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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
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    4

    Default Getting her to try it

    So my wife is hesitant to try the A/N thing, and I was wondering if anyone has any advice on convincing her to give it a try. I am not going to push her to do something she is not comfortable with, our relationship is worth more than that. Everyone says once you try it you will love it, but how can I convince her to give it a try? She is a beautiful girl, fit, late 30's, but just nervous about having strangers see her naked. Anyone have similar experience that can give some good advice? Thanks!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Posts
    170

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    There is maybe 25 threads about this subject with every possible way to approach this. Take a look thru some of them and you will prbably get many good ideas on how to approach the subject, and also how not to.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Posts
    21

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    My wife was the same way initially when we first hit the AN beach at CN. We had talked about it and when we got there we both decided to just go for it and walked onto the beach, stripped down, and quickly sat down. Unlike our inital fears, no one stared (other than some of the textile folks walking by), and we didnt feel "out of place." Within about 15 minutes we both felt comfortable enough to apply suntan lotion to each other where we previously hadn't, and then she made ME go get drinks at the bar. Within the hour we were on our way into the water with a floatie wrapped around us, but laid out naked in the water. We bumped into another younger couple from MN who was there as well and just struck up a conversation. When we walked out of the water the floaties were dragging behind us and my wife invited the couple to move their lounge chairs next to ours. Long story short, we ended up spending the entire week together with our new found friends! In fact we found the folks on the AN beach to be more friendly than most at the resort! Now we have returned 5 times to CN and will be back again March 23-30, 2013 for #6. Honestly we aren't comfortable on a textile beach anymore. Have her read some of the posts on here and then just try it. . .

  4. #4

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    Bring her into the forums here, have her browse through the "Feedback after your vacation" topic, for starters. As my wife and I found out, once you're at the A/N area (or Isle at CTI,) it doesn't take long to stop noticing. Nobody stares / ogles / etc, it's in a lot of ways no different than being on a regular beach.

    Suggest giving it a try on your first full day, right after breakfast, with the understanding that if (after giving it a try, if only for an hour) she really doesn't want to do it again, then you don't and continue to enjoy your vacation. The advantages to this (and it's how the wife and I did it,) is:
    1. If you enjoy it, you're not going home with the "why didn't we try it sooner" woes.
    2. If you don't enjoy it, you found out quick, and managed to avoid the (possible) "why don't we give it a try today, sweetheart?" pester problem.

    Yes, it is a *very* strange feeling to be removing your clothes in "public" like that, but once you're settled on your loungers, it's rather easy to stop thinking about it.

    Jason

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Posts
    311

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    Sit down with your lady and take some time to read this...it was meant for people with doubts. I would hazard a guess that this will allay 99% of your fears, the remaining 1% are not worth worrying about!

    http://couples.com/mb/showthread.php?t=10073

    I can assure you that you will never regret taking the AN plunge. And, should you decide to go for it please revisit the feedback thread on this section and let us know how you got on. It is not only success stories we want but just feedback. If you don't like it then there is nothing lost but my expectation is that you will never return to the textile side, for all sorts of reasons. AN at Couples is nothing other than people being happy in their skin. No-one gawks, no-one judges and there are very, very few perfect bodies, except, of course, your partners! If shape is a concern then consider it a non problem. You will know immediately you get there what I am talking about. Many of the biggest people I have seen are happy naked and this can only be a good thing. Try it on day one, that way you'll enjoy the freedom and benefits of AN for your whole holiday. If you really don't like it (unlikely!) then just return to the textile side and enjoy the other benefits that are legion at Couples.

    Enjoy!

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Posts
    25

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    Just don't push it too hard! Bring it up as a fun, casual option as in "Hey whatever happens in Jamaica, stays in Jamaica" and be willing to accept "No" as an answer. First time my wife swore up and down that there wasn't enough rum in Jamaica to get her to try it, but then once we were at CTI I jokingly asked her when were we going to take the boat over to island and she basically said "after we finish these two drinks, but you'll have to get up and get us more once we're on the island" and off we went.

    I won't say that she loved it, but she has been willing to go to the AN side all the times that we've been to Couples, though she still insists that we sit in the most out of the way spot possible.

  7. #7

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ht View Post
    So my wife is hesitant to try the A/N thing, and I was wondering if anyone has any advice on convincing her to give it a try. I am not going to push her to do something she is not comfortable with, our relationship is worth more than that. Everyone says once you try it you will love it, but how can I convince her to give it a try? She is a beautiful girl, fit, late 30's, but just nervous about having strangers see her naked. Anyone have similar experience that can give some good advice? Thanks!
    We were at SSB earlier this year. Before leaving on our trip (first ever to Jamaica) I talked to my wife about trying the AN beach. The response was don't even bring it up again its not happening. So that is exactly what I did, just kept quite about it. We arrived late in the evening so later that night after dark I said lets just go over and take a look around and we did. Still I got the not going to happen thing and didn't mention it anymore. The next morning after breakfast and some drinks and by the way it was a beautiful sunny morning she said we can go over for a little while but if she decided that it was not for her or she was uncomfortable we would leave immediately. So with great excitement I eagerly agreed and off we went with the idea of getting to the far right where we would be by ourselves. Once there we found that someone else had beat us to the spot and there were already quite a few people there. Much to my amazement it was me who chickened out getting all nervous and could not go in, after all this was our first time. So we left and settled for the common beach and had a good time while there. The next morning we decided to get an early start to assure of getting the spot we wanted. So after a great breakfast we got ready and primed up with some drinks even mixing some extra drinks in the soda bottles from the in room bar so that we didn't have to get up once we had settled in. We arrived and to our shock we had been beaten once again but we had decided that today was the day and in we went. After quickly looking around trying to get as far away from everyone else as possible we ended up where else but front and center. We staked our claim and off came everything but our nervous smiles. Once down the nervous jitters melted away in the hot sun and we enjoyed our soda bottle drinks and got very comfortable. After an hour or so the drinks had to go and we had waited as long as we could hold on to them. We got up the nerve and headed to the bathrooms. Ahhhh relief and heck while we're here lets get some more drinks. So drinks in hand we strolled casually back and from then on it was smooth sailing. No one starred or gawked everyone was nice and friendly it was great and we stayed until closing or the sunset crowd arrived. We spent every day on the AN beach after that and loved every minute. My wife later told me that she would have went in the first day without hesitation if I would have. What a great vacation it was unbelievable and we can't wait to get back. My wife said that next time we will spend our time around the pool. Now thats a change. So let it go, no pressure just give it a try with the understanding that if either of you are uncomfortable you can just pack up and leave. But I really don't think that you will want to.

    Dick

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Posts
    4

    Default

    Thanks everyone! I have had her read some of the "Feedback after your vacation" thread. I think a lot of the reason there are so many threads on the same subject is we all want some personal encouragement before we take the plunge for the first time. Going to an AN beach is not something she had ever considered, so the thought of doing it was initially a little shocking to her. Her first reaction is to not want another man to see her naked, and also not want me to see other women naked. I'm trying to convince her that's not the point, but...

    When we first talked about it she said she would be ok with AN sunbathing in private, or on a balcony where no one could see or something similar. So I think there's hope! Not to brag, but based on my reading of the board here I think she would be one of the more attractive naked bodies there, but I am biased!! For me I think this is just one of those things in life I want to try, with her of course. It seems like sitting on a beach with nothing on, in the sun, with a drink or three in my hand would be the best stress relief from the daily grind I can imagine.

    Thanks for all of your thoughts, if anyone has any other advice or stories of building up your partner to give it a try I would love to here them.

    Ht

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
    Posts
    369

    Default

    Don't push her, but I think the approach that works best is: Make a deal and see if she is willing to go for 30 minutes, have a couple of drinks find a lounger away from the bar and the crowd. Then if she is still uncomfortable after that, leave and don't bring it up again.
    By no means am I being disrespectful here, but if there are 40 or 50 naked couples (no singles allowed) doing there own thing... partying talking, drinking, sleeping, reading a book and having a great time, what makes her think they are going to stop what they are doing just to get a look at another naked person? Once you get there and disrobe, take a look around and you will see what I mean. There are likely a bunch of other first timers with the same nervousness as your wife and you wouldn't even know who they were.
    Don't wait till the end of your vacation try it the first day. So many couples have waited till the last day, tried it and regretted not going sooner.
    You can stay by yourselves if' you want to and just enjoy the awesome feeling of swimming and laying in the sun naked right next to the love of your life. But you can't experience that unless you try it!

  10. #10

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    Make sure you go the first day because both of you will love it!!

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Posts
    11

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    “Once you go you know” is a wonderful sentiment, but not quite our experience. What my wife knows is that I love it-- and she loves me—but even after going it’s still not her idea of a fun or relaxing time. She has no issue with being naked in general—at home or in private—just not with other people. She went to SSB because it made me happy… and it wasn’t soooo bad! We’ll probably find a nice private beach next time—but I’d love to come back to SSB someday soon.

  12. #12

    Default

    HT, one thing I noticed when we were at CTI, and even more since then (we've gone to a nudeist resort near our home a couple times over this past summer,) is that after the first few moments, a couple things happen:
    1. You cease to really "notice" anything below about the shoulders when you're talking to someone
    2. In some ways, how to say this without getting crude, much less "interesting" than on a beach with swimwear (maybe the total lack of mystery?)

    I guess the best suggestion would depend on which resort you're going to, *IF* she agrees to try it. Namely, once at the AN section, each one has a spot that is not as "populated." CTI, the right side of the Isle past the tower when you get off the boat is the "quiet" side (the bar is on the left) and tends to have fewer people (although this might depend on how full the resort is.) I believe based on other postings that right side of the AN area at CSA is similar.

    Regardless, the two of you should only make one resolution for your vacation, to go and enjoy yourselves together regardless of what you do.

    Because that's really what it's all about, ain't it?
    The hokey-pokey I mean...

    Jason
    CTI again in:
    234 days
    18 hours
    22 minutes

  13. #13

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    As a woman, I'll add my experience to this thread. The first time my husband and I did a nude vacation (actually C/O) was about 5 years ago, to Club O on St. Martin. Funny thing - the vacation was my idea and my husband was very skeptical about a C/O vacation. I finally convinced him to go but once we got there a surprising thing happened - all of a sudden I was the shy one and he got nude within about 5 minutes. He spend the entire week nude, while I was only comfortable being nude while lying on the beach. If I had to get up to go to the bathroom or the bar I would put my cover up back on.

    Over the years we've done quite a few more vacations where there was a C/O and/or nude option and each time it has gotten easier and easier for me. We just returned from CN a couple of weeks ago, and I can honestly say I felt more comfortable there than anywhere else. I confidently went into the water totally nude, went to the beach bar nude, and never felt the need for a cover-up or to use the floatie to hide myself. I felt totally comfortable and had no worries or thoughts that somebody was judging me.

    I'm sharing my experience because so many people say "go to A/N once and you will LOVE it", but I'm here to tell you that for some of us it takes multiple trips to a C/O or nude beach to really feel comfortable. My first experience was OK but I was still very nervous. It took multiple C/O and nude experiences to really get to love it (which I do now)! So, if you or your SO isn't totally in love with the A/N experience the first time, it might be worth it to try it again (and again, and again). I'm here to tell you that sometimes A/N can be an acquired taste!

  14. #14
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Posts
    311

    Default

    What if the hokey pokey (hokey cokey in UK!) is actually what it is all about!

  15. #15
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Posts
    12

    Default Our first experience was last year at CN

    Quote Originally Posted by Ht View Post
    So my wife is hesitant to try the A/N thing, and I was wondering if anyone has any advice on convincing her to give it a try. I am not going to push her to do something she is not comfortable with, our relationship is worth more than that. Everyone says once you try it you will love it, but how can I convince her to give it a try? She is a beautiful girl, fit, late 30's, but just nervous about having strangers see her naked. Anyone have similar experience that can give some good advice? Thanks!
    We went to the AN side immediately after a couple of drinks just to try it. We agreed to just try it once and if she hated it we would not return. What we found out is that it was so much more peaceful and quiet on that side and the people we met in the hot tub were just great people who we shared several meals with that week. You see once you have literally nothing to hide, all pretentiousness goes away. Truly no one cares about looking at you--they don't go there to look at strangers--only to find inner peace. We beleive that it strengthened our connection--and this is after 29 years of marriage. We plan to return next year and those friends we met last year in the hot tub are going back with us.

  16. #16
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Posts
    6

    Default

    We totally agree with Taylor5rx. It was the same for us...we can't wait to go back next year!

  17. #17
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Posts
    104

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    We are going to try it Didnt think my wife would go for it as i was joking about it
    She called my bluff !

    She said she would lie on her stomach on a lounger

    Now I am nervous LOL

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