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  1. #1

    Default Interesting / Unusual Stories From The AN Beaches!

    How about a thread of interesting / unusual / funny / creepy stories from the Couples AN beaches? No names, stories must be true, first hand accounts.

    We were at SSB in March, new to AN and having a great time! On about our 3rd day, we set up in the 'front row' (i.e. right in front of the ocean with nobody in front of us). We had a great view of the ocean and enjoyed taking it all in! Every once and a while a couple would pass by as they walked the beach. At some point a couple came up and stood in the ocean calf deep off to our left, about 40 feet away. Not that I was 'gawking' but I couldn't help but notice this attractive couple. They seemed to be engaged in conversation, enjoying a beautiful day. They actually presented me with a mental 'postcard' of what SSB is all about. Naked couples enjoying each other's company in a beautiful enviornment on a gorgeous sunny day! My attention soon turned elsewhere but at some point, something caught the corner of my eye and caused me to look back in their direction. The guy had started peeing into the ocean as he faced his partner. Not that he made a show of it by using his hands or anything, but the stream was landing right beside his partner. He was facing out to sea and his partner towards the beach. As I was processing this sight, thinking back to all the forum threads I had read in preparation for our trip, and trying to determine if this was a reportable offence, he turned slightly, so the stream was now hitting his partner on her leg! At this point I was expecting at least a shriek from her, but she didn't even flinch! When he was done they went back to the beach and I never noticed them again. Maybe it was a dare? Some sort of cheap thrill?

    Any thoughts on this story or ones of your own?

  2. #2

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    Maybe he was trying to raise the tide...!!!

  3. #3

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    Possible explanations: 1) Very drunk. 2) Into some kind of weird fetish. 3) Extremely drunk!
    One Love Mon,
    Jim & Michelle

    CTI & CSS 2014 split
    CTI & CSS 2015 split

  4. #4

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    OK, so this falls into the funny category (at least I thought so). During the afternoons as SSB, a social coordinator (fully clothed employee of CSS) will come over and get the nudies to participate in some games. One of the games involved a fishing pole with a small ring dangling from the line. The object is to lower the ring over the neck of a wine bottle which is standing vertical. It's a lot harder than it sounds. It was my turn so I stood up on the pool deck in all my glory and was attempted to lower the ring around the bottle. It was taking me longer than most and the social coordinator was growing impatient with me, to which I snapped, "hey, keep your pants on... I've got this".
    One Love Mon,
    Jim & Michelle

    CTI & CSS 2014 split
    CTI & CSS 2015 split

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    Too funny! If it were me - the next sound would have been a slap as my wife would have set me straight very quickly...

    The funniest story I can recall happened a few years ago.

    It was past 5:00 and the textiles had started to invade SSB - a large group of us had stuck around and up to the bar walks a young lady with her very visibly upset mother who had her eyes shielded.

    "You said they stopped at 5:00!" the mother said.

    "No mom, I said it was optional after 5:00 - which means we can go - not that they have to leave..."

    Mom sits down and orders a drink while they continue to converse about the situation.

    Eventually, the daughter says "Fine mom, if you're uncomfortable then let's just go!"

    "WELL! The least you can do is let me finish my drink!"

    ...and she did...

    The only creepy incident - same situation except that a very large group showed up and got into the SSB hot tub with all their clothes on and just stared at us!

    Literally - the women had shirts and pants on, the men had suits but kept their shirts on...

    The funny part was they were all very, very large and this was in the old hot tub - so after a while, they're clothes soaked up most of the water!

  6. #6

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    We had a streaker run through the pool volleyball game...

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    I'm going with sea urchin sting. Yep, i am sure thats what it was. yep, i am pretty sure it had to be that, right? well, it could have been something else, maybe.

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    It wasn't a story I needed to hear. That's my only thought. Sorry, I don't have any to share.
    All the best@!

  9. #9

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    Well here is my second and last story (since we have only been to Couples one time so far). We have not "come out" to family and friends about our AN experience and I think I started this thread as I just wanted to tell somebody these stories!

    We did a "Trading Places" to CTI. After hauling ourselves up all the stairs to catch our ride over to CTI, we found out the bus left without us. My fault, with all the numerous bookings we had made for meals, I was 15 minutes off on our departure timing. The friendly staff member apologized and explained she had been trying to call us but got no answer. Of course, we had been walking the stairs from our A Block room at that time. Anyway, this was Couples after all. No problem Mon. A call to the bus driver and he turned around to come back for us. Now I'm feeling bad for the others on the bus. How embarassed am I going to be getting on the bus and filing past them to an empty seat after delaying their ride? No problem Mon, the bus was empty anyway!

    A friendly reception and quick tour of CTI then off to the island. We arrived and were about the 3rd couple to reach the island. Went right and had a great spot. Having been at SSB in the crowds for a few days we were now pros. Stripped down and climbed up the tower for a wonderful view before settling in for the day. Hours pass more couples reach the island and loungers start to fill including the ones next to us.

    At one point the lovely lady beside us gets up and asks us (rather indiscreetly) if we knew where the bathroom was. We directed her to the tower. Shortly after she returned lunch was served. One thing I learned from the forum before choosing CSS was that the island only has 1 shared washroom. Before lunch we decided to wash our hands (sunscreen). I decided it was probably appropriate to use the toilet (#1) as well. I flipped up the toilet seat and discovered what you never want to discover (a floater)! My mind jumps back to the lovely lady beside us. No big deal, until I give the toilet a flush...no response! Now I am full of dread. The right thing to do is report the situation to the Couples staff, but, if i do, they will surely think it's my doing (and I won't be able to handle that). I wash my hands and decide to keep quiet. When I exit the bathroom my wife is waiting and I ask if she's just washing her hands. Of course she declares that she will use the toilet as well. I quietly explain the situation but she has to go, so she goes anyway!

    She comes out and says everything is fine. "How can it be fine?", I ask. Surely she made it worse! No, she just held the handle down for a long while and eventually it flushed. We had a great lunch on the island after which I made my bathroom run and everything was great! After all was "said and done", I was worried about being embarassed about the bus, about the toilet, but it never occurred to me to be embarassed about walking around on an island stark naked in front of strangers!

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    My favorite / funniest thus far was at on the AN beach at CN a few years ago.

    A couples from another resort was walking along the beach and decided to stop to take pictures of one another, whether they realized it or not, they were taking pictures toward the AN section of beach. I think we were the only couple on it at the time, so it wasn't a big deal to us, but after quite a few minutes I decided to have some fun with it. I sauntered down behind the gentleman having his picture taken, and started what I will call "Fat Guy Naked Yoga".

    I stayed just far enough back to not make it obvious, but close enough to know they would never be able to show these pictures to friends as there is a fat, naked guy in the background of every picture in some very weird poses.

  11. #11

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    I will keep this short - Christmas day on Tower Isle. Santa visits Tower Isle via the pontoon boat. Get your picture taken with Santa! (no, not sitting on his lap, just standing with him!)

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    We're at SSB for the first time on a trading places day from CTI. My wife loves floating in the ocean on the floaties and was doing so at SSB while I was exploring the shoreline a little further up (always wear water shoes). In only a matter of a few minutes, I turn around to see her on her way to Ocho Rios. I swam out to her and she was lying on the floatie with her eyes shut, oblivious to the current dragging her out.

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    Here's my weird experience:

    We went to the a/n beach at CN and were the only couple there. We were relaxing in our lounge chairs when this other couple came onto the beach and pulled a pair of lounge chairs right up next to ours--uncomfortably close. We moved; they followed. We moved a second time; they followed us again, still uncomfortably close with their chairs touching ours. I gave my husband "the look," and we went into the water to discuss in private how we were going to handle this. They followed us. I lost it. I don't remember exactly what I said, but profanity might have been used (What can I say, I'm a New Yorker). They turned and walked away from us without ever saying a word to us through the entire episode.

    We returned to the beach, gathered up our things, left the a/n beach, and didn't return for the remainder of our trip. It was just odd.
    Pamela
    I know everything, and I'm always right (just ask my husband).

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    My wife and I watched from our balcony in building 6 at CN as an elderly couple (80s?) Exited the water along the rope separating the AN beach. The man was really struggling to make it out of the water which is what caught our eyes as we feared he would fall. Well, he finally clears the water and turns toward the AN beach, takes two steps and proceeds to drop his swimsuit. At just this moment an older couple (60s) is walking toward him and holding hands. As the man dropped his trunks the approaching man instantaneously drops his wife's hand and puts it across her back. He then raised his other hand and shielded her eyes as he perfectly pivoted them around and back up the beach. It was like a ballroom dance move. My wife and I howled with laughter for 10 minutes. We've told this story many time this spring.

  15. #15

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    One year when they we were playing that same and one of the wives had the fishing pole, her husband pick up the bottle, layed down, and said, "If you like it put a ring on it", obviously referring to his member.

  16. #16

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    My wife and I watched from our balcony in building 6 at CN as an elderly couple (80s?) Exited the water along the rope separating the AN beach. The man was really struggling to make it out of the water which is what caught our eyes as we feared he would fall. Well, he finally clears the water and immediately turns toward the AN beach, takes two steps and proceeds to drop his swimsuit. At just this moment an older couple (60s) is walking toward him and holding hands. As the man dropped his trunks the approaching man instantaneously drops his wife's hand and puts it across her back. He then raised his other hand and shielded her eyes as he perfectly pivoted them around and back up the beach. It was like a ballroom dance pirouette. My wife and I howled with laughter for 10 minutes. We've told this story many time this spring.

  17. #17

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    My wife and I were at SSB in April, we observed a lady applying sunscreen to her husband and suffice to say she left nothing to chance when it came to coverage. She took a firm grasp on the "twig and berries" with one hand and slathered him up with the other. Nothing sexual, but bless her heart, she was determined to leave no crevice or fold uncovered LOL.

  18. #18

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    Got quite a few stories from CTI...but I'll go with this one: several years ago, we were on the island around middle of the day or early afternoon, when this couple walks up onto the island, gets in the pool, and sits on the barstools wearing their swimsuits. They sit there for a few minutes, and the bartender tells them "hey mon, you gotta remove your swimsuits".

    The lady says "I'm an attorney in the U.S.....and we do NOT have to remove our swimsuits".

    The bartender replies "well, unless you're a naked attorney, you can't stay here". The couple got up and swam back over to the mainland.

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    IrieNewf brings up an interesting issue that I haven't seen discussed here. Before we head to the island or SSB, we apply sunscreen everywhere. But we also go in and out of the water often throughout the day, requiring re-application. I'm hesitant to use the alcohol based spray "down there" leaving the only option as lotion. Some lotions apply easier than others, and you can get lotion that just won't rub in easily. Therefore, you're left either walking around with "painted" privates, or you have to rub it in. At SSB, there bathrooms are appropriate for this, as there is more than one, but it still looks weird if someone walks in. On the island, there is one bathroom for everyone, which sometimes isn't the most pleasant place to be. I've actually used the upper tower to apply just so people don't get the wrong idea.

  20. #20

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    Quote Originally Posted by ct ti fan View Post
    IrieNewf brings up an interesting issue that I haven't seen discussed here. Before we head to the island or SSB, we apply sunscreen everywhere. But we also go in and out of the water often throughout the day, requiring re-application. I'm hesitant to use the alcohol based spray "down there" leaving the only option as lotion. Some lotions apply easier than others, and you can get lotion that just won't rub in easily. Therefore, you're left either walking around with "painted" privates, or you have to rub it in. At SSB, there bathrooms are appropriate for this, as there is more than one, but it still looks weird if someone walks in. On the island, there is one bathroom for everyone, which sometimes isn't the most pleasant place to be. I've actually used the upper tower to apply just so people don't get the wrong idea.
    Wasn't complaining, just thought her dedication to sun protection was amusing but I also salute her dedication to full coverage LOL.

  21. #21

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    Quote Originally Posted by Orange Beach View Post
    Got quite a few stories from CTI...but I'll go with this one: several years ago, we were on the island around middle of the day or early afternoon, when this couple walks up onto the island, gets in the pool, and sits on the barstools wearing their swimsuits. They sit there for a few minutes, and the bartender tells them "hey mon, you gotta remove your swimsuits".

    The lady says "I'm an attorney in the U.S.....and we do NOT have to remove our swimsuits".

    The bartender replies "well, unless you're a naked attorney, you can't stay here". The couple got up and swam back over to the mainland.
    LMFAO

  22. #22

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    Quote Originally Posted by ct ti fan View Post
    IrieNewf brings up an interesting issue that I haven't seen discussed here. Before we head to the island or SSB, we apply sunscreen everywhere. But we also go in and out of the water often throughout the day, requiring re-application. I'm hesitant to use the alcohol based spray "down there" leaving the only option as lotion. Some lotions apply easier than others, and you can get lotion that just won't rub in easily. Therefore, you're left either walking around with "painted" privates, or you have to rub it in. At SSB, there bathrooms are appropriate for this, as there is more than one, but it still looks weird if someone walks in. On the island, there is one bathroom for everyone, which sometimes isn't the most pleasant place to be. I've actually used the upper tower to apply just so people don't get the wrong idea.
    I've used the spray cans without a problem, all over, under, on, everywhere....no sting

  23. #23

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    2 years back at CN we had a couple of older gawkers that would stop at stare everyday around the same time. My friend spotted them coming from far away so I quick got in the ocean. I assumed a squatting position with just my head out of the water patiently waiting for them to stop as they did daily. Patiently waiting like a tiger eyeing its prey in tall grass and then BAM! I shot up like a rocket, ran towards them and eventually in between them screaming "Holy s*%t I left the F%*@king stove on! They quickly exited and never returned....

  24. #24

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    Quote Originally Posted by 1STIMERS View Post
    2 years back at CN we had a couple of older gawkers that would stop at stare everyday around the same time. My friend spotted them coming from far away so I quick got in the ocean. I assumed a squatting position with just my head out of the water patiently waiting for them to stop as they did daily. Patiently waiting like a tiger eyeing its prey in tall grass and then BAM! I shot up like a rocket, ran towards them and eventually in between them screaming "Holy s*%t I left the F%*@king stove on! They quickly exited and never returned....
    Sure wish I were there to see it personally. Clever and funny!
    CTI - 2007, 2010, 2013, 2015, 2016

  25. #25

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    OK, another one from CTI (albeit not a "funny" story): several years ago, we were on the island, and this young couple that is getting married the next day shows up on the island. They are having a fantastic time all day, hitting the libations pretty heavily. Around 3:00 PM, everybody gets up and goes to stand on the wall to "moon" the booze cruise as it comes by the island. So we're standing there, and the guy takes a step back, and falls OFF the wall, onto the razor-sharp rocks below. We help him get back up, and he's all cut up in various places. My wife (who is a registered nurse) helps attend to his wounds, with a couple other people. The couple headed on back to the mainland to see the resort nurse, and he was all bandaged up and in a wheelchair for his wedding the next day.


    Moral of the story is: standing on that wall can be really dangerous, especially after a solid day of hitting the sauce. Makes me a little nervous every time I get up there these days.

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