The Couples' Table

Why you should sit down together at least once a day.

Many of us are tied to such busy schedules, that we find ourselves going days without truly connecting with our partner. Studies show that couples who spend focused time together interacting on a regular basis have a better chance of building a loving, long-term relationship. That’s why I believe it is so important to sit down together at least once a day with no distractions.

Imagine this. . . You and your partner, alone, for 15 minutes (maybe more!), talking, sipping wine, locking eyes, and reminiscing how you met, fell in love, all the while remembering why you’re together. Yes, it can be difficult to carve out that alone time every day, but here is why it is so crucial to your relationship:

1. Positivity builds relationships. Sharing good news, supporting your partner and knowing what goes on in each other’s everyday lives is so important. Researchers continue to look into the power of connection as it pertains to making relationships last. It doesn’t take much effort – a little nod, a smile, a good listen - and you’re cementing closeness.

2. Communication is key. It’s so easy to fall into a rut of simply sending text messages back and forth and thinking we’re connected. Did you know that technology is actually a relationship disrupter? Couples who use text messages to fight or apologize or work out problems are less happy together because they are ultimately alone. Face-to-face communication, with eye contact, body language and yes, intimacy, is what relationships are about. (It’s a nice touch, however, to send a quick text that says I love you!)

3. Regular connection keeps problems from growing. If you have time together every day, even a short time, you can bring up things that are bothering you and dismiss them rather quickly. If you don’t, and they fester, your relationship starts to come undone. Small problems left alone turn into big problems that are really hard to resolve. Think of daily connecting like working out – you can’t do it once and think you’ll be in great shape. It takes regular, focused effort!

4. Carving out time to spend together each day creates a habit of appreciation and gratitude. You’re building a culture of respect for one another, focusing on the good rather than on your partner’s mistakes.

5. Make it productive time, too. There’s no reason you can’t have your together-time while making dinner for the family. Think about standing in the kitchen, one of you chopping tomatoes, the other setting the table, all the while talking about your day. Pour two glasses of wine to accompany your effort, and put a little Bob Marley on in the background. The whole family will end up happy.

How do you and your partner carve out "us time"? Let me know in a comment below!

One love,

Carrie

 

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