Today looks somewhat bleak to me. Overcast skies. Temps around 40. A little windy with occasional gusts. Many of the trees are almost bare, leaving a tangle of branches twisting every which way. On the ground, all around, the remains of the summer bloom. Dark and faded Oak and Maple leaves tossed about on the sidewalks, driveways, gutters and stairs. Formed by the wind, these crusty crunchy critters huddle together in tightly packed bunches. as the winds continue, piles of leaves scamper along. One after the other. The collection of Mother Nature appears and disappears with every new wisp of wind.
There are still quite a number of magnificent huge old Oak and Maple trees around the neighborhood. Many of them still hold fast to their veils of warmer days. The gorgeous green colors are long gone. They have been replaced by a drab dull burnt umber. With every whisper of wind, more and more will release their hold on the tiny branches, and whirl and swirl their way toward their silent brothers and sisters, dancing merrily below them.
The house is quiet. Syl is at work. I am here with myself. Not T.V., no radio, quiet. The only sound is coming from the tapping of keys beneath my fingers. This room used to be our daughters. The decor has changed over the years. From an infants space, to a young girls taste and on to when she got older. Currently, this cozy 8x10 space is just about as close as we could get to the Caribbean without leaving the house. Some other time, I will post pics of the tropical hideaway I created.
This past Tuesday November 3, my outlook and attitude toward pretty much anything, got a long awaited, very welcome news concerning my health.
Last June I was diagnosed with prostate cancer. Yah. That's how I felt too. Now we had to go and find the right treatment for my set of circumstances . This is a very difficult task. No medical personnel would ever say to me, "This is what I think you should do". The answer we kept getting was, "This is something that only you, and your partner, can decide. So Syl and I went on sort of a "forced march" if you will, straight into a very long dark, seemingly unending tunnel. The more information we sought, the more confused we became. Even the medical guys couldn't agree on a treatment. There are a lot of options for a man. He has to try to find that one that fits him best.
After a seven and a half hour surgery last October 08, the healing could now begin. Even after all the physical pain and discomfort has dissipated, you are then left with the emotional toll. You can expect to wrestle with lots of different issues in the coming months. Try to stay focused on what you can do, not what you can't do.
Slowly over the time, you will begin to see that proverbial light at the end of the tunnel. Once we saw that, we just kept moving toward the bright beautiful glow in the distance. Truly a long journey, but one that proved to be extremely worth the experience. Tuesday, November 3, I received the results of the latest PSA test. "Clinically undetectable" That's as good as it gets folks.
Throughout this whole ordeal, both the man and his partner will have to endure some unpleasant days. It's a tough place for a man to be, and tough on other half. I was fortunate to have my wife of 42 years by my side. Thank you Syl for all you did and all you do.
There is life after prostate cancer. Regardless of the option you ultimately decide on, all things being equal, you can and will go on to return to all the activities that you enjoyed before. All the activities!!
So Syl was one of my anchors, the other was Couples. Every time I had to lay on a table for another test, staring at the ceiling, I conjured up such vivid, vibrant images that everyone in the room could see them too. Every chance I got I spoke of my beloved mistress and all the pleasures she offers to anyone who discovers her distant waters. She was my guiding light and beacon of hope. Knowing that I would be returning to the place that holds my heart and my spirit for living. She helped maintain my focus to clear bright skies, warm breezes and the friendship and love of so many.
We leave for CTI on the 12th. This time, there will be a lot of "baggage" that I won't have to carry.
My unending gratitude to all that sent words, thoughts, prayers, advice, counsel and love.