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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Posts
    627

    Default How soon to go after a baby?

    Well Mrs. SublimeBrad is pregnant and our first child is due this August. We went to CSA last May for my birthday and we started trying then to have a baby. So for that reason we decided not to go in 2012 because it would be too hard to plan if she did get pregnant (we like to drink), and it would help save for the baby. Well now we have the CSA itch. We are thinking about booking a trip for June 2013 when the baby will be 10 months old. We have all the grandparents in town begging for the chance to watch our child, but Im sure it will depend on how things go before we decide to leave for a week.

    I am just curious how long some of you waited after having a child, especially the first one, before taking a trip on your own for a week. I know many people couldnt dare leave their kid after less than a year, and maybe we will feel that way too.
    "One good thing about music, when it hits you, you feel no pain" - Bob Marley

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Posts
    770

    Default

    Our first trip away was when our son was 10 months old, and it was for only two nights.... It was almost too long and it was only about an hour drive away. Honestly, I would wait until your child is at least a year old, especially if Mrs. SublimeBrad decides to nurse. (Yes, yes, yes!!!) Since hopefully, she will still be nursing at 10 months, and you absolutely cannot go away for a week if she is. We, ahem, had a second child right after our first one turned 2, but we did go away for almost a week when I was 7 months pregnant and DS#1 was 18 months old. Even though you both DO drink, being at CSA pregnant would still be wonderful. I know I had a great time traveling at 7 mos, even though I usually drink, and my DH and friends all did. It was just so nice to lay on a beach and not have to work/cook/clean, etc.

    I would schedule your first trip away for after the 1 year mark. Maybe like 18 months, and go for a trip now instead.

    Oh -- and thank your lucky stars that you have willing grandparents. I can tell you from experience, though, that they might not be so keen on a second time after a week with a 10 month old. LOL. (As a side note, they become keen again VERY quickly when the kids are older. Mine are 9 and 11 now, and Mima LOVES having the kids for the week!)

    Congrats!
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  3. #3

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    We waited 22 years after the birth of our first child to take an adult vacation!!

    Waay to long if you ask me!

  4. #4

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    13 months for us... We returned to cn... With skpe and wifi at resort the wife was more than happy to see her everyday... And we had great vacation

  5. #5

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    My wife and I just had our second in July last year and we are going to CTI in 3 weeks... Both my 6 year old and my 7 month old are staying with the granparents... very easy to stay in touch via the computer lab or the availabe Wifi... book and don't worry, just remember to protect your trip with insurance.

    Claude

  6. #6

    Default

    We waited till our youngest of 4 was 15.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sublimebrad View Post
    Well Mrs. SublimeBrad is pregnant and our first child is due this August. We went to CSA last May for my birthday and we started trying then to have a baby. So for that reason we decided not to go in 2012 because it would be too hard to plan if she did get pregnant (we like to drink), and it would help save for the baby. Well now we have the CSA itch. We are thinking about booking a trip for June 2013 when the baby will be 10 months old. We have all the grandparents in town begging for the chance to watch our child, but Im sure it will depend on how things go before we decide to leave for a week.

    I am just curious how long some of you waited after having a child, especially the first one, before taking a trip on your own for a week. I know many people couldnt dare leave their kid after less than a year, and maybe we will feel that way too.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Posts
    78

    Default

    We may be trying to create one while at CSA.. Good luck in your pregnancy! Don't gain too much sympathy weight. lol

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Posts
    307

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Sublimebrad View Post
    Well Mrs. SublimeBrad is pregnant and our first child is due this August. We went to CSA last May for my birthday and we started trying then to have a baby. So for that reason we decided not to go in 2012 because it would be too hard to plan if she did get pregnant (we like to drink), and it would help save for the baby. Well now we have the CSA itch. We are thinking about booking a trip for June 2013 when the baby will be 10 months old. We have all the grandparents in town begging for the chance to watch our child, but Im sure it will depend on how things go before we decide to leave for a week.

    I am just curious how long some of you waited after having a child, especially the first one, before taking a trip on your own for a week. I know many people couldnt dare leave their kid after less than a year, and maybe we will feel that way too.
    10 months is the perfect time. It's exactly when we left ours for the first time to go to CSA. Get travel insurance, of course, in case something big comes up, but it's a great time to go. The baby is hardy enough to stay with grandparents but not yet at the stage where there is stranger anxiety or problems being left by Mom and Dad.

    It will go just fine - it's exactly what we did with our baby (who is a first baby). We were gone for 5 days, and it was great for everyone - baby, us, and grandparents. I feel like if we'd gone too much later, it would have been hard on him to be left, and if we'd gone too much sooner, it would have been harder on grandparents to watch him. I thought 10 months worked perfectly, and the break we got was so wonderful. It was nice to have something to look forward to, too, during those early sleepless nights. I say go for it, and don't let anyone try to make you feel guilty for going (and they will).

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Posts
    1,250

    Default

    This may sound heartless, but I recommend you go as soon as you can. As you said, you have the grandparents ready to step in, and I know they will want to. The baby really won't know you're gone. Especially if you go before ten months. The longer you wait, the harder it will be for you to leave the new baby. And the older the baby becomes, the more he/she will be aware of your absence. After all the energy that goes in to having that first child, both of you deserve a break. Because it will probably be quite some time before you can see your way clear to take another vacation.
    Just my humble opinion.

    And early congratulations for when you do have her/him.

    Richie

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Posts
    1,036

    Default

    As long as you are comfortable with the people that are taking care of your baby, any age is a good age to leave. I think the earliest we left one of our kids was when our daughter was 6 months old. 10 months old is a great age and if you have grandparents willing to care for the baby that is even better. You are very lucky to have such great family. Congrats on the baby and do whatever you are comfortable with and you'll be fine.

  11. #11

    Default

    I left mine when she was a couple months old for a 3/4 day weekend. You have to remember to put your marriage first, then children. Kids grow up and leave, but you have to maintain your marriage and intimacy throughout it all.
    Jamie & David
    CN 11/2005 & 10/2008 & 11/2011
    CSS 9/2007, 9/2009, 9/2010, 11/2011, 9/2012, 9/2013
    CTI 9/2013

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Posts
    444

    Default

    All I will say is that both sets of Grandparents managed to raise both of you right? You both came out OK? GO!! Have fun....the baby will be in PERFECT hands.....you will both need the break. You will have another 17 years 2 months to have the baby under your wings before she/he heads off to college and bigger headaches start....heheheheh.....LOLOLOLOLOL

    Seriously.....you always have 46 days to cancel with no penalties. Go ahead and book, if you feel for some reason you simply cannot leave your precious little bundle you can cancel.

    Big Hugs and Warm Wishes for a blessed beginning of your new family.

    Momma Frodo

  13. #13

    Default

    I would wait until you have had the baby to book a trip. Only you can tell how comfortable you will be and you won't know how you feel about it until the baby is born.

  14. #14

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    We went to Couples Negril when our twins were 10 months old. What can I say? We were desperate for a break We only stayed for 5 days and emailed and called my parents everyday.
    This time, the girls are 4 and we are going to CTI for a week I will miss them like crazy, but Mommy and Daddy need a vacation.

  15. #15

    Default

    It took us over 20 years before we left the first one to go on vacation. Of course there was also #2 that was 15. At that point, though, we weren't sure if Grandma & Grandpa were watching the kids, or if the kids were watching Grandma & Grandpa!! G & G were actually there for #2. #1 was on his own...
    3 more days till CSS!!!

  16. #16

    Default

    we have 4 kids so its not that hard for us to leave them for a vacation anymoer! It really depends on the baby and the babysitter...my last one is 15mnths old and he is my fussiest child i ever had so its really hard to leave him with just anybody, but if you baby is comfy with one of their grandparents i say GO FOR IT

  17. #17

    Default

    This is a funny question - from personal experience - the more kids you have the sooner you are ready to go - hated leaving my oldest with my mom for a trip to New York at 13 months to letting my mom take my third one to Alaska for three months when she was 8 months old (now mom was the live in caretaker since the third one was born and they were attached to each other and they are close to this day).

    You will know once your child arrives - do what feels right. It does not make you bad parents to want to have some recharge time for yourselves!

  18. #18
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Posts
    113

    Default

    Our first child was 24 years old before we could afford our first trip to CSA, dem little buggers are expensive

    Mick

  19. #19
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Posts
    188

    Default

    Oh geeze! We're expecting our first baby in Sept. I'm in the same boat as you guys though. We planed to go back to CTI for our first anniversary (in October) so that won't be happening. But I'm thinking we will want to go somewhere maybe in the winter. Also not sure how we'll feel about it since this is our first too...but I so want to get back to Couples! Best of luck!

  20. #20
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Posts
    295

    Default

    We left our oldest when he was 10 months old for a trip to Jamaica for our 5 year anniversary. We came home with our youngest At that age I think it was harder for us than for him. They are happy to see you when you get home but they really don't have any concept of time...

    Amy

  21. #21
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Posts
    328

    Default

    Thats a tough question to answer in general terms.

    We have friends who went on a vacation for a week about 10 days after their second child was born. We have nieces and nephews in the 10-14 years old range who have never had a babysitter, including family.

    Its going to come down to your comfort level with the grandparents and how well you and the Mrs. handle leaving your child in someone else's hands. I would suggest going on an overnight or weekend away before you plan on taking a week.

  22. #22
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Posts
    30

    Default

    Congrats and best wishes to you and your wife!

    I really belive it is important that you and your wife make time for each other after your child is born. Never forget your commitment to one another. Kids and their lives often cause you to forget 'your' lives.

    But 'how long' before you do go away will be a choice you make once your little one is born. We've known people who were able to go right away and some who never went anywhere without their kids. The only thin I can say for sure is that you BOTH must be comfortable with the decision or no one enjoys themselves.

    Last thing, cherish the times with your children. It goes by quick. Our 'baby' (child # 3) goes to college this fall. To celebrate that milestone and our 20th Anniversary, we renewed our vows last year at CSS. It was amazing. The staff at CSS were fantastic.

    Best wishes!

    P.S. once your kids are grown you'll have much more time to reunite. My wife and I will be at CTI this Friday. Thank God!!!!!

  23. #23
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Posts
    82

    Default

    We went to CN 8 months after our first son was born. Her parents watched him while we were gone.

  24. #24
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Posts
    277

    Default

    All I can say is that everyone is different and the number of replies you get will the number of different opinions you will get. There is no-one on earth who can answer this question for you. As a male I can understand that there is a desire to keep the relationship fresh and perhaps offer some R & R for your good lady wife/partner. Couples is the perfect place for one with such intentions however, the one to ask is your wife really as she is the one who is most likely to suffer the emotional pull of her baby.

    I hope it all works out and you can both enjoy a trip somewhere. My guess is that you end up having your week-long holiday but in a place a tad closer to home (just in case of emotional emergency!).

  25. #25

    Default

    Well, we went to CN when our LO was 8 months old. My parents watched him and it was all OK....EXCEPT...when I got home he REFUSED to nurse. I mean completely refused and would not go back at all. I had to pump for months. Also if your wife is nursing, something she might want to consider: She'll have to pump and dump while on vacation. It's not fun to have to keep going back to your room to pump, knowing you are going to have to throw it out anyway. But, in order to keep her milk flowing she will have to do this while on vaca.

    My advice: anytime if fine but if you are nursing I'd wait until weaned before going on vacation.

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