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  1. #1

    Default To try and get pregnant or not?

    Please I need your help. Meaning ppl who know and love their Jamaican vacations dearly! Matt and I have been married for 3 years, and together for almost 10. Yes, I was young about 17 when we met. We decided that we would start trying to conceive in October of this year. Well we went for October and it did not happen. This month I can't stop thinking about one last pre-baby trip to Jamaica.

    Should we push back trying until May or June and have our 4 trip to Jamaica? I'm thinking trying to conceive on vacation. All of our friends have kids and I watch my 11 month old niece so I know how much work it is.

    It's just everyone here keeps telling me I can go on vacation after the baby. Hahahaha whose is going to watch our child for 6-9 days? And whose to say I would even be able to leave my child at home.

    So is another 7 to 8 months of waiting to conceive that big a deal? I'm 27 he's 32.
    Any advice is appreciated. Going before pregnancy, during, or after what do you guys think?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
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    1,274

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    There is never going to be a prefect time. I would try now and go again while prego.

  3. #3

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    Kids are great. What is even better is bringing home a little Jamacian. Keep in mind that you may not want to Scuba after you start trying. But if your staying long enough you can have one great dive at the begining and have fun trying each morning, day, and night.

    Sylvia and I have brought 3 jamacians home. For some reason the mix of relaxation and romance is our lucky mix.

    Whatever you decide before, during, or after your vacation children are wonderful and congratulations.
    Mark & Sylvia

  4. #4

    Default

    I can't tell you whether to have a baby or not now but I will share a few words of "wisdom". If you and your husband decide now is the time I can't think of a better way to start trying then when you are on vacation, relaxed in romantic jamaica. Watch out there is something in the water there if you do decide to try as friends came back from jamaica a few years ago with a little extra something that they didn't declare at customs. And, dont think of having a kid as the end of your getaways. My husband and I didn't start travelling until after our kids were born and now we go away for a week a year (mainly to Jamaica but always the carribean) without out kids (thanks to grandparents and let me tell you if you think you like your getaways now just wait until you have kids and get away without them...they are the best time to reconnect as a couple and be husband and wife rather than mom and dad.

    Good luck with deciding!

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
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    987

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    You are not too old to wait if that is what you want to do. I agree that vacations to Jamaica may be put on hold for several years once you have started a family. We waited over 15 years before we had a vacation with just the two of us after we had our first. Just so happened that trip was our first to Jamaica and CSA for our 25th anniversary. We are counting down to our sixth (or seventh, I lost count) trip coming up in June. We were both in our mid-thirties when we had our first child, though we were married in our mid-twenties we have know each other since we were children. What ever you decide, make the decision together and make sure you are both comfortable with it. Big step, lots of work, but well worth it. Jamaica will still be there when the kids are old enough to leave behind for a week. In the mean time you have all those family vacations to look forward to. Hey, take the kids to the beach in Florida or some place. That's what we did, they loved it.

    Good luck and best wishes for you and your future family!

  6. #6
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    Jul 2010
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    2,356

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    Your young enough, go enjoy Jamaica and make a baby there!

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
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    468

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    Get a puppy.....you can put them in a kennel!

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
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    I'm afraid that if you think you can conceive at will then you are sorely mistaken. It may happen first time for some and for others it takes a long time. We had our first child at the first attempt. It took four more years to conceive the second. Be relaxed, enjoy your time at Couples and let it happen in its own good time. Fretting about it and trying to plan the ideal time to conceive is, for sure, the way to being disappointed. The stress of not conceiving will make conception even harder.

    Chillax, enjoy your life together and don't think about it too much and you may find things happen in their own good time. If truth be told, it is a miracle if one gets pregnant at all. It'll happen but perhaps not to a timetable.

    Irie.

  9. #9

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    For me, I have 3 kids. We went to Jamaica when we had no kids in 2005 then again in 2010 when we had 2 kids. I can tell you I didn't have as good of a time in 2010. I am not a fan of leaving my kids especially out of the country. It isn't that we cannot find anyone to watch the 3 kids now, it is just really hard for me to 100% enjoy myself when we are gone. Even in Jamaica

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
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    574

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    Some friends we went with last time have 2 young (11 & 14 maybe). It was the first time they had left the kids. They had a GREAT time and stayed in touch every day by doing Facetime with their iThingy (sorry for the technical jargon).

  11. #11
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    Jun 2009
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    The chances of getting pregnant while all conditions are perfect is only 20%, so you should just decide if you want kids now or not. If the answer is yes, then just have sex, don't worry about when you are ovulating, have some fun and if you get pregnant, you get pregnant. Just like one of the previous posters said, "there is never a perfect time to have children". Just have fun and see what happens.

    And as far as not having romantic vacations once a kids comes into the picture....that is just false. A lot of couples (mostly the moms) don't want to leave their babies/kids to have a romantic getaway, but just as many want to get away. Our first child was 4 months old when we went on a 7 day vacation without her. And every year we've been married we have done at least a romantic weekend away from the kids (we have 3 now).

    Don't put so much thought into the when and where aspects of a baby. Just decide if you want them now or not and then go for it...or don't. Trying to get everything just perfect will drive both you and your husband nuts. Good luck deciding.

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Dec 2009
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    61

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by redblueku View Post
    Please I need your help. Meaning ppl who know and love their Jamaican vacations dearly! Matt and I have been married for 3 years, and together for almost 10. Yes, I was young about 17 when we met. We decided that we would start trying to conceive in October of this year. Well we went for October and it did not happen. This month I can't stop thinking about one last pre-baby trip to Jamaica.

    Should we push back trying until May or June and have our 4 trip to Jamaica? I'm thinking trying to conceive on vacation. All of our friends have kids and I watch my 11 month old niece so I know how much work it is.

    It's just everyone here keeps telling me I can go on vacation after the baby. Hahahaha whose is going to watch our child for 6-9 days? And whose to say I would even be able to leave my child at home.

    So is another 7 to 8 months of waiting to conceive that big a deal? I'm 27 he's 32.
    Any advice is appreciated. Going before pregnancy, during, or after what do you guys think?
    Book a trip to CTI for the last week of August and meet us there and lets party! lol we are both 30 and it will be our last vacation before getting pregnant also

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
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    190

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    I agree with dnbmccann. We have 3 now grown boys. Went to Jamaica for our honeymoon in 1975 and then started the family a couple of yrs later. We left our boys with grandma and grandpa for one weekend gettaway not even far away. It was to a river boat gambling trip on the Mississipi which was only a 3-4 hr drive away. The whole time I was gone I did nothing but think of the kids (wondering what they are doing, etc.). I could not enjoy myself. I realize that some can and need to get away and to each their own. We did many family vacations then such as Disney World, camping together and we have lots of family memories. Our boys now love the great outdoors and hunting, fishing and spending time at our "up north" getaway place we used to go to as a family and still own. We did not go back to Jamaica until our youngest turned 21 because all I could think about is "what if sometime happens to them while we're gone". Yes you can sign permission ahead of time for medical treatments but it would be difficult to be out of country if something happens. My mother-in-law died one year while we were in Jamaica and that was difficult enough. We could not get a flight home early and it really put a damper on our vacation and I can't imagine if something would happen to any of my kids (even now that they are grown). My advise, go before you have kids, it is very romantic down there and it would be awesome to come back with "more baggage" if it happens. You will be less stressed down there. If and when "it happens" take grandma's advise (yes I'm now a grandma) and enjoy your kids. They grow up way too fast and the memories you create together will be the best you will have. Jamaica will still be there when the kids are grown and it will be just as wonderful then. I know, been there, dunn that. The people of Jamaica are still as wonderful now as they where in 1975. The only thing we see that has changed is the air port is bigger and better.
    I wish you the best of luck.
    Karin

  14. #14
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Posts
    783

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    We waited 25 years to take a vacation together as a couple. All of our time and treasure went into our children. We are now reaping the benefits. We have great kids and wonderful grandchildren. But, now itís time for mom and dad to spend their inheritance.

    Life is good

  15. #15
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Posts
    915

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    Not to discount anything the other posters have said, but we can relate more than most of the others.

    We are 35 and 37 and have been married almost 11 years, together for almost 13. Having been going on Caribbean vacations for ten years, the last 3 to CN, we felt we found paradise in Jamaica and at Couples. Last year, we decided that we were doing 10 days at CN, yearly, for a long time. At the same time, we knew we wanted to have a little one, and the bio clock is always ticking. We waited til after our tenth anniversary trip, last November, and actually conceived on our actual anniversay night, a month later.

    We have both been jonesing for CN and jealous of our friends who have continued the yearly trip. Our little dude was born in Sept, and our trip is usually over Thanksgiving week, but we didn't really want to go, because it is too hard to think about being away from the little man for a week. That being said, he starts day care in Jan, so we will have daily separation. We have had a couple date nights already, and it hasn't been that bad. We have lined up babysitters already and plan on getting back to CN at the end of May.

    I totally understand your dilemma, but I can honestly say, if it's in your heart to get back to Jamaica, you will make it happen. If you know you want to have kids, do it now. I would never take back waiting, because of what we have been able to experience, but, if I was going to do it over again, I would have the dude a little earlier, knowing that we will always make time to get back to Jamaica. Couples will still be there, but every year you wait will be a year older that you are than your first child. That's time you can't get back.

    If it's in your heart to have children AND be a Couples addict, you can do both. It's human nature to make it work!

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  16. #16
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
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    608

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    I'm confused as to why you'd ask people on a message board when you should have a baby....

  17. #17
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    Feb 2011
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    518

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    i just returned from my 5 trip to couples. i have a 6 year old at home and am 34 weeks pregnant. i enjoyed couples so much as a big pregnant mama! the staff is even more incredible when you are expecting-i couldn't believe the royal treatment i got. i should say that my ususal couples trip is filled with plenty of alcohol, so i wondered what it would be like completely sober. turns out, perfect. so no worries. if ya want to make the baby, just keep having fun. plan a trip and get insurance. if you are pregnant by then, great, if not, plenty of time to try in jamaica. good luck!

  18. #18

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    I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who replied. You gave Matt and I some wonderful outside advice and it really means a lot. We have decided to go ahead and start trying again this month! We might get pregnant right away or it might take awhile you just never really know.
    There is always the phone and email for when we start to miss our friends down there.
    And I can picture myself pregnant sitting on the beach sipping a virgin Daiquiri listening to the waves.
    Happy New Year everyone.

  19. #19
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Posts
    11

    Default Go for it!

    Quote Originally Posted by redblueku View Post
    I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who replied. You gave Matt and I some wonderful outside advice and it really means a lot. We have decided to go ahead and start trying again this month! We might get pregnant right away or it might take awhile you just never really know.
    There is always the phone and email for when we start to miss our friends down there.
    And I can picture myself pregnant sitting on the beach sipping a virgin Daiquiri listening to the waves.
    Happy New Year everyone.
    Don't worry, you will have a wonderful trip. My wife was pregnant during our first trip. We had already booked the vacation so we went anyway. She had a wonderful time. She wasn't showing yet and really enjoyed sitting on the beach and relaxing for a week. Being a good husband I even went out early to the beach and got her a nice shady spot under one of the umbrellas each morning while she slept in and before everyone else hit the beach. There are still plenty of things you can do and they still make great non-alcohol drinks for you. I recommend a CSA Atrium Suite, my wife loved the hammock and it gave her a spot to relax in the afternoon. She would get tired a little easier than normal when pregnant.

    Enjoy a pre-baby vacation and pamper yourself! We now have three daughters and our oldest that went to CSA with us is seven. We are making our second Couples trip this summer and can't wait!

  20. #20
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Posts
    299

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    Rock Chalk

    We have a european souvenir plus four others.
    We are professionals who both work really hard all year
    So, this comes from that perspective.

    We love spending time with the kids (did the Disney World trip this summer)
    but we need our couple time. As much as we love the kids, it is awesome to go and sit on the beach
    our oldest daughter totally gets it! (she's 15)
    She sees why we want to go to Jamaica for a week in the summer for just the parents
    We are better spouses and better parents when we get back

    So when ever the new little Jayhawk comes around be sure to still take that time to be a couple.
    We have been many times to CSS and to CTI
    We have met couples who were actively trying, who were pregnant, and who were just practicing
    As far as I could tell, they all seem to have a pretty good time

    Good luck with your decision
    John

  21. #21
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Posts
    1

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    Hey, girl! Of course going before pregnancy, because pregnancy will cause sickness, inappetence antd other uncomfortableness, these will totally ruins your vacation!! And for god sake you two are so young, don't you know the baby will be more wise if the parents are old?!! But that is just my thought, maybe the happiness the baby bring will conquer every hardness, it depends on you. Think about it carefully.

    Anyway, good luck!
    Last edited by bubble; March 20th, 2013 at 10:24 AM.

  22. #22
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
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    276

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    I say, if you're ready - try! You might get pregnant right away or not. Hubby and I have been trying for 2 years - really hoped last May would have been our Jamaica baby trip. Still trying but we don't give up hope. Our May trip is coming up and would love for the baby magic to happen!

  23. #23

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    Hey guys so here is an update it's now July and we have been trying for 7 months and no luck. We see a fertility doc next month. We are having the Jamaican blues and baby blues. Last week we pulled the trigger and booked part of our vacation for December (still waiting on better airfare). So pregnant or not Jamaica here we come!
    I realized I can't put our lives on hold waiting to get pregnant. So we are just going to push on and keep trying for that baby, and if anything at least we have a vacation to look forward to. Yeahhhhhh!

  24. #24
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Posts
    915

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    Good luck with the doc, and congrats on booking your next trip! You're only about 27. Don't get too stressed about the baby thing. My wife's cousin and his wife tried for 10 years, and eventually went to an acupunturist, and it happened in less than a month. Somehow, we managed to avoid it until our mid-late 30's and then it just happened. We were debating when to go for #2, but after we booked our Nov. trip we decided to hold off until after. We dive every day we're there, so preggo is not an option.

    Have fun on your trip! You know you will!
    "Brutalize me with music..."

    CN: 11/2007, 11/2010, 11/2011, 11/2013

  25. #25
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
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    76

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    My hubby and I never had a vacation alone until last year 2012 (4 years of being together) and when we left we had a 21 month old baby girl. Yes it was hard yes I cried but the connection you get after being mom & dad only for so long is amazing! You get tons of "practicing" time there. We just got back from our second trip and it takes me about 4 nights to miss my kids BUT it is so worth it! We get home and have withdrawals from each other ! Enjoy your vaca regardless! I believe when the time is right a miracle can happen!

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