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  1. #1

    Default How do I explain how important weddings are to my boyfriend?

    Every girl knows what im talking about. You know, why weddings, dressing up, and walking down the aisle are such huge dreams of Hollister Canada girls. My boyfriend thinks it's stupid and doesn't think when we get married, that we should have a wedding and that it's a waist of money.

    Can you list some reasons why it's so important and why every detail is important? I can't seem to explain my feelings towards this.

  2. #2

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    If he doesn't get it, maybe he's too immature to get married, I'm just sayin.

  3. #3

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    As someone who had a big wedding (and all of the family bickering that goes along with it), I have to say that the wedding is not all that important. It's the MARRIAGE that is important. Twenty-five years from now, you'll look back and think it was silly to fight over flowers, invitations, etc.

    Too many people spend time thinking about one day rather than their lifetime together. Have you talked about the things that really matter, such as: How will you manage your money? Will you combine your incomes or have separate accounts? Are you both of the same or different religions? If you have children, in which faith will they be baptized? Do you both want children? If so, how many? If one of you does not want children, is the other comfortable with the thought of never having a child? If you do have children, will one of you stay at home with them, or will you both continue to work? Are you both on the same page with this? How do you feel about extended family? How often will you visit or have them visit? Do you welcome unannounced visits or expect family to call before dropping by? How will you handle conflict with extended family? How will you handle competing familial demands at holidays?

    If we had to do it all over again, we would have gotten married in Jamaica and been able to buy our first house that much earlier (we paid for our wedding ourselves). In doing so, we also would have avoided a lot of family conflict, the ripples of which persist 25 years later . . .
    Pamela
    I know everything, and I'm always right (just ask my husband).

  4. #4

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    The fact that you have to is a bad sign. I don't mean that to be rude, but to offer some advice from someone who's been there with an ex. If he doesn't take the wedding seriously, how do you think he'll view the marriage? A wedding is about pledging love and respect and he's showing you very little respect at the moment. I'd sit him down and explain to him that it is very important to you, why and if he still doesn't come around I'd wait on the marriage till he does.
    Susan & Chris
    CTI 2003, 2004
    CSS 2008, 2013!

  5. #5

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    I'm sorry if I was a little harsh but its the truth. Are you guys a young couple? I can speak from experience. I got married the first time at 21 and I was extremely immature. That marriage lasted 5 years.
    Anyway, the second time around I was 40 and the beauty of Couples is that it can be a very small , private affair, short and sweet. It was basically free too besides the gov fee and photos and dvd. It was the best decision we ever made.
    Don't push him, it sounds like he might not be ready and couples will be there when the time is right.

  6. #6

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    My boyfriend also canít understand the wedding importance and doesn't think when we get married. Please help and tell me some ideas how I can convince him for our wedding.

  7. #7

    Default Don't do it

    Quote Originally Posted by softail19 View Post
    I'm sorry if I was a little harsh but its the truth. Are you guys a young couple? I can speak from experience. I got married the first time at 21 and I was extremely immature. That marriage lasted 5 years.
    Anyway, the second time around I was 40 and the beauty of Couples is that it can be a very small , private affair, short and sweet. It was basically free too besides the gov fee and photos and dvd. It was the best decision we ever made.
    Don't push him, it sounds like he might not be ready and couples will be there when the time is right.
    I agree with softail19. Believe me, he's doing you a favor. If he doesn't want to get married but you pressure him into it, both of your lives will be miserable and the marriage will likely end after just a few years. If it's the wedding itself he objects to, then again, you two probably aren't ready to be married. Making decisions about a planning a wedding is nothing compared to the really hard decisions you'll need to make once you are married.

    Look at this as a huge blessing in disguise. Either be content to continue on as your boyfriend's girlfriend and stop pressuring him to get married, or break up with him. If you decide to move on you will find someone who will be willing and eager to walk down the aisle with you.

  8. #8

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    Like above, if he needs convincing, he's not ready

  9. #9

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    This is very clear that you can not trust on him as how much long he will stay with you. And if he is not ready or sure for wedding or not ready to understand your feelings then it is high time to analyse and to take decision for yourself.
    Last edited by SuzanH; January 31st, 2015 at 07:00 AM.

  10. #10

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    I think he isn`t ready to marry. When time comes, he`ll agree to all ceremonies. But it`s only my opinion)

  11. #11

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    Ok, I had a look at this forum because I was curious about a vow renewal and I saw this thread. Take a little wisdom from a girl who has been married to the love of her life for 32 years, the wedding is NOT important. Sure do it if you want and can afford it. But over the years it's the commitment between 2 people, and only those two, that matters. I was married a fews weeks short of my 21st birthday. Was in college and we could only afford a small informal get together. No regrets. If your bf doesn't think he wants a wedding it doesn't mean he isn't ready to be married. It means the party isn't important to him.

  12. #12

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    Honestly, I don't care for weddings at all. They're a waste of time and money. My boyfriend, on the other hand, thinks the way you do. He wants to get married and obviously doesn't consider it a waste.

    So yeah, that "Every girl knows what I'm talking about" line doesn't work.

  13. #13

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    Hello. It's hard when you care for someone and encounter a difference in values. Really, there is no explaining it. There is no magic phrase to make a person uninterested (at this time!) want marriage. FI and I have been together 19 years. We just got engaged last year, and plan to be married next. I had to, several years back when all, literally, all, of our friends got married, with staying with him for love and possibly never being married, or leaving. Because if I'd forced or coheres him in any way, it would have meant nothing by the time he asked. We started dating young, I was 19, and have weathered many storms together. He was always honest, stating he never saw himself married before 35. I let him know it hurt me to not be married, and then found out he'd been ring shopping two full years before I even knew he was thinking about proposing. It's a relationship, both people have to want it for it to matter. And the wedding is both his idea and the king on the cake for me to be his WIFE. I'd have gone to the JP if that's all he'd have wanted, had something in our backyard, whatever. But he wants a 'real' ceremony, but little stress. So we found Couples and that's looks to fit my desire to be in a beach (I feel outside is closer to God than some churches), and he gets to not feel uncomfortable in front of a huge crowd. And a week with a wedding at couples is the same we'd spend for a wedding with all friends and family attending.

    Anyway, being in the 'waiting' stage for a proposal sucks. I was there about 10 years. But the relationship as it could be was more important than a party, a ring to show off. And I wanted him on board on his own. No games. Some men take a while. It takes friends and family getting married before it looks desirable to them. And nagging never helps. So try to enjoy the now and BE enjoyable. If he values you, it will happen if you let it.

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