Im having a really hard time with this. I think I need some help from my friends. Any words that can help me, please post. I'm so lost without my best friend. I will always love and miss him sooo much. Thanks for your help. Kim Robinson
I can’t imagine the pain you are in. My husband Kevin and I have been a couple since I was 17 and he was 18. On July 10, we’ll celebrate the 23rd anniversary of our marriage. We chose not to have children and have always been happiest being alone together. He is such a part of who I am that I cannot imagine life without him.
I have absolutely no idea what you are going through, but I can imagine that, if I were in your situation, I would be so lost and in so much pain that it would be difficult to get out of bed in the morning. I am so sorry that you’re suffering so.
My advice to you is to turn to friends and family who cared about your husband. Invite people to dinner (it doesn’t have to be fancy; most people would be happy with simply pizza and beer), and ask everyone to share memories of your beloved Wayne. Laugh over the funny memories, cry about the sad ones, realize that you’re not alone, and accept help/support from others. Admit that you need help, and people will be there.
Take time to take care of yourself. Get a massage or a facial. Talk a walk in the woods. Pet a friendly neighborhood dog. Buy yourself some flowers. Take some time to do something that you find enjoyable every day. Allow yourself to feel good.
If you need to, talk to a psychologist. What you’re going through is normal; grief is a process, but someone else might be able to help you deal with any pressing issues (guilt, fear, anger, denial, etc.) in a way that will help you to heal and move forward. You’ve suffered a horrible loss and are in a very stressful situation; there is no shame in asking for help from people trained to give you the help you need.
Life goes on, and we can’t stop the rest of the world from moving forward even though we’re in such pain that we want the world to stop. You have to move forward, and you have to do without your best friend. Take some time to think about how his love for you and all that he has given you have made you a better and stronger person and how that will enable you to go on without him. I wish you all the best.
Last edited by Pamela; July 6th, 2010 at 01:05 PM.
I know everything, and I'm always right (just ask my husband).
All of us on this board have learned the love of Couples and the friends we have here. Most of us have a special relationship with one person in our lives and are lucky to have something so special. Many people don't have such a wonderful marriage or partnership and Couples helps all of us keep that alive. My husband and I have no children, though he does from another marriage. There are 24 years between us and I worry about a future without him and how I would make it. I am fortunate that he is healthy and strong and we take every opportunity to do the things we enjoy and travel. We have been married 19 yrs and I can't even begin to imagine the loss I would feel without him.
Kim, you are in pain and I do hope you have friends that you can go to and share the wonderful memories you had from your time with Wayne. Sounds like you had a beautiful relationship and that is something you can always cherish and know he is never far away...no matter what. I hope you find better days ahead and continue to keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
You may if you not have already look into local self help groups normally sponsored by a local chruch. Sometimes it just feels better knowing you are not alone in what you are feeling. Being in the company of others that have experienced what you have does not dimish your grief but it does help feel less isolated or perhap minimize the "why me" dynamic.
The loss will never go away but with time the pain of such loss is replaced with vivid memories of what made him so special. The universe has a way of providing us what we focus on... be strong and refelct on the positive
While I can not pretend to understand your pain I can express my deepest sympathy to you in your grief. I am sure the entire Couples family on this board is extending prayers or thoughts, in what ever form they can, for peace and comfort to you in this trying time. As stated above, do lean on family and friends. These will be your source of strength and comfort at a time when you are finding these things in short supply on your own. Try not to close yourself off from the world that cares about you, you need to expose yourself to as much positive emotion and support as you possibly can. Allow yourself to heal, as hard as it seems to be you have to move on. Cherish the wonderful memories of your lives, try not to dwell on the pain and hardship that marred the end of your time together. He is at peace now, and you will have to learn to be at peace as well. I will continue to keep you in my prayers. Please, if it helps in any way at all, continue to post on the message board for what ever need you think we can help to fulfill.
May the peace of the Lord, which is beyond our understanding, be upon you now and forever.
I sure wish I could find some words to comfort you and ease your pain.
I can not begin to know how heavy your heart must be.
I can tell you that you have so many friends here that love you and want to help.
Be strong,our prayers are with you both. My husband is also my best friend, he fell ill after a two year deployment with Army during back in 2005. His kidneys failed due to an exposure to some kind of heavy metal. It was a very scarey time. He is now in remission. I pray for his healing and your strength. Keep your faith. Sincerely Cynthia and Stephen Torres.
I just reread all of the kind things that all of you have said to me on this wonderful message board. Just wanted to let you all know that I'm still having some bad days, but most importantly, some good ones too!! I will admit when I read all of these nice things I started to cry. The tears just rolled. It is so amazing how many of you responded to me and don't even know me. The anniversay of his death is coming near. March 27th. Just wanted to thank each and everyone of you for your thoughtfulness and caring. It means the world to me! Thanks again, Kim Robinson
May God Bless you and give you the strength that you will need to heal.I so understand the loss of a loved one and the pain that comes with it..only time may help but you will always miss him more than words can say.
yes, the holiday's are the worst. The whole year has been really rough,with a couple of good days! Hopefully, it will get better with time. If a certain song comes on the radio, if a memory comes about, it still hurt's really bad. But with the help of my couple's family, it get's a little easier every day!! And of course my other friend's and family really try to help to. But no one really knows unless they have been through it themselves. Again, I want to thank each and everyone of you for your thoughtfulness and support. I wouldn't be this far without my couples family!!! One Love, Kim Robinson
You & your husband are in my thoughts .... Good wishes being sent your way. My husband is my best friend (we just celebrated #30 anniversary in September at CN) & can't imagine what you both must be going through. Stay positive & keep looking forward to when you can be back at Couples celebrating his good health & your happiness. Hugs to you both.
Maxernie, I lost my sweet, sweet, man on March 27th 2010. Almost a year ago. Still very numb and sad. Having a few good days. I will get through this with the help of my couple's family and my other friends and family!! Thanks for caring. Kim
Heck, yes, I'm about as familiar with the Masons as I can be without taking the degrees! Hubbie is a 32 degree Scottish Rite, Knight Templar, Shriner, Red Cross of Constantine, and has served on the Grand Lodge of Iowa three times - most recently as Deputy Grand Master. He is currently Master of his Lodge again this year, and Commander of his York Rite.
We actually met through the fraternity 25 years ago. I was working for a Shriner, and when Ken joined, he didn't stand a chance! hee hee. Bet he didn't know a wife came with the 3rd degree obligation!
Masonry is a big part of our lives, and we have met so many wonderful people all over the United States because of it.
One year as we were sitting on the beach at CN playing cribbage, on our Masonic Cribbage Board, of course, this strapping young man approached us and asked Ken if he was a Shriner, as he had seen the board. When he said yes, this young man told his story of being a Shrine kid growing up, and all the help he and his family received from the Shriners Hosptial. I'm telling ya, brought tears to my eyes!
Nice to meet you, and I'll extend the hand to Ken for you.