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  1. #1

    Default Singles at Couples?

    We are booked for next year and have been in the process of talking to other family member and getting them to join us. On a previous trip my wife's brother and sister have both joined us along with their significant others and we had a great time. We suffered the loss of my wife's sister to cancer before her and her husband could book to go w/us next year, and now my brother-in-law isn't sure if he should still be going or not. He is still interested in going with us as they had planned, but isn't sure if that would be appropriate or not. He wouldn't be some single guy looking to "hook up", just looking to spend time w/family and take the vacation he and his wife had been planning. He asked me what I thought since I am the family's official Couples spokesperson, but I'm not exactly sure what to tell him. Thoughts?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
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    1,282

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    our condolences for your loss.

    Not sure if going to a resort set up for a romantic vacation would be the best place for him.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
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    681

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    Some people here are convinced that anyone not standing right next to their spouse at all times is a problem at a resort called "Couples" .... and others (like me) take a live and let live view and don't feel like we need to police the resort and instead just go with whatever judgement Couples management deems appropriate in any given situation. If Couples management accepts him most people at the resort will too. The hurdle to cross is not us here in this board, it's Couples management. Check with them and then proceed from there would be my advice. Best of luck!

  4. #4

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    Singles aren't allowed but he can share a room with someone. Bare in mind they only have king beds so he would have to share a bed with that person. If two males or two females share a room they are booked as
    a same sex couple. I verified and confirmed this info for my son's wedding in June. I was inquiring for
    his sisters. Hope this helps.
    Glenna Hailey
    Jerry Hailey
    Couples Certified and Preferred agency!
    Life's to short to spend it on the couch, find a beach and watch the sunset.

  5. #5

    Default

    So sorry for your families loss. Prayers go out to all of you.

    I don't think it would be allowed fro him to go, and IMO even if it was I really don't see how he would enjoy it especially seeing everyone else paired up, if it were me that would really make me feel sad.

    Just a thought you may love Couples but to include him in your vacation maybe you would be better going to a different resort, or spend some time somewhere where he could go and would see other singles or non couples.

    Good luck whatever you do.

    PV

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
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    It's Couples. Maybe another location if you want to vacation with him,

  7. #7
    Join Date
    May 2011
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    I don't know what the official response would be, but as an avid Couples goer I for one would consider this a fair exception to the rule.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
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    709

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    We say he should go. We have no problem with a few singles who are there with family members. Its all about love and there is not stronger love than family. He probably really needs this. Losing your wife is hard enough... We say, go have some fun. Others may not agree, but too bad....

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
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    3

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    He should go for sure!
    My dad went to an all inclusive resort in Riviera Maya with us on a family vaca. as a single in a resort for couples and he had a great time.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
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    A lot of people are probably going to say no and that Couples is called Couples for a reason but I don't really agree with that. They allow a small number of singles there at a time and I think this is a perfect example of when they should be allowed. If my husband and I were planning a trip there and I passed away I would want him to be able to go without me. I would probably want to go if I were the one left behind as well. People will also talk about the romantic atmosphere and how everything is designed for couples and I don't necessarily agree with that either. Plenty of groups go together and you will always find a group where the men hang out together doing one thing and the women are together doing another. That doesn't bother anyone and nobody seems to notice so I doubt anyone would ever figure out that he is alone unless he tells them. I think the best thing to do is to call Couples directly and see if they will allow him to to book during the dates you want to travel.

  11. #11

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    As an avid tennis player while at SweptAway, I often end up playing with "singles" or as a "single"...and in some cases, the spouses never leave the beach. So...he would not stand out so much as a single if he is active throughout the day. On my last visit, there was a single man there. His "date" had to cancel at the last minute so he came anyway - hoping to have him join him at a later time in the vacation. He did not look out of place. I think the main issue (besides management's point of view) is whether or not your b-i-l will feel comfortable and enjoy his time there.

  12. #12

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by melody View Post
    A lot of people are probably going to say no and that Couples is called Couples for a reason but I don't really agree with that. They allow a small number of singles there at a time and I think this is a perfect example of when they should be allowed. If my husband and I were planning a trip there and I passed away I would want him to be able to go without me. I would probably want to go if I were the one left behind as well. People will also talk about the romantic atmosphere and how everything is designed for couples and I don't necessarily agree with that either. Plenty of groups go together and you will always find a group where the men hang out together doing one thing and the women are together doing another. That doesn't bother anyone and nobody seems to notice so I doubt anyone would ever figure out that he is alone unless he tells them. I think the best thing to do is to call Couples directly and see if they will allow him to to book during the dates you want to travel.
    I somewhat agree, but This is a COUPLES resort, and allowing singles, is and should be unacceptable period; Jamaica is full of family style resorts that will accomodate, singles, couples, families with kids etc, there is absolutely no reason that Couples should allow single guests to stay at a COUPLES ONLY resort...However in this case, they should allow him to stay..

  13. #13

    Default

    Without a doubt, the decision here would lie with Couples management. Best of luck to you and your family.

    But generally speaking without regard to the specific situation addressed here, where do they draw the line for "exceptions" to the rules? What is justified and what isn't? I know there are already exceptions to the "couples-only" policy for weddings. And I know that parents sometimes bring their over-18 single children and book them in a room as a couple. With all due respect, Couples is not a family resort. It is about couples in love, not families in love.

    And what about the rules concerning the nude beach? Guests seem to always be trying to make exceptions for why they shouldn't have to go totally nude or why they should be able to go there without their spouses.

    And then there is the dress code for the fancy restaurants. How many guys complain that the long pants and closed-toed shoes rules shouldn't be enforced in a tropical setting and either try to get around it or disregard it altogether?

    The problem with "exceptions" is that once they are allowed for some, then others will follow. And that is where the dynamics and atmosphere of the resort can become altered. The rules are established to please the masses, not the few. And Couples needs to continue to enforce the rules to maintain its distinction from the other AI adults-only resorts.

  14. #14
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Posts
    165

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    I think this opens a big can of worms. Who is to decide if your reason for wanting to go to Couples is a good enough reason to stretch the rules of attendance. I am sure many people could find something that they believe would give them a pass on the couple portion.

  15. #15
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
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    He just lost his wife, so honestly I don't see taking him to a resort that caters to couples as being a good thing right now. I know if my boyfriend died, the last thing I'd want to do is go somewhere that reminded me of him and all the things we used to do when he was alive and we were together. Maybe after he's grieved awhile it wouldn't be so bad. But right now, might not be the best time for his emotional health and healing process.

  16. #16
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
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    636

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    Well said rhallva!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by rhallva View Post
    Some people here are convinced that anyone not standing right next to their spouse at all times is a problem at a resort called "Couples" .... and others (like me) take a live and let live view and don't feel like we need to police the resort and instead just go with whatever judgement Couples management deems appropriate in any given situation. If Couples management accepts him most people at the resort will too. The hurdle to cross is not us here in this board, it's Couples management. Check with them and then proceed from there would be my advice. Best of luck!

  17. #17
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Posts
    80

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    One of the many reasons that I love Couples is that it IS couples only. I feel very comfortable in the thought that I can leave my wife at the bar while I go take a nap and don't have to worry about someone hitting on her.

    While I'm sure that the original poster's brother in law would not pose such a threat, Jamaica Junkie put it more eloquently than I could; Where do you draw the line?

  18. #18

    Default

    jamaican_junkie, I agree with your post.
    Dianavr

  19. #19
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    Jul 2009
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    1,743

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    Quote Originally Posted by jamaican_junkie View Post
    Without a doubt, the decision here would lie with Couples management. Best of luck to you and your family.

    But generally speaking without regard to the specific situation addressed here, where do they draw the line for "exceptions" to the rules? What is justified and what isn't? I know there are already exceptions to the "couples-only" policy for weddings. And I know that parents sometimes bring their over-18 single children and book them in a room as a couple. With all due respect, Couples is not a family resort. It is about couples in love, not families in love.

    And what about the rules concerning the nude beach? Guests seem to always be trying to make exceptions for why they shouldn't have to go totally nude or why they should be able to go there without their spouses.

    And then there is the dress code for the fancy restaurants. How many guys complain that the long pants and closed-toed shoes rules shouldn't be enforced in a tropical setting and either try to get around it or disregard it altogether?

    The problem with "exceptions" is that once they are allowed for some, then others will follow. And that is where the dynamics and atmosphere of the resort can become altered. The rules are established to please the masses, not the few. And Couples needs to continue to enforce the rules to maintain its distinction from the other AI adults-only resorts.

    Very, very well said. I couldn't agree more!
    [
    CN 2006, CSS 2009, CN 2009, CN 2010, CTI 2010, CN 2011, CSS 2012, CN 2012, CN 2013, CSA 2014, CN 2014, CSA 2015, CN 2015

  20. #20
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    Jun 2009
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    First, condolences, I can not even begin to imagine. But I have to agree with Jamacian Junkie. My first thought was, yes there should be an exception made, after all it is family, he just lost his wife, etc. Where do you draw the line.

    Recently there was a post on TA about a family that booked at CSS, mom, dad and two daughters. Seems the daughters were staying in a room together. Couples is a couples resort, not a family resort.

  21. #21
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Posts
    156

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    I am a young widow. I can tell you that being at a resort like Couples before I was re-partnered would have made my grief so much worse. I advise against it.

  22. #22
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    Jun 2009
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    Quote Originally Posted by jamaican_junkie View Post

    The problem with "exceptions" is that once they are allowed for some, then others will follow. And that is where the dynamics and atmosphere of the resort can become altered. The rules are established to please the masses, not the few. And Couples needs to continue to enforce the rules to maintain its distinction from the other AI adults-only resorts.
    Perfect.

  23. #23

    Default

    Here is a cut and paste of the Couples policy on this:

    COUPLES ONLY
    All rooms are double occupancy unless you are traveling as part of a contracted group. In such event, single occupancy rooms may be requested, subject to availability, with the implicit understanding that there is no rate reduction or discount. Double occupancy rates will apply..

    I would suggest talking to a representative of Couples to explain the problem if you intend to still all try to go there, though, there may be better locations for your group's situation. At the bottom of the Couples Site is a contact us link. Give it a shot.

  24. #24

    Default

    First, I am very sorry for your loss. Losing a family member is a horrible thing.

    As far as singles go, here is my experience. We went to CN last fall, it was low season and there was a big wedding the week we were there. This was out first experience at Couple's and we were expecting a romantic week spent with other couples. Upon arrival we enjoyed the couples lounge, had a few drinks and got on the bus. We happened to be one of two couples on a full bus, most of the rest were singles going to the wedding so they all knew each other. The guys were pretty toasty and making negative comments about how dirty and poor looking everything was (so annoying and disrespectful), and the girls spent the 2 hour ride loudly gossiping about their friends. Needless to say, by the time we got to the resort my wife and I both had a headache from all the negative gossip, and were wondering if we had made a mistake.

    After getting checked in we loved our stay. We ran into the wedding party all over the resort for a few days, it was a large wedding. The presence of singles didn't ruin our vacation, we loved our trip and would go back in a second. However, the singles definitely did take away from the romantic couples only atmosphere we had anticipated, and did mess us up for the 1st day. Once we shook off the terrible bus ride experience we were able to settle in and really relax and enjoy ourselves. However we did notice that after a few days when they left there was a noticeable difference in the atmosphere of the entire resort, it became a much more romantic place.

    I know your brother-in-law would not be like these other singles we encountered, but I have to agree with Jamaican Junkie. The rules keep these resorts the romantic escape most of us are looking for when we book a vacation here.

  25. #25
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
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    226

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    Well said jamaican_junkie.

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