Thread: Rude to invite guests w/ no reception?

We have several friends and family that have said that they'd like to come and watch us get married.. Should be send out invitaties, save the dates, ect. If:

1.) We're not having a reception. Just the ceremony.
2.) We can't afford to pay for any part of any one elses trip.

We don't mind them coming at all. I Just feel like if some people are going to be coming we should be sending out invitations to the entire family.

i sent invitations to everyone (6 months in advance). this way no one could say i left them out. I made my own to save money since postage is expensive. I had an overwhelming response of people who wanted to come. Now that it's less than 2 weeks away we have exactly 3 couples joining us. Some of them we are surprised, but extremely happy, they are coming. personally, it wouldnt have mattered if no one came. we are happy with each other! we are not paying anyone's way, but our own.

Now the overwhelming response is for us to have a reception when we get back. I have been blatantly honest: we couldn't afford the big wedding/reception stateside and that's why we went destination (we are young and paying every penny ourselves) I have some volunteers now to host one on our behalf upon our return. If it actually happens, that's great. if it doesn't, i'm not going to sweat it.

I put on our theknot website that people are welcome to come to Jamaica but we are not going to be upset if not many show. We are doing a reception when we get back but its going to be casual and at my parents. Plus I am going to make most of the food ahead of time and freeze it...not your normal reception I guess...but just a fun and relaxing party with we get back...hopefully.

I dont think you need to send invites. Just let family and friends know when and where you are getting married and you would love for them to join you. I am not really having a reception just a cocktail hour after the ceremony then everyone will part ways for the day and meet up for dinner.

We are having an informal reception back home at our house.

We have 5 couples joining us and I am not paying their way at all.

Thanks so much for the answers. In the beginning we thought it would be just the two of us. But a lot of people have mentioned wanting to come with us. We're well aware in reality very few will actually make the trip. However we don't want to leave anyone out.
I'm wondering if we should just send like "save the date" style cards out with the website info. W/out formal invitations?

I was only going to do the save the date thing and website thing. Then my soon to be mother in law insisted on wanting to make invitations for me to send out as her wedding present to us. So that's why I'm doing it LOL She's really good at it though, so its worth it! Best of luck!

I did send out save the dates and had planned on sending formal invites as well, but then decided I did not need to spend the extra money as those that are coming have booked their trip so thats a RSVP taken care of. I am sending out informal invitations out for the at home reception, and asking them to RSVP on my website or by phone.

I'm wondering how to word it though? " See wedding website for more info"?

When you return home receptions don't have to be big and expensive. My husband and I got married 19 years ago at Walt Disney World. Two weeks after we returned home we had a 'reception' at a friend's house. It was more of just a party/gathering than an official reception. We had pictures from the wedding and it gave me another opportunity to wear my dress. My sister-in-law made some treats up and my step-mother-in-law made a cake. It was a really good time. We just stood around and chatted. No band, no DJ, just a good time with friends.

I sent email invites to everyone that had a link to our wedding website. There was a template provided through my wedding website. I also posted it on facebook. Tons of people told us that they wanted to come and got all the info from our planner but now that it's around the corner only a few family members and my best friend are going. I'm glad I didn't shell out extra money to send formal invitations.

Originally Posted by Paige

I sent email invites to everyone that had a link to our wedding website. There was a template provided through my wedding website. I also posted it on facebook. Tons of people told us that they wanted to come and got all the info from our planner but now that it's around the corner only a few family members and my best friend are going. I'm glad I didn't shell out extra money to send formal invitations.

Which site are you using?

We have about 17 couples going with us in June. We just sent out our actual invitations this past week. We started saying what we were doing last winter and I told people if they wanted to come they were welcome to come. We have some people that I thought would never go. We also had some people who said they were going to go, but never booked yet. We will see if the invitations get anyone else to jump on board or not. Most book last year to get the resort credit.

You can have a "reception" while you are there. Just have the people that are going with you meet at a certain restaurant for dinner one evening. We are doing a reception when we get back, but no where near traditional reception. Just food, drink and friends.

We got married at CSA and did send out invitations to everyone. We knew there would only be a few that would really make it. Passports, cost, vacation. But we had a travel agent and referred them to her. She took care of 7 couples that joined us. We had a blast. I think our friends wanted an excuse to go to Jamaica. I'm glad we were able to give them one. I printed my invites, used a beautiful beach scene and put the information on the inside and a casual picture of the two of us on the back. Saved a ton of money.

That's a nice idea. I think our friends would like a reason to visit Jamaica as well

Being the very process-oriented person that I am, I had a plan for mapping out how guests would be included. Of course in the beginning everyone wants to go. That's what the all say. But I had a realistic expection of 25people. Unfortunately, you have to send save the dates and invitations to everybody because of this thing called etiquette, so I bit the bullet on those expenses. We were married on 10/9/10, so I sent the save the dates in August 2009. I sent out roughly 125 save the dates. Looking at the list of the names, I created filters for people who I knew would go, who I thought might go, and who I knew definitely wasn't going. For the people who I knew would go, and might go, I sent a newsletter at the same time I sent their save the dates. The newsletter contained detailed information about the resort, ceremony details payment plans, etc. That was maybe to 50-60 people. I also am a travel agent and served as one for our wedding. I started the payment plans with the save the dates so that people knew up front the costs, and couldn't say I waited til the last minute, etc. Again, I had to ensure proper etiquette. I come from a family where etiquette is of the utmost importance. I sent out the formal invitations in March/April 2010, the standard 6 month advanced notice for destination wedding, and this time, I sent out an updated newsletter to maybe 25-30 invites. At that point, our guest list was pretty clear. We had a pre-wedding reception instead of a bridal shower, about 6 weeks before we left. We were deadset on NOT having a reception when we returned. Some people thought it was rude and unfair, but it was too bad for them. We (or I) made every attempt to get as many people to go as we could. We had a pre-wedding celebration and once the wedding was done, it was over. We ended up with about 22 guests. Which is around what I had planned on in the first place. We gave everyone over a year to try to attend. Which was more than enough time. In conclusion (sorry for the super long post), don't feel bad about not wanting to do a reception when you come back!!!

Thanks everyone!