps.

    What amazes me most is what the folks who don't go natural say, the comments that some person or another didn't have the body for it, as if the whole thing were a show designed to delight the boaters passing by. Nothing could be further from the truth. Most people on the island or AN beaches are very intentionally NOT ogling each other. Som

  22. #22

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    I was once the nervous wife. My husband really wanted to go AN and it didn't help that he had done it before elsewhere with someone else, but that's another story. :-)

    We arrived at CTI, and I'm pretty sure he planned it specifically BECAUSE the island was there, and I didn't want him to be disappointed, so we went to the island, and just like everyone says, 15 minutes and you're over it and having a great time. If not, and if it really isn't for you, there are plenty of other things to do and other people to mingle with, just find out early in the vacation.

    We've been to the island three years in a row and we did the Secret Rendezvous so we don't know where we will be this year, but if there's AN we will be IN.

    The thing that really bothers me is that when we are at the resort, as opposed to the island, people are talking about the islanders/SSBers/etc., as thought they have no idea that the partakers are right there among them. They say we are swingers and can't be convinced otherwise.

    Maybe worse, they comment about those who should not be showing their bodies, as if it were about the fleshly exhibit that is supposed to be enticing and pleasing to those passing by on the boats for a lookie loo.

    IT IS SO NOT ABOUT ANY OF THAT. (OK, there are some exhibitionists too, but they are the exception, not the norm)

    It's about being natural, relaxed, letting go of inhibitions and moving to the next level, together as a couple, or socially, whatever your comfort level is. If it's not your cup of tea, then it isn't, but don't assume or judge.

    Once you go, you know.

  23. #23

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    I agree that the only regret would be Not doing it. We chickened out. We walked right up to the nude beach sign at CN, prepared to go in, and then backed out...and we've regretted it since. Life is too short not to live with gusto and try everything. Why not? We are heading back to CN in 70 days and you better believe we are doing it this time. Even if we are only there for a few minutes and do hate it, at least we can say we did it. Right now, we don't have that experience....but we will!

    Looks like all newbies to the AN feel the same insecurities. I am going to TRUST all these lovely people who tell me that there is absolutely nothing to be worried about.

  24. #24
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
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    Twenty-five days and counting and I guess I will find out. Appreciate everyones thoughts. Dont know if I should ask her to read all the responses all she will be mad I posted, lol. Beachwed2007, I already checked in on the March Maniacs thread and I am on the calendar. We will be there during the same time. Wish I could ride my Heritage Softail everyday, but the weather in Rhode Island does not always cooperate. See you soon.

  25. #25

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    kjnshark,

    I would suggest having her read the responses! I doubt she'd be mad, maybe more a bit embarrassed about it (after all, maybe *gasp* her PARENTS will read this!) Just let her know you're trying to allay any fears or concerns she has. Make the suggestion that the two of you go the first (full) day you're there, and if she doesn't like it, you can walk away and do other things.

    Now, this is directed to Mrs kjnshark: Go! You'll fit right in, no one judges, and if nothing else, how many of the people at the AN beach are you likely to see when you get home? Take a book along, stretch out on a lounger, and relax in the warm Jamaican sunshine!

    Jason
    CTI in 465 days!

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