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  1. #1

    Default Cold feet with socks on...

    As the time draws near I have developed what they call, "Cold Feet". This will be my first time traveling and leaving the States, and I will be doing this all with the man I will be spending the rest of my life with.
    I've been waiting for this day, like my whole life.I don't know if the dress I have is good enough, i don't know if he will appreciate the hard work i had to go threw just to find the perfect spot for our union. I just don't know anything anymore...I find it hard to think about anything anymore but this date. To some people it maybe just that I'm excited but I know excitement. This? This is something else!!Bigger, more intenssss... any suggestions? I'm getting scared

  2. #2

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    I think it's perfectly normal... especially if you tend to be a "planner" or tend toward stress/concern in your life. I don't mean that as a criticism. I'm the same way. My fiance tends toward "Glass half full" and while I dont' think I tend toward glass half empty.. I do tend toward analysis and logic.. I'm the one getting out the tape measure to find out if it's half full or half-empty.

    I feel like I'm painting myself (and you by comparison) as a wet blanket or a negative person, and it isn't that at all.. I just know my tendencies and I'm not one of those "Jolly, happy about everything" people. I know that when I go on vacation, the planning stage is always fun, the packing and list-making of things to take starts to stress me out, the air travel exhausts me, but once i'm there.. aaaah... paradise. Add to a "normal" vacation, the stresses of a wedding and it's completely understandable why stress levels and worry can run high. we're getting married in less than a mo at CSS and I worry too.. about most of the things you said, and the worry comes in waves.

    I just keep reading the positive reviews and keep telling myself, it's going to be alright. and even if it isn't alright? Yes, there is some disappointment about the "Little details" but.. I will never feel disappointment about the "Big picture".

    Love is the big picture. If you've found the man you want to spend your life with . IF you still get butterflies about the idea of walking down the aisle toward him... focus on that. Focus on the emotional picture, not the details. Remember that you are creating a marriage, not just a wedding.

    And even if I take a minute to imagine that everything DOES goes terribly wrong (which it won't).. I know I want to be the kind of person who tells my grandkids about the huge thunderstorm and the lost veil and the cut I suffered on my foot walking down the aisle barefoot with a laugh and a twinkle in my eye.. not with bitterness.

    I also remind myself that love is more important than circumstance. I can't tell you how many times I've mentioned to friends who want a review of a restaurant...

    "it was great, but.. as long as you are lovingly looking into the eyes of the man across the table from you.. can it really be bad? "

    If the company is good, the dinner (or wedding in this case) will be good. details of the restaurant/ceremony can be fuzzy (especially if there is wine involved!) but the emotion will be there.

    Now, if you're having cold feet about the man you're marrying. I think that is normal too. and talking to a girlfriend about it, talking to your fiance about it, premarital counseling, these things can all help. You just need to know if it's those normal cold feet feelings, or if there are significant issues that need to be addressed.

    hugs. search yourself. if he's the man you want to marry, (and not the man you want to "Fix")... then the rest will be alright.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Posts
    143

    Default


    Chocklate,
    Sounds to me that you are suffering not from cold feet, as you sound very sure that you want to spend your life with this man, but instead from a case of "OVERLOAD"!!

    Take some time and do something special for YOU! Go have a pedicure or a facial. Trust yourself that you have planned this and it WILL be your dream wedding!

    I have had moments like that myself and then I realize that I'm tired and stressed. But when I step back and take a breath and rest then I realize that everything will be fine. Remember...it's just details! The bigger picture is the life you're going to have with the man you love!

    Hope this helps!
    p.s. will you remind me of what I said in about 3 weeks? We leave for CN June 20th!

  4. #4

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    I had never really left the States either until we left together to go get married. I did have some anxiety but my wonderful co-workers bought us a really nice bottle of champagne and we drank it at the airport. We had a couple drinks on the plane and the next thing you know, we were in Jamaica. Don't worry about your dress because all that matters is that YOU like it and you totally picked the perfect spot to get married because you picked COUPLES!!! No worries mon!! Relax and enjoy

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Posts
    64

    Default It's Natural

    Just go with the Jamaican phrase "Don't worry, be happy" and "No problem, mon!" If you live by those two phrases, everything will be fine.

  6. #6

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    Take it from someone who has gone through a divorce. You do not want to go forward the way you are feeling. Only you know, follow your gut and good luck.

  7. #7

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    Thanks for your view points, for now Bluemoon thanks to you, I have taken sometime to myself to love me. I will still be getting married to the hubby to be, and I don't have any worries, because i know he'll be there to share it all with me. I love my man and he loves me, weather I'm in a rain coat or in a dress, he will be there to say I do. Hell leave it up to him, down towne and a few drinks to celebrate it fine with him.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Posts
    143

    Default

    Glad you are feeling better and that I could help you. Best of luck to you both!

  9. #9

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    thank you Bluemoon my hubby says "No Worries", and now he lets me go out once a week with just, me, myself and I, and a few of my girlfriends and it make a world of a differents... Thanks

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